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Old 09-20-2019, 12:37 PM
 
24 posts, read 14,537 times
Reputation: 56

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I'm registered in my country's national database of non organ donors. Don't know how it works in the US but here you are always considered a potential donor unless you formally declare otherwise (by signing a document and joining this database). Of course even when you are not in this registry, your family can still refuse to allow it.

The mother of a friend of mine died in hospital and when it became apparent death was imminent, members of the transplant team showed up like vultures to start putting pressure on the issue. He told them he wanted to accompany his mother in peace in her final hours and then he'd think about it. They just kept coming back.

He noticed his mother was refused pain medication in her final hours as well, certainly to speed up death. When she finally died, the transplant team showed up 5 minutes later requesting his permission.

He found it so blatantly disrespectful that he showed them the middle finger and said they wouldn't use a single skin cell from his mother.

It's not like I touch this topic regularly with people around me but everytime I did I was rebuked by some of them, even when I explained my reasons.

P.S. Of course I would not require a transplant myself if I needed it. If a family member wanted to it, though, I would support them 100%.

 
Old 09-20-2019, 01:11 PM
 
713 posts, read 445,256 times
Reputation: 1617
Quote:
Originally Posted by UndisclosedFeature View Post
I'm registered in my country's national database of non organ donors. Don't know how it works in the US but here you are always considered a potential donor unless you formally declare otherwise (by signing a document and joining this database). Of course even when you are not in this registry, your family can still refuse to allow it.

The mother of a friend of mine died in hospital and when it became apparent death was imminent, members of the transplant team showed up like vultures to start putting pressure on the issue. He told them he wanted to accompany his mother in peace in her final hours and then he'd think about it. They just kept coming back.

He noticed his mother was refused pain medication in her final hours as well, certainly to speed up death. When she finally died, the transplant team showed up 5 minutes later requesting his permission.

He found it so blatantly disrespectful that he showed them the middle finger and said they wouldn't use a single skin cell from his mother.

It's not like I touch this topic regularly with people around me but everytime I did I was rebuked by some of them, even when I explained my reasons.

P.S. Of course I would not require a transplant myself if I needed it. If a family member wanted to it, though, I would support them 100%.
I’ve heard of this before; in my days as a nurse years ago. Not sure how true it was though.

Last edited by Iluvbeagles; 09-20-2019 at 01:15 PM.. Reason: To add something
 
Old 09-20-2019, 01:47 PM
 
24 posts, read 14,537 times
Reputation: 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iluvbeagles View Post
I’ve heard of this before; in my days as a nurse years ago. Not sure how true it was though.
Well, it doesn't benefit their image and it surely contributed to my decision.
 
Old 09-20-2019, 01:48 PM
 
2,819 posts, read 2,569,777 times
Reputation: 3554
It is your body, your choice however I think it’s incredibly selfish to do so. If I have a few hours of suffering but someone else gets a heart so they can live then it’s not a big deal to me. Or if they want to use my body for research or whatever. I won’t need it when I’m dead. Of course here in the states they also don’t deny you pain meds for being a donor anyways. Again to each their own...but I hope I have a donor should I ever need a transplant.
 
Old 09-20-2019, 01:51 PM
 
35,507 posts, read 17,765,818 times
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So because the staff seemed concerned that they not miss this opportunity to save several lives, and were present if the organs were donated, you spitefully refused healthy organs that would save other people's lives?

Expect to be rebuked every time you tell this story. Second thought, maybe you should keep it to yourself?
 
Old 09-20-2019, 01:54 PM
 
Location: Northern California
128,516 posts, read 11,871,550 times
Reputation: 38636
I am a registered organ donor. While I doubt much of my body will be any good to others after I am gone, if they can use some bone or skin, then why not? I will no longer have need of it, & it seems like the right thing to do. I like to help people whenever I can.
 
Old 09-20-2019, 01:55 PM
 
3,805 posts, read 6,337,343 times
Reputation: 7860
They may have seemed like vultures, but in organ transplants, time is of the essence. They are trying to save other lives, sometimes really young lives. It may seem ghoulish but try to gain another perspective. Imagine if it was your teenage child who desperately needed a heart/liver/lung/kidney to survive. Those "vultures" are simply advocating for them.
 
Old 09-20-2019, 02:17 PM
 
Location: on the wind
23,015 posts, read 18,343,985 times
Reputation: 74489
Quote:
Originally Posted by UndisclosedFeature View Post
The mother of a friend of mine died in hospital and when it became apparent death was imminent, members of the transplant team showed up like vultures to start putting pressure on the issue. He told them he wanted to accompany his mother in peace in her final hours and then he'd think about it. They just kept coming back.

He noticed his mother was refused pain medication in her final hours as well, certainly to speed up death. When she finally died, the transplant team showed up 5 minutes later requesting his permission.
People under stress change their minds...a lot. They also procrastinate and delay complex decisions. The team hadn't gotten a firm NO before either from your friend or his mother, so they kept coming back. If he'd given them a firm NO the first time they arrived they probably would have honored that decision and left both of them alone. No one was being a vulture. They were advocating for others. Time is critical.

The decision not to donate your own organs is yours to make. There are multiple reasons people choose not to; medical, religious, personal, etc. It shouldn't matter what the reason is and no one (including anyone here) should condemn you for it. However, coldly abusing the donor team for doing their job on behalf of other unfortunates does NOT get you a pass from me. There is no reason to insult them. Hard to imagine a more difficult and emotionally taxing job. If you or this friend were on a donor list and counting on others to save your life somehow I suspect you would be speaking out the other side of your mouth.
 
Old 09-20-2019, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Vallejo
21,696 posts, read 24,880,961 times
Reputation: 18942
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
So because the staff seemed concerned that they not miss this opportunity to save several lives, and were present if the organs were donated, you spitefully refused healthy organs that would save other people's lives?

Expect to be rebuked every time you tell this story. Second thought, maybe you should keep it to yourself?
Or just not waste their time. They've got a limited number of hours to get the meat to the chop shop before it expires. Make a decision. If you don't want them standing around waiting to take mom to the chop shop, then tell them mom's not going to go to the chop shop. They're just going to stand around waiting until you make a decision one way or the other.
 
Old 09-20-2019, 02:32 PM
 
24 posts, read 14,537 times
Reputation: 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by sayulita View Post
They may have seemed like vultures, but in organ transplants, time is of the essence. They are trying to save other lives, sometimes really young lives. It may seem ghoulish but try to gain another perspective. Imagine if it was your teenage child who desperately needed a heart/liver/lung/kidney to survive. Those "vultures" are simply advocating for them.
Well, they should learn some manners first then.

My friend later told me that he was actually considering allowing the donation at first. But after such behaviour he could no longer accept it. He also made a formal complaint at the hospital.
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