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No, it's exactly the same - assuming that unwanted physical contact is invited simply by a body part being "on display".
Getting felt up for simply being at a bar is wildly different than voluntarily laying on your back naked at an Asian massage with a female masseuse, as the OP has proved at least 4 times at 3 different such establishments.
In one, hands off the body is always the rule, in the other hands on the body is being paid for, and like it or not, its not an entirely unexpected occurrence. The OP just seems to be extremely bad at finding places where it doesn't happen.
Getting felt up for simply being at a bar is wildly different than voluntarily laying on your back naked at an Asian massage with a female masseuse, as the OP has proved at least 4 times at 3 different such establishments.
Once again, not really. Neither one is "asking for it".
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In one, hands off the body is always the rule, in the other hands on the body is being paid for, and like it or not, its not an entirely unexpected occurrence.
No, it absolutely IS an unexpected occurrence, because, just like in the first case, it's inappropriate contact.
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The OP just seems to be extremely bad at finding places where it doesn't happen.
I would go way beyond saying the massage therapist was "unprofessional". The OP was sexually assaulted.
Not much chance of successfully pressing charges, but that is exactly what happened. The same thing happened to a friend of mine and he felt many of the same emotions that female rape victims feel: shame, self-blame, desire to keep it a secret. This should be taken more seriously than it is.
Its only completely unexpected if you've had your head in the sand all your life. Its well known that SOME of certain types of massage establishments offer extras and one of the ways they advertise it is by "accidentally" touching your privates to gauge your response. That can also be a perfectly innocent accident that means nothing but stop playing dumb.
And no I've never been to one where I might expect that, but I know where they are. We all know where they are.
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Originally Posted by jackmccullough
I would go way beyond saying the massage therapist was "unprofessional". The OP was sexually assaulted.
Based only on the information given, that's absurd. We don't know any of the specifics of how exactly he was touched, nor do we know what signals he may have given that she may have misinterpreted.
I prefer Asian massage because they do long strokes from upper back to your leg. I research because there is a stigma with Aian masssage therapists for not being legit. Yeah the posts have good points. Maybe a neck and shoulder massage on a chair is the answer.
Yes there are google and yelp reviews given by both sexes and couples.
I feel like it's also laziness by the massuese. Shorten the massage and still get paid if you know what i mean. I just hope no one saw me come out. How embarrassing.
Judging by the number of Asian "massage" parlors that are closed in raids, I'd find a different type of place such as a spa at a resort.
It's not overreacting. If a woman went for a massage and had her privates touched, it would be a really big deal. It's something you don't want someone doing if it's unwelcome.
You could try a chain like Massage Envy. Or you could talk to the front desk on the way IN so they could relay your wishes to the masseuse. I also agree about men doing better massage. They just have stronger hands.
I’ve gotten massages from spas and vacation resorts and those little Asian girls have hands like steel. It’s often painful, but supposedly therapeutic. Can’t imagine a man being worse, ouch.
You’re right, the OP should check out national chains that have a reputation, not a massage place in a strip mall.
I am a man and I went to for a therapeutic massage for stress relief. They advertise as giving ethical massages. Well she touched my privates twice. Each time I said not there and guided her to elsewhere on my body. She complied but ended the massage shortly after. Instead of an hour massage i got 45. Otherwise she was cordial but confused. I told her im in a relationship and not interested. Arrgh I deliberately researched to make sure its a legit massage. I gave a tip and left as I did not want a scene. I kind want to forget about this but im feeling confused. This is the 3rd time this has happened at different establishments Now I think I am no longer going to do massages anymore. Ridiculous. I just have kept this to myself.
We get massages about once a month, and the staff are Asian. They have never touched anywhere inappropriate. I've never heard anyone I know of, have that happen. Clearly you need to do a little more research on massages in your area.
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