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Old 08-16-2022, 09:15 AM
 
Location: Southern California
11,262 posts, read 12,467,594 times
Reputation: 13342

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have your spouse/SO come into the exam room w/ you & then do you have them come in usually or most of the time? I'm not really talking about urgent care or ER visits. I'm mainly talking about a regular, old doctor's appt. I ask to mainly you FEMALE patients out there because bringing in your husbands/SO might just help the doctor take you more seriously. You know how there's that thing about doctors not taking female patients as seriously.

Would it matter if the doctor you're seeing is a female too?

I'm about t see a new doctor (female) & my fiance' will gladly always go in w/ me to show support, but sometimes, I like that privacy to just talk 1-on-1 w/ the doctor since she's a female too. If the new doctor was a male, I'd definitely have my fiance' come in there w/ me.
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Old 08-16-2022, 09:38 AM
 
Location: Texas
5,532 posts, read 5,196,631 times
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I'm a 51 yo female and I've never had another person accompany me into the exam room during any doctor's visit as an adult, with the exception of one prenatal visit my husband attended with me (the visit where they did the detailed anatomical ultrasound during my first pregnancy- my husband said he wanted to see it). I've never felt I wouldn't be taken seriously by a physician because I was a woman, regardless of their gender. I do know, however, that some people feel it happens, and perhaps with some physicians, it does, but I haven't experienced it.

Having another person present can be extremely helpful if the patient is older, has memory or developmental issues and/or if there's any reason the patient may not be willing or able to ask questions or retain information (like a new diagnosis of a serious illness). I will also say that my husband, who's a surgeon, strongly encourages (and prefers) that his male patients bring along their spouses/partners to Pre Op and Post Op visits because he says men are significantly less likely to ask him questions or take notes, and if the spouse is present, communication goes much more smoothly and instructions are more likely to be followed.
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Old 08-16-2022, 09:41 AM
 
9,361 posts, read 12,478,442 times
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It would never occur to me to have my husband at doctor's appointments. What a pure waste of his time. Unless I am physically or mentally uncapable, that visit is for me, only.
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Old 08-16-2022, 09:53 AM
 
Location: Southern California
11,262 posts, read 12,467,594 times
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I've pretty much felt I've been taken seriously for the most part w/ doctors throughout the years. But if it's going to be a male doctor, I'd really want my SO in there just so it's not just myself & the male doctor (& that's not if it's something gynecological), unless I've been seeing the (male) dr several times or so & know it's just a routine appt or something. (If it's something gynecological or a mammogram, I'll ask for a female doctor in the 1st place. I know women do it all the time, but I just cannot fathom myself doing those kinds of appts w/ an opposite-gendered doctor.)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas Ag 93 View Post
...Having another person present can be extremely helpful if the patient is older, has memory or developmental issues and/or if there's any reason the patient may not be willing or able to ask questions or retain information (like a new diagnosis of a serious illness). I will also say that my husband, who's a surgeon, strongly encourages (and prefers) that his male patients bring along their spouses/partners to Pre Op and Post Op visits because he says men are significantly less likely to ask him questions or take notes, and if the spouse is present, communication goes much more smoothly and instructions are more likely to be followed.

Yes, all that sounds perfectly logical.


Quote:
Originally Posted by spencgr View Post
It would never occur to me to have my husband at doctor's appointments. What a pure waste of his time. Unless I am physically or mentally uncapable, that visit is for me, only.

I'm not necessarily saying to everyone to have your partner take a day off from work or something else important just to accompany you to some minor dr. appt. It also depends on how serious you think it is that you're seeing the dr about, but if the other person is free, wouldn't you like that moral support? Just plain support from your partner who loves you, wants you to be well, etc.?

I don't have to go to doctors on any regular basis, but there's been a couple of times when my fiance' will go w/ me, but I'll have him stay in the waiting room. But, he would have actually come in w/ me because he cares & wants to.

Last edited by Forever Blue; 08-16-2022 at 10:02 AM..
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Old 08-16-2022, 10:10 AM
 
9,361 posts, read 12,478,442 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post


I'm not necessarily saying to everyone to have your partner take a day off from work or something else important just to accompany you to some minor dr. appt. It also depends on how serious you think it is that you're seeing the dr about, but if the other person is free, wouldn't you like that moral support? Just plain support from your partner who loves you, wants you to be well, etc.?

I don't have to go to doctors on any regular basis, but there's been a couple of times when my fiance' will go w/ me, but I'll have him stay in the waiting room. But, he would have actually come in w/ me because he cares & wants to.
I can see having them come to an appointment regarding test results or diagnosis, because if they don't share the results over the phone, it probably isn't good news. But never would I ask him to be part of the actual exam appointment; not would I go to his. I really find it super weird and condescending.
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Old 08-16-2022, 11:22 AM
 
7,587 posts, read 5,619,117 times
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I've never had my spouse go to an appointment with me, let alone go in the exam room.

If it was a consultation to discuss serious health issues, I would consider it.

When I had female exams done by male doctors, they always had a female nurse stay in the room.
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Old 08-16-2022, 11:28 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
27,585 posts, read 30,391,197 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spencgr View Post
I really find it super weird and condescending.
Yeah, I would think that it would make the doctor take you less seriously, not more.
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Old 08-16-2022, 11:32 AM
 
Location: Full Time: N.NJ Part Time: S.CA, ID, Coastal GA
5,135 posts, read 10,727,851 times
Reputation: 6111
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post
... because bringing in your husbands/SO might just help the doctor take you more seriously. You know how there's that thing about doctors not taking female patients as seriously.
Dude here.

What year are you living in? Is this a serious consideration? Sad if true.

I've been into the doctor's office a handful of times with my wife. Many times to OB's office while she was pregnant with our boys. Another time when she was very sick with the flu.
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Old 08-16-2022, 11:34 AM
 
Location: Out there somewhere...a traveling man.
42,775 posts, read 57,154,934 times
Reputation: 121379
My wife and I both see our doctors together at the same time. Our doctors even encourage it. That way we get to know what our health conditions are and what needs to be done if necessary to correct any problems. This way we can remind each other if we forget what the doc said or forget to take medicines on time etc.
Everyone should know what the health conditions are of their spouse and/or loved ones. Support and care are very important.
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Old 08-16-2022, 11:57 AM
Status: "I have decided to be happy because it is good for my health" (set 29 days ago)
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
14,342 posts, read 10,445,327 times
Reputation: 50641
We are not allowed to bring spouses into the exam room at our Palo Alto clinic at this time, which is fine with me.

I had an unsettling encounter in Scottsdale with a new ENT recently, who made his disdain crystal clear. He's one of those guys who have an office where all the walls are covered with commendations and other testimonials to his scintillating brilliance and wonderfulness. I had been scheduled to see his PA, so I've no idea why he showed up instead. He kept peppering me with questions without giving me a chance to explain. He never addressed the problems I pointed to, instead simply wrote up a report stating I was a hypochondriac and there was nothing at all wrong with me.

This treatment is not unique where I live and it's why we come back to the Bay Area frequently for competent arrogance-free medical care.
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