U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-16-2022, 11:57 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
13,501 posts, read 10,153,929 times
Reputation: 21717

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post
have your spouse/SO come into the exam room w/ you & then do you have them come in usually or most of the time? I'm not really talking about urgent care or ER visits. I'm mainly talking about a regular, old doctor's appt. I ask to mainly you FEMALE patients out there because bringing in your husbands/SO might just help the doctor take you more seriously. You know how there's that thing about doctors not taking female patients as seriously.

Would it matter if the doctor you're seeing is a female too?

I'm about t see a new doctor (female) & my fiance' will gladly always go in w/ me to show support, but sometimes, I like that privacy to just talk 1-on-1 w/ the doctor since she's a female too. If the new doctor was a male, I'd definitely have my fiance' come in there w/ me.
I'd much prefer to visit any doctor myself, rather than being accompanied by my husband. I prepare for my doctor visits by reading as much as I can to familiarize myself with the issues that bring me to see the doctor, and to see generally what the community standard of treatment/care is for the illness or condition. I do this, not to challenge the doctor's knowledge or experience regarding the matter, but so I can understand what's happening and the rationale behind the doc's approach to treatment, management, or whatever. It also prepares me to ask relevant questions. I think most doctors ( at least in my experience) respect an intelligent, prepared patient who also respects them, and doesn't waste their limited time. For the most part, I feel I have been respected as a person and a patient by the doctors I have seen.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-16-2022, 12:02 PM
Status: "I have decided to be happy because it is good for my health" (set 29 days ago)
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
14,342 posts, read 10,445,327 times
Reputation: 50641
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post
I've pretty much felt I've been taken seriously for the most part w/ doctors throughout the years. But if it's going to be a male doctor, I'd really want my SO in there just so it's not just myself & the male doctor (& that's not if it's something gynecological), unless I've been seeing the (male) dr several times or so & know it's just a routine appt or something. (If it's something gynecological or a mammogram, I'll ask for a female doctor in the 1st place. I know women do it all the time, but I just cannot fathom myself doing those kinds of appts w/ an opposite-gendered doctor.)

What if the physician is LGBT?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-16-2022, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
14,143 posts, read 24,973,295 times
Reputation: 23634
IMO - OP needs to stand up for herself and seems to be intimidated by men.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-16-2022, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Hawaii/Alabama
2,151 posts, read 3,789,099 times
Reputation: 6048
My DH comes with me, but I am disabled and DH is retired. Since I am blind and in a chair when we are in Alabama there is not a handicapped bus service that comes to our area.

Before DH retired I had a great handicapped service in Hawaii and had no issues getting myself to appointments (I also knew Tripler Army Med Center before I lost my sight and had no issues getting around).

I have never had an issue having with Doctors taking me seriously except when I asked to have my tubes tied after giving birth to my 2nd child I was told that I was too "young" to make that decision).

OP- do what makes you feel comfortable when you have an appointment.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-16-2022, 12:23 PM
 
12,973 posts, read 8,959,162 times
Reputation: 34402
I’ve had three babies and two bouts with cancer including surgery/chemo/radiation, as well as the regular minor appointments, such as routine ob-gyn checkups. My husband owns a small business and when he’s not there, it’s closed, so I have only asked him to come with me a few times. I can name them:

1. Anatomy scan for my first two pregnancies (but not the third)
2. Delivery of all three babies
3. Surgery—Two lumpectomies, one double mastectomy

Everything else, I’ve gone by myself. I am amazed when other women tell me their husband came along to, for instance, every single radiation treatment for their breast cancer. And these are not women whose husbands are retired. I would never have even asked! I just drove myself over and back. I drove myself to and from chemo, too. And I certainly feel capable of visiting the dermatologist etc. by myself, even though my dermatologist is male. Never have had any issues with how I’ve been treated, which has always been very professionally.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-16-2022, 01:04 PM
 
2,240 posts, read 1,012,722 times
Reputation: 3801
No, not even for my oncology appointments. I can deal with any potential bad news on my own … or rather on my own with my oncologist. I have never felt like my concerns haven’t been taken seriously.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-16-2022, 01:06 PM
 
2,240 posts, read 1,012,722 times
Reputation: 3801
Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
I’ve had three babies and two bouts with cancer including surgery/chemo/radiation, as well as the regular minor appointments, such as routine ob-gyn checkups. My husband owns a small business and when he’s not there, it’s closed, so I have only asked him to come with me a few times. I can name them:

1. Anatomy scan for my first two pregnancies (but not the third)
2. Delivery of all three babies
3. Surgery—Two lumpectomies, one double mastectomy

Everything else, I’ve gone by myself. I am amazed when other women tell me their husband came along to, for instance, every single radiation treatment for their breast cancer. And these are not women whose husbands are retired. I would never have even asked! I just drove myself over and back. I drove myself to and from chemo, too. And I certainly feel capable of visiting the dermatologist etc. by myself, even though my dermatologist is male. Never have had any issues with how I’ve been treated, which has always been very professionally.
Their husbands come to every single radiation appointment? That is over-the-top IMHO.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-16-2022, 01:16 PM
 
Location: on the wind
18,285 posts, read 11,887,287 times
Reputation: 59737
OK, I haven't been married so can't really relate to the whole "bringing my spouse along to my doctor visits" thing, but it would never occur to me to depend on a spouse, SO, partner, or anyone other than myself in terms of medical care. I don't walk into a provider's office with the suspicion or pre-conceived notion they're going to treat me differently because I'm an unaccompanied woman!

What may be a different matter would be bringing another person along for a consultation just so there's a second set of ears and eyes absorbing lots of important information. Or if someone would need to assist in my recovery from some major procedure. Gender has nothing to do with that. IIRC that's happened twice in the past 40 years.

Whether in a relationship or not, I've been an independent digit ever since I became a legal adult. Sure, I've read the theory that some in the medical profession dismiss or talk down to women, but doubt I've been subjected to that myself. I've always tried to at least project someone who's biologically informed, an independent self-determined thinker, respectful and attentive, but perfectly capable of handling myself. I'm sure that plays a big part in how professionals treat me. The first time a new doc condescended to or dismissed me would be the last time I went there for care.

Last edited by Parnassia; 08-16-2022 at 01:52 PM..
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-16-2022, 01:33 PM
 
7,011 posts, read 3,485,222 times
Reputation: 4413
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post
have your spouse/SO come into the exam room w/ you & then do you have them come in usually or most of the time? I'm not really talking about urgent care or ER visits. I'm mainly talking about a regular, old doctor's appt. I ask to mainly you FEMALE patients out there because bringing in your husbands/SO might just help the doctor take you more seriously. You know how there's that thing about doctors not taking female patients as seriously.

Would it matter if the doctor you're seeing is a female too?

I'm about t see a new doctor (female) & my fiance' will gladly always go in w/ me to show support, but sometimes, I like that privacy to just talk 1-on-1 w/ the doctor since she's a female too. If the new doctor was a male, I'd definitely have my fiance' come in there w/ me.
As a woman, I don't go to male doctors unless there are no female doctor options.

As for your fiancé--are you cohabitating? Do you have a wedding date? Just want to know more about how serious your relationship is. No offense, but some women call their boyfriends "my fiancé" even if there is only idle chatter about getting married someday.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-16-2022, 01:34 PM
 
2,293 posts, read 880,124 times
Reputation: 4446
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post
have your spouse/SO come into the exam room w/ you & then do you have them come in usually or most of the time? I'm not really talking about urgent care or ER visits. I'm mainly talking about a regular, old doctor's appt. I ask to mainly you FEMALE patients out there because bringing in your husbands/SO might just help the doctor take you more seriously. You know how there's that thing about doctors not taking female patients as seriously.

Would it matter if the doctor you're seeing is a female too?

I'm about t see a new doctor (female) & my fiance' will gladly always go in w/ me to show support, but sometimes, I like that privacy to just talk 1-on-1 w/ the doctor since she's a female too. If the new doctor was a male, I'd definitely have my fiance' come in there w/ me.
Sorry, but I cant even imagine bringing husband, boyfriend, friend, etc. Nope! What difference would it make if the dr was male, female, gay, etc? When I was pregnant years ago I had a wonderful male OB. He was terrific and My husband never came to a drs appt. No reason to. Ive had other male drs and females. and the only time my spouse even took me to a drs appt was when I was on crutches and couldnt drive. I would no more think of going to his dr appts than have him come to mine. Last I knew we were adults.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2022, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top