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Old 06-19-2020, 05:12 AM
 
Location: NJ
13,376 posts, read 23,027,644 times
Reputation: 12344

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grlzrl View Post
Sometimes my stress level is really so over the top. I have a REALLY ADHD kid and another kind of difficult kid and I had cancer and the meds keep me from sleeping well EVER. I could go on and on. Some methods of reducing stress no longer work and I won't go into it.

But everyone has solutions and most of them I have tried (regarding sleep) but when I talk to people and think about people, I feel like I am the only one who doesn't drink or use some drug to reduce stress.

I know people who take stuff to sleep, or drink every day, or use Xanax or get high all the time. The list goes on.

I just wonder. Am I the only one who doesn't have SOME way to self medicate? Am I just stupid?
You need your sleep. No one can keep going without it, especially having an ADHD kid and a difficult one.

If you can get to sleep but not stay asleep, try the OTC midnite, $7 at Walmart. Pop one on your tongue, close your eyes, you'll be back to sleep. If not, try a 2nd.

You can also try Unisom gels or Tylenol PM to see if it helps and if it doesn't, see your doctor. My daughter and I take generic Lunesta, some generics work while others don't but I've been on it a long time. Right now I use Walgreens which is the better then what my local CVS has.
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Old 06-19-2020, 10:50 AM
 
Location: equator
5,078 posts, read 2,229,569 times
Reputation: 12512
MJ cookie I whip up at home. Really good for sleep.

I've always been rather anti-med and glad I wasn't on anything. Then I got heart arrhythmia and all that changed. Sigh.
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Old 06-19-2020, 11:27 AM
 
Location: Tucson/Nogales
19,121 posts, read 22,864,652 times
Reputation: 26717
Given what's going on in this country today I'm wouldn't be surprised if 95% of the population aren't taking anti-depressants, CBD products, powerful sleep medication and triple shot drinks before bedtime.

No matter what direction you look today it all spells Depression. Power to those who can do without!
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Old 06-19-2020, 11:38 AM
 
951 posts, read 321,017 times
Reputation: 3277
I don't consume alcohol, no drugs, no prescriptions, no over the counter drugs. Nothing.

Clean diet- no salt, no sugar, no oil; only clean whole foods. Daily exercise, proper sleep.

Try it sometime. Works wonders.
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Old 06-19-2020, 11:42 AM
Status: "Burning the midnight oil" (set 3 days ago)
 
7 posts, read 994 times
Reputation: 20
I also often feel like The Only Person Who Doesn't Drink/Smoke/Etc. and during this stressful time, it has certainly been a struggle. I definitely considered going on mental health meds or breaking my vow to no longer drink. So how have I been dealing with it?

#1 Pray. On the really rough days, I literally pray something like "Christ, I am giving this day to you because I'm dont know what the heck to do with it, I can't handle it, so please.. You take it, You handle it. Please take it and make it into whatever You think it should be. You take the control. You tell me what to do and how to handle it." and when its REALLY bad, I pray something similar, giving each moment.. each thought.. each minute to him, until the worst part passes.

#2 This extended Serenity Prayer has really helped me:
God, grant me the Serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as You did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.


#3 Do Communion and pray every day. It works best if its at the start of the day, but anytime is good.


No offense or pressure intended if you are not of a Christian faith. Just being honest about what really works for me. Ok for some non-spiritual tools I use:

- Music. This is the top coping skill among everyone I work with (social worker). I have to remind myself to use it for me, too. The reason it works is that music helps stabilize activity in the temporal lobe of the brain, which is one main area that regulates our emotional mood. I find that I "dont want to listen to music" when I'm stressed (instead, I usually "want" to do things that aren't actually helpful for me) but if I talk myself into trying it, it does help. And sometimes helps surprisingly fast. I need to do this more often LOL

- I plan other healthy coping skills into my day's schedule. It doesnt always get done, but at least if I designate a time and space to relax, it's more likely to work out. I put conscious effort towards trying to include at least one de-stressing, relaxing, coping skill-type activity into each day. (I also try not to stress about it if it doesnt happen every time)

- I take Melatonin for sleep. I have a sleep rhythm disorder. You sound like you've probably heard this before, but in case you havent, melatonin is naturally produced by the human body and is used to help us get sleepy and stay asleep. I take 6mg about 30 mins before I lay down. For some people it takes an hour instead of 30 mins. Its certainly not a cure-all and I still have plenty of issues with sleep, but it definitely helps and its natural. The only side effect I've ever heard of was that it can cause urinary incontinence if taken every day for a long time (but that was in an active alcoholic).

- I've figured out what other natural supplements work for my brain, body and gut be at their best. It really is true that if you have a digestive imbalance that it can negatively influence your brain (mood, etc) balance, and there's more and more research being published supporting this idea. I cut out sugar drinks (turns out they breed bad gut bacteria), and take supplements for lactose intolerance, probiotics, beano, etc (all natural) which eventually allowed my stomach to finally reach a place of health and balance. I was surprised to find that my mental state improved as well. So if you find that your digestive system is disrupted (pain, inflammation, acid reflux, etc), it's worth looking into the cause and solutions because it can also help your brain and emotional health.

- I vent. For me, talking about it is a great way to get my feelings off my chest (and thoughts out of my mind). I pick who I talk to carefully so as to make sure its a supportive person (and that they are in a supportive mood and not too stressed out to be able to listen kindly).

- Deep breathing, guided meditations on youtube, etc. also work for me. Deep breathing works because slow deep breaths send signals throughout your body on a physiological level that it can calm down now. So studies show that it lowers your heart rate and blood pressure. I believe it also lowers your cortisol (stress hormone) levels. The simplest one I use is closing my eyes in a private space where I wont be interrupted: I slowly breath in for a count of 4 seconds, holding it for a count of 4, exhale slowly for 4 seconds, and then keep lungs empty for 4 (or 4-ish) seconds. Then repeat at least 4 times, longer as you want/need to. This is a technique taught to soldiers to steady their mind in battle.

- Dont give up. Different things work for different people. If something doesnt work, try the next thing. If you keep trying, eventually you will find the strategies that work for you. Something WILL work. It's just a matter of finding it.


Also since you mentioned your kids having their own difficulties (and that, in turn, stressing you out), try to help them find their own stress relief/coping skills too. It will help them feel better and help them stress you out less, so you'll feel better too. Maybe there might even be some fun ones you can do together.

Here's a link for coping skills - if you scroll down a lot, there is a list: https://www.verywellmind.com/forty-h...skills-4586742 but there's so much out there on google, its worth searching.

best of luck!
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Old 06-19-2020, 01:20 PM
 
2,956 posts, read 1,306,916 times
Reputation: 5892
Default Healthy coping is taught not innate

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grlzrl View Post
Sometimes my stress level is really so over the top. I have a REALLY ADHD kid and another kind of difficult kid and I had cancer and the meds keep me from sleeping well EVER. I could go on and on. Some methods of reducing stress no longer work and I won't go into it.

But everyone has solutions and most of them I have tried (regarding sleep) but when I talk to people and think about people, I feel like I am the only one who doesn't drink or use some drug to reduce stress.

I know people who take stuff to sleep, or drink every day, or use Xanax or get high all the time. The list goes on.

I just wonder. Am I the only one who doesn't have SOME way to self medicate? Am I just stupid?

You are not stupid but you are a candidate. Prevention is key. Help is needed.

I have a warning for you. Before you succumb to some artificial means to releive your stress and/or addiction you need some self-soothing methods to support you. We aren't born with the tools to cope with overwhelment. Healthy coping mechanisms have to be taught and if you got none of that growing up I think you could learn some now.

I got healthy coping education from 8 months of rehab along with 12 step programs. I know you are not going there yet but you can't leave it to chance. Sooner or later you could become a user. Nip in bud and look everywhere for self-help audio or text, face to face professional, group. Do you have a community health center? Good for services and referrals.


It takes work though and the rewards are unmeasureable. Please take my word for it.


I wish you the very best life has to offer.
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Old 06-19-2020, 02:14 PM
 
Location: McAllen, TX
4,461 posts, read 3,014,627 times
Reputation: 5282
Try Ashwaganda for anxiety and stress. This is not the supplements forum but that is a proven remedy and it's a natural product.
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Old 06-19-2020, 02:21 PM
 
2,924 posts, read 1,664,374 times
Reputation: 12737
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grlzrl View Post
Ok, talk to me. How do you deal with stress?
I've eliminated stress in my life as best I can...I purposefully avoid toxic people and stressful situations, and I don't dwell on bad news. Being retired helps, of course, as I have no problems of daily work life.

As for stresses that I can't eliminate--I figure there's nothing I can do, so I ignore them as best I can. I prefer to concentrate on the joys I have in my life. There is always something good to focus on.
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Old 06-19-2020, 04:50 PM
 
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
5,696 posts, read 3,083,808 times
Reputation: 11264
Discussing your problems, stress, etc. with a professional is a good first step. They may or may not decide you need an anti-depressant, but it's up to you whether you use it.

About a year after my mother died (years ago) I experienced delayed grief. It helped me tremendously to talk not only with a grief counselor, but a psychologist. Group meditation was also popular then, and it was also helpful. I learned to meditate, and wish I would do it more often, like now that we are isolated.

But if you are looking for something quick that you can do now, I would suggest searching YouTube (hopefully via your television, so that you aren't staring into a small phone or tablet) for meditation. You don't want to have to scroll or do anything that will disturb the meditation. Darken the room, sit on your bed or a mat, and don't have any distractions.

We have TiVo with YouTube. I found a very good channel, associated with the Monterey Bay Aquarium. At first, my husband and I just watched the sweet little penguins roam around the empty aquarium. That helped, and then another video appeared, and we decided to do guided meditation. We both agreed we felt wonderful and calm afterwards. We did it right before we went to sleep.

I highly recommend guided meditation. I'll try to find the link for you.

Here is a link to several:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...CJNylwgyrB72V6

Here's the first one we did, with the famous jellies of the Aquarium:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5J2l...CJNylwgyrB72V6

I hope you feel as relaxed as we did after meditating.
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Old 06-19-2020, 06:50 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
2,359 posts, read 2,046,030 times
Reputation: 2358
I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs or take meds but have high anxiety and last 8 months been most stress of my life. Also had postpartum depression. Sometimes I think about meds to see if it improves but opt not to. My body seems sensitive to pills and I worry the side effects would be worse then the help from it. I am stubborn to take meds unless it’s life threatening.
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