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Thanks, she passed away in 1977, I noticed her gray skin and told my mother she didn't look good. Many doctors don't pick up red flags, my dad had colon cancer, his doctor thought his symptoms were constipation and his treatment was delayed, my mom had a fast heartbeat and her doctor gave her anti-anxiety pills but I insisted she get a stress test and afib was diagnosed. The same doctor didn't monitor her blood-thinner often enough according to the standard of care, and she suffered a mild stroke, she lived for 10 years after that, I was her caregiver. They all have passed away now, my mom most recently, she broke her pelvic muscle and had internal bleeding while on warfarin and the docs couldn't save her, she passed in December 2021, a few months before her 93 birthday. I had a dream about her last night and miss her terribly. Good luck in helping your neighbor.
BTW: Do doctors really miss symptoms in the elderly or ignore them intentionally because diagnosis and treatment cost Medicare money?
I am so sorry. Sounds like your family has not fared well with doctors. Personally, I have not had what I felt was a really good doctor in many years, and the people they are letting into the medical schools these days really worry me. I could tell you stories....
Many years ago my mum fell and broke her hip. She ended up in hospital where she died. They should have had her on some sort of medicine to stop blood clots, but they did not. She was not much older than I am now.
In answer to your question, I am not sure. I suppose some doctors may do that. Personally, once I know I have something terminal, I do not want to fight it. I want to go as pain free and as quickly as possible.
Are you addressing me since I was the one who suggested, since you're both about to become homeless, you room with your friend until he can find other accommodations?
When someone is in the late stages of a disease or organ failure, blood flow slows and produces a gray pallor. This includes:
late stage chronic kidney disease, or renal failure
late stage, terminal cancer
congestive heart failure
hemochromatosis, or iron storage disease
Some conditions or chronic diseases can produce pallor or a bluish skin color because of inadequate blood flow or lack of oxygen in the body. Some are emergencies and may require immediate medical treatment, while others can be treated, but aren’t immediately life-threatening:
anemia
aspiration pneumonia
chronic infections, such as pulmonary tuberculosis
heart disease
emphysema
chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)
Causes of paleness include:
lack of sun exposure
cold exposure and frostbite
heat exhaustion
shock, or decreased blood flow throughout the body
hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar
blockage in the artery of a limb
bloodstream infection, such as sepsis
anemia, which may be the result of:
rapid blood loss
nutritional deficiency
genetics
chronic conditions, including cancer
What is gray skin? Pallor, or pale skin, and grayish or blue skin are a result of a lack of oxygenated blood. Your blood carries oxygen around your body, and when this is disrupted, you see a discoloration. The disruption may be to the flow of blood itself, which produces paleness or a gray tint to skin tone.
Thank you. I saw my neighbour a short while ago. He looked much better today. The pallor is gone, and he has a little more colour in his face. I was so glad to see it!
Evicting an 80 year old out of a home he has rented for 30 years seems very hard hearted. but I guess it is all about the bucks.
It is positively draconian if you ask me. My neighbour thinks he is going to be able to live out of his van, which by the way runs only sporadically, but I know he will not be able to do that especially given his health issues. He said to me, "I asked my friends, 'look, can I at least come by once in a while and grab a bath?'" From the look on his face, no one said "sure." I told him if he wants to try this, he must purchase a gym membership where he can go any day to bathe, shave, etc. He was happy to hear that suggestion because he has never been homeless before. Believe me, he is in for an horrendous shock as to just how terrible and dangerous it is going to be. I was chatting with someone this morning, and I said I think everyone by some age, say 29, should be forced to be homeless for at least one month with no more assets or help than regular homeless have available to them. If that were done, I think it would change how people deal with one another in this world. In my experience, most people either want to look past the homeless and pretend they do not even see them, or they complain about the homeless and treat them as if they were not fully human. If everyone had to experience homeless as a mandatory part of being part of a society, society would be a lot different.
I was looking over my 17 page adhesion lease last night. It contains absolutely nothing in it for tenant protection. The entire lease is written for the benefit of the landlord only. Moreover, there is absolutely nothing in the lease that says we have to pay for AC maintenance, but this landlord made my neighbour pay roughly $300 to have his ducts cleaned last March. Landlord said, "you are the one who uses the HVAC not I. You have to pay for it." Landlord knows my neighbour's income is just very barely over $1K per month. He has to pay rent $750 (substantially less than my unit as his has not been updated in more than 30 years), electric, water/trash, and gas. I did not think that was right, but my neighbour is timid. He will not stand up to anyone he fears can cause trouble for him. It is a terrible way to live. Poor people often feel afraid to speak up for themselves, to assert their rights because of retaliation. I have seen the retaliation, so I know they are justified in their fears.
I had finally secured a property after 4 months of searching, and last Friday at the 11th hour, the landlord said he decided not to go through with the lease after the property failed inspection Thursday. I do not think it failed for anything major, but to do that at the 11th hour was shocking. I stopped looking for 6 weeks because they said they wanted me. I waited 2 weeks for his tenant to leave, and then it took another 4 weeks for him to get his paperwork processed and an inspection done, and then at the 11th hour just 3 days before I would have signed the lease, he reneged. He knows I have no where to go and that my voucher is about to expire. He knows I will be homeless, yet he did this after 6 weeks of waiting and working with him. That is LOW. I am almost completely out of time now. Both my neighbour and I are going to be homeless very soon.
There are a lot of really bad tenants in this world, but I am here to tell you, I have dealt with some true lowlife landlords, and these last two are prime examples of the breed.
Last edited by PhinneyWalker; 10-03-2022 at 12:14 PM..
Evicting an 80 year old out of a home he has rented for 30 years seems very hard hearted. but I guess it is all about the bucks.
Yes, those hard-hearted landlords; they're all about the bucks! It's a business; not a charity. I'm sure they're dealing with the economy just like the rest of us. They may have personal reasons for selling or converting the property, or this friend with the pallor might not have been a model tenant lately. Judgmental much? To prevent being evicted in your old age, buy a house. Now isn't the optimal time, but there has certainly been ample opportunity in the past 60 years. At that age, if impoverished, he should have gotten on a waiting list for more secure HUD senior housing. I know one lifelong tenant who's been evicted three times in the past five years; each time, he moans and groans about those evil landlords. With what he's spent on rent, he could have bought three houses by now! We all make our choices and reap the consequences. Victim mentality is quite tiresome.
It is positively draconian if you ask me. My neighbour thinks he is going to be able to live out of his van, which by the way runs only sporadically, but I know he will not be able to do that especially given his health issues. He said to me, "I asked my friends, 'look, can I at least come by once in a while and grab a bath?'" From the look on his face, no one said "sure." I told him if he wants to try this, he must purchase a gym membership where he can go any day to bathe, shave, etc. He was happy to hear that suggestion because he has never been homeless before. Believe me, he is in for a horrendous shock as to just how terrible and dangerous it is going to be. I was chatting with someone this morning, and I said I think everyone by some age, say 29, should be forced to be homeless for at least one month with no more assets or help than regular homeless have available to them. If that were done, I think it would change how people deal with one another in this world. In my experience, most people either want to look past the homeless and pretend they do not even see them, or they complain about the homeless and treat them as if they were not fully human. If everyone had to experience homeless as a mandatory part of being part of a society, society would be a lot different.
I was looking over my 17 page adhesion lease last night. It contains absolutely nothing in it for tenant protection. The entire lease is written for the benefit of the landlord only. Moreover, there is absolutely nothing in the lease that says we have to pay for AC maintenance, but this landlord made my neighbour pay roughly $300 to have his ducts cleaned last March. Landlord said, "you are the one who uses the HVAC not I. You have to pay for it." Landlord knows my neighbour's income is just very barely over $1K per month. He has to pay rent $750 (substantially less than my unit as his has not been updated in more than 30 years), electric, water/trash, and gas. I did not think that was right, but my neighbour is timid. He will not stand up to anyone he fears can cause trouble for him. It is a terrible way to live. Poor people often feel afraid to speak up for themselves, to assert their rights because of retaliation. I have seen the retaliation, so I know they are justified in their fears.
I had finally secured a property after 4 months of searching, and last Friday at the 11th hour, the landlord said he decided not to go through with the lease after the property failed inspection Thursday. I do not think it failed for anything major, but to do that at the 11th hour was shocking. I stopped looking for 6 weeks because they said they wanted me. I waited 2 weeks for his tenant to leave, and then it took another 4 weeks for him to get his paperwork processed and an inspection done, and then at the 11th hour just 3 days before I would have signed the lease, he reneged. He knows I have no where to go and that my voucher is about to expire. He knows I will be homeless, yet he did this after 6 weeks of waiting and working with him. That is LOW. I am almost completely out of time now. Both my neighbour and I are going to be homeless very soon.
There are a lot of really bad tenants in this world, but I am here to tell you, I have dealt with some true lowlife landlords, and these last two are prime examples of the breed.
I am so sorry. Holding good thoughts for both of you. As for the friends (bolded above) you'd be surprised how many "friends" and "family" will refuse a simple shower even when a person is down on their luck through no fault of their own.
I am so sorry. Holding good thoughts for both of you. As for the friends (bolded above) you'd be surprised how many "friends" and "family" will refuse a simple shower even when a person is down on their luck through no fault of their own.
My mum always used to say that you find out who your true friends are once you are down on your luck. So true....
I planned to let him bring a roll-a-way bed to my new place and set it up in the living room at night so that he would at least have a place to stay at night whilst he continued to look for a room, etc., but now the landlord backed out of the deal, so I cannot extend that offer to my neighbour. He told me he checked his Medicare, and he is able to get a gym membership (not sure where) for $10 per month. I told him that was a giveaway and to do it. If I can find something for myself before my voucher is forfeited, I will still make the same offer to him to bring a roll-away bed to my place. We are very different personalities and backgrounds, and I would not want to live with him, but I cannot stand by and let an 80 year old man sleep in a van.
For someone who values his privacy and his "own beeswax" you sure do tell thousands of strangers on the internet a lot of personal information about yourself and your neighbor.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhinneyWalker
^^^ You do not know me or my neighbour or our relationship, so mind your own beeswax.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhinneyWalker
It is positively draconian if you ask me. My neighbour thinks he is going to be able to live out of his van, which by the way runs only sporadically, but I know he will not be able to do that especially given his health issues. He said to me, "I asked my friends, 'look, can I at least come by once in a while and grab a bath?'" From the look on his face, no one said "sure." I told him if he wants to try this, he must purchase a gym membership where he can go any day to bathe, shave, etc. He was happy to hear that suggestion because he has never been homeless before. Believe me, he is in for an horrendous shock as to just how terrible and dangerous it is going to be. I was chatting with someone this morning, and I said I think everyone by some age, say 29, should be forced to be homeless for at least one month with no more assets or help than regular homeless have available to them. If that were done, I think it would change how people deal with one another in this world. In my experience, most people either want to look past the homeless and pretend they do not even see them, or they complain about the homeless and treat them as if they were not fully human. If everyone had to experience homeless as a mandatory part of being part of a society, society would be a lot different.
I was looking over my 17 page adhesion lease last night. It contains absolutely nothing in it for tenant protection. The entire lease is written for the benefit of the landlord only. Moreover, there is absolutely nothing in the lease that says we have to pay for AC maintenance, but this landlord made my neighbour pay roughly $300 to have his ducts cleaned last March. Landlord said, "you are the one who uses the HVAC not I. You have to pay for it." Landlord knows my neighbour's income is just very barely over $1K per month. He has to pay rent $750 (substantially less than my unit as his has not been updated in more than 30 years), electric, water/trash, and gas. I did not think that was right, but my neighbour is timid. He will not stand up to anyone he fears can cause trouble for him. It is a terrible way to live. Poor people often feel afraid to speak up for themselves, to assert their rights because of retaliation. I have seen the retaliation, so I know they are justified in their fears.
I had finally secured a property after 4 months of searching, and last Friday at the 11th hour, the landlord said he decided not to go through with the lease after the property failed inspection Thursday. I do not think it failed for anything major, but to do that at the 11th hour was shocking. I stopped looking for 6 weeks because they said they wanted me. I waited 2 weeks for his tenant to leave, and then it took another 4 weeks for him to get his paperwork processed and an inspection done, and then at the 11th hour just 3 days before I would have signed the lease, he reneged. He knows I have no where to go and that my voucher is about to expire. He knows I will be homeless, yet he did this after 6 weeks of waiting and working with him. That is LOW. I am almost completely out of time now. Both my neighbour and I are going to be homeless very soon.
There are a lot of really bad tenants in this world, but I am here to tell you, I have dealt with some true lowlife landlords, and these last two are prime examples of the breed.
I am so sorry. Sounds like your family has not fared well with doctors. Personally, I have not had what I felt was a really good doctor in many years, and the people they are letting into the medical schools these days really worry me. I could tell you stories....
Many years ago my mum fell and broke her hip. She ended up in hospital where she died. They should have had her on some sort of medicine to stop blood clots, but they did not. She was not much older than I am now.
In answer to your question, I am not sure. I suppose some doctors may do that. Personally, once I know I have something terminal, I do not want to fight it. I want to go as pain free and as quickly as possible.
My mom was in excrutiating pain with a rotator cuff injury, whenever she moved her arm even a quarter of an inch you could hear a snapping sound and she would cry out in pain asking me why she had to suffer so much. The doctors wouldn't give her pain pills saying she would get addicted (in her 90's???), even her physical therapist thought it was horrible she was suffering like that. The last two weeks of her life she was pain free on morphine. I complained to the hospice worker saying now that her life is ending the docs give her pain drugs, but she had to suffer needlessly at home for years without pain relief. The hospice worker said that's because health care in the U.S. stinks, and the elderly can't get pain relief because the doctors are afraid of lawsuits. I don't have a primary care doctor, I stay as far away from them as I can, they always want to push drugs on you with bad side effects. I go to Urgent Care if I get sick, no drug pushing there, you are in and out. Sorry about your mom.
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It's a business; not a charity. I'm sure they're dealing with the economy just like the rest of us. They may have personal reasons for selling or converting the property, or this friend with the pallor might not have been a model tenant lately. Judgmental much? To prevent being evicted in your old age, buy a house. Now isn't the optimal time, but there has certainly been ample opportunity in the past 60 years. At that age, if impoverished, he should have gotten on a waiting list for more secure HUD senior housing. I know one lifelong tenant who's been evicted three times in the past five years; each time, he moans and groans about those evil landlords. With what he's spent on rent, he could have bought three houses by now! We all make our choices and reap the consequences. Victim mentality is quite tiresome.
