How to address noise sensitivity, is it health related ? (tibula, medical, vibration)
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Unfortunately the only "treatment" for misophonia (that I know of) is working with a therapist to 1) come up with coping strategies, and 2) addressing the underlying anxiety or anger.
Don't say this to your son because it's an unkind way of saying it (a good therapist could phrase it in a healthier way) but at a certain point if you really want to stop these hyper-activated emotional responses to sound you need to just get over yourself... if you know what I mean. Letting normal sounds that are not personally directed to you, but are just normal sounds, get to you so badly is much more about your own repressed anger or anxiety and not about the actual sound. If you eliminate one triggering sound, you'll just find another.
There's a saying, "You can try to cover the world in leather, or you can put on a pair of shoes."
I'll tell you what my own annoying sounds are. #1 People clearing their throats of phlegm. (This is the absolute worst one for me.) #2 The sound of popcorn or chips being eaten in movie theaters. (Seriously I just can't stand to be in earshot of it. I have to move.) #3 People who eat loudly or with open mouths. #4 The slap slap slap of rubber flip flops.
I could come up with quite a few more, but these are the ones that get to me most consistently. They make me weirdly mad.
Your son's triggers are little atypical though, because most of the time the sounds that bother people with misophonia are human made sounds and the anger/anxiety responses are directed toward other people. Your son's triggering sounds are mostly inorganic, less people-made noises, more "mechanical" I guess you could call them. But his emotional struggle with those sounds sounds a lot like misophonia. Also that he's hyper aware of sounds late at night/wee hours of the morning makes it sounds like he has an anxiety related sleeping disorder too.
Most therapists that I've read on this issue say first, where you can eliminate or avoid the annoying noise, do that for the short term. Where you can mitigate it (with white noise or headphones or whatever) do that. While you're doing those things, understand the problem is your reaction and not the sound itself, and work in therapy on what might actually be driving those emotions because you'll never be able to control external noises very well, and it can create a distance between you and others, making you more isolated and more anxious.
For me it comes and goes, but one thing I know is the more I think about it and the more I make note of every single offending sound, the worse it gets, the more annoyed I get. I still have to leave rooms occasionally, and my family understands why and that this is a quirk of mine. But most of the time I can chill out and keep it in perspective.
Try a fan for white noise, or a HEPA machine. You don't have to wear those. I don't see any reason for this to be turned into a medical disorder just because the same sounds don't bother other people in the apartment. Maybe they can't hear them as well.
Once you get an "attitude" about certain kinds of noises, it's very hard to change that. He may get so angry about people and their car noises - I hate them too - that it becomes impossible to ignore them.
My solution was a white noise machine. I bought one that allows you to change the particular kind of noise it makes - rainfall, ocean waves, etc.etc., and it has made a big difference in the one place where we had a lot of traffic noise. Sitting right by your bed is the best place for these machines - they overpower any other noises from outside.
I wonder if he actually has a medical issue or if it is just one of those things that can't be diagnosed. I have very dominant hearing where I can hear certain sounds louder than other people can. This is things like you're describing with a car alarm going off outside.
My daughter has a medical issue. She had an infection in her ear canal that infected other parts of her inner ear, now a bone or something that connects to her ear is dead. This causes her to have super sensitive hearing. It's very hard being in a room with her sometimes because we will be talking quietly, all of a sudden she's freaking out because of noises she's hearing from us, saying we're being loud.
She also talks very loudly saying she can not hear herself speaking.
I wish I knew exactly what diagnosis she has. I don't remember if they did a CT or head MRI to diagnose it. She needs a shunt in her head to drain excess fluid.
My reply isn't that helpful except it could be something medically wrong with him. Take him to an ENT, go to a university hospital if you're not satisfied with a local one.
I use ear plugs similar to these. The ones to look for are a very soft bullet shape foam. Once properly inserted they are comfortable to sleep while wearing. They don’t block all noise but do reduce the impact of noise.
A quality white noise machine will have a selection of types of noise sounds based upon the user’s preference. So,e white noise machine sounds are more annoying than the problem noise. Finding the right pitch can help as well as having a volume control. Cheap white noise machines just won’t do.
I have a partial hearing loss and know all too well that certain sounds are now either annoying or painful. Definitely get a hearing test. Hearing centers have a wide variety of ear plugs available for various purposes. Some are even custom molded to properly fit the ears comfortably.
As for the noise he is hearing, have you considered staying in his room over night to see if you can hear the same noises? Has he ever been able to describe the noise? Homes and apartments can develop some unusual noises related to plumbing or AC. Neighbors or rodents can also be a source of these noises.
Another issue is I have autism and PTSD. Certain sounds can effect me negatively. Thanks to my finally being diagnosed with both conditions at age 42 I can more easily control my reactions to these sounds knowing the issue is with myself.
Humans vary a lot in how sensitive they are to noise.....some being very sensitive and irritated by what others might not even notice.
For whatever reason, I am pretty sensitive to various "irritating" sounds.
Me too. When I am king, all the "normies" who aren't bothered by annoying sounds like talking gas pumps will be deemed to have a disorder. What shall I call it? How about Obnoxious Audio Indifference Disorder?
We asked about this to his PCP. He did not give any clue related to clinical evaluation/direction. We went to hearring test at COSTCO. We explained the situation to them to figure out, whether my son hear anything outside normal frequencies. They confirmed that he has healthy hearing.
This situation started few years ago after his graduation from college. He picked General Anexity disorder(GAD) from college living. He is undergoing therapy. He discussed with his therapist. She suggested about white noise device, app. He tried earplugs. He complained that cause headaches.
He bought active noise cancelling headphones that has wireless in headphones. He was not able to wear this during sleep.
We are living in apartment with common parking . He hear about car alarm going off at 3 am , 5am . Engine ravving far away from our house. Some folks blast music by parking in front of our apartment (3am , 5 am ). He hear about vibrations from HVAC unit.
In his room folks live above us making noise in a room that is right above his bedroom.
@Jessie Mitchell
It looks like misophonia fits his issues. I did not find any clinical direction for it. I am not sure , why his PCP/hearing tester pointed us to misophonia.
I gave some additional update.
Let me know, whether you can point us in right direction.
Thanks.
Ah sorry but complaining about loud music, or car alarms going off at 3am to 5am is considered abnormal? not in my book! Id find somewhere else to live!
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