They cant cure it (feet, medical, ears, feeling)

[twixcookie]

Originally Posted by ino

WHOAH...!!! Stop this train, I'm jumping on board, but don't worry, I will be jumping off again at the next stop 'cos I don't think I like where it's going.

Firstly, don't think me insensitive or disrespectful or whatever and have been lurking in the background for a while, but got to say that this post had me on the floor laughing...WHY?...I'm glad you asked...because now you are talking my language!

"Swimming against the tide"....yep, had that one before, [first laugh].
"Isn't something going to get us eventually"....yep, had that one before also, [second laugh].
"Working 'till you croak at work"....yep, had that one too, [third laugh].

I have a few of my own as well!!

I am really glad I found this post of yours as it has cheered me up no end knowing that someone else has had similar thoughts.

I doubt that there would be anyone on this planet who has not had one/several, or all the same thoughts at some stage in their lives, (of course I stand to be corrected on that), as that pretty much sums up what I have thought at times in the past, and no doubt will think it again sometime in the future, depending on the mood I am in.

OK, I'm married and have 3 kids, (well they are adults now), and I don't have any health problems, (well none that I am aware of.....yet!), so I can't speak about physical health, but I certainly can talk about mental health. Some of us are good with the brain we were given and some of us are not so good with it, but I am a fighter, the world can throw as much $hit as it likes at me and I will take up the challenge. I'm only here for a short time so by hell I may as well make it worth my while and kick back, at least I will go down fighting. There's only two things that I can call my own, (1) my morals, and (2) my principals, and there isn't anyone alive that can take them away from me.

As I am a member of the human race, one of my phylosophies, (spelling?, and can't be bothered to look it up), is that when I have some 'not so good thoughts', I immediately say to myself..."If I have this thought then there must be others who have, or who have had, similar thoughts" after all, the world is a rather large place and why should I think I have a monopoly on these thoughts. Then I follow that up with..."well if they can handle it then I've just got to find a way to handle it for myself". You see, I consider it one of the pitfalls of being a member of 'that' human race, if I was an insect I would never need to think about anything, just pupate, develop, pro-create...and then kark it.

As I said, I don't have any health issues at the moment so I can't comment there, (so right there you can tell me to shut up, but remember, you did put the post up, and to me that's like waving the old proverbial red flag to a bull), and that's where I laughed at your post because I know that one day things WILL be different, but hey, that's life I guess, $hit happens. I guess you could say I am a fatalist, and you would be right as well, and all I can do is the best I can with what I've got. My dear old ma in law kicked it about 3 years ago with Motor Neuron, (spelling again but what the hell), and I used to say to her that one day we will all, (figuratively speaking), get something it's just a matter of WHAT we are going to get, and WHEN we are going to get it? What's that saying from the movie...life is like a box of chocolates? For some reason, that saying has stuck in my head since I saw that film and do you know why...again, I am glad you asked...because that is just the facts of the matter to me.

As I have aged I tell myself that everything I ingest is poison, due to circumstances beyond my control, so I have made a decision to try to change my eating habits, look at alternatives to pharma medications, and try to keep 'Mr Life Threatening Illness' away for as long as I can. But I am under no illusion here that....ONE DAY???

Look, sorry for waffling on, but the way I see it is that apart from the health issue, your thoughts are the same as mine are at times, and before you fire a rocket up me, yes, it may be easy for me to say as I still have good health, BUT....I would like to think that I am ready for that final challenge, when it comes, but by the beegeebers I will go down fighting, and that for me is a great comfort!

OK, I'm jumping off now.

Thanks...it's nice to know some understood what I was saying, and that I wasn't asking for healthy living tips!

[twixcookie]

Originally Posted by NewAgeRedneck

twixcookie wrote:

But I won't kill myself, too chicken.
This about letting nature take its course and not interferring and trying to live forever.

OK, since you have no plans to go the suicide route, that implies that you are choosing to live until that inevitable day arrives. Since you are choosing to live, why not make your days, high quality HAPPY days? That's different than trying to live forever.

When you wake up and realize that you have another day to live, notice that it's not a good thing OR a bad thing. It just is! Ask youself, how can I experience happiness today? Then be silent and LOOK for an answer to arise from the silence.

Interesting view point.

[twixcookie]

Originally Posted by lola8822

you only get one life........why not live as healthy and happy as you can? Otherwise what's the point?

Is there a point?
Aren't we just hatched at birth to find a way to survive and we don't live forever? Isn't life about struggling to survive? We aren't much different biologically than animals.

[jamesandveybe]

I appreciate your post. I don't trust Doctors unless it's to confirm something I already sought out myself.

I simply exercise daily, cut out obviously extravagent foods, drop the sodas and eat what I want, when I want. If I cannot enjoy things I eat on a daily basis and enjoy life in general without an expensive pill (or pill with bad side effects) to keep me alive or away from deadly disease, just let me go. There are no bills in heaven and the Son always shines.

[SifuPhil]

Originally Posted by twixcookie

Is there a point?

I'm sure there is, but as you've been constantly reminding us, we keep missing it.

[Towhee]

I believe I see the 'missing link', I think it is called 'faith'. If I had not had faith in God, and in a wonderful eternity for all that love Him and do His will, I would have felt as you do. Before I became a Christian, I felt as though there was no purpose to my life. I felt as though I had no friends. I spent a lot of my youth feeling sorry for myself, and sometimes crying myself sick. As soon as I believed and obeyed the gospel, my life was turned around. Oh, there have been times, because of my ill health, and because of watching my husband deteriorate mentally and physically, that I have prayed for my life to end. I have passed that stage, and hope it does not return. I now know I have lots of dear friends. I know I have a purpose in life.
I will live it to the best of my abilities, despite the pain, fatigue, and disappointments. I hope to make life easier for those around me. This life is not all about 'me', you know . I do not think there is one soul who does not have times of trouble. It is how you react to those times that make you what you are. You can be like iron in the smelter, and become stronger, or you can let life distroy you, like a piece of coal..be turned to ashes. It is your choice.
I never allowed myself to dwell on the 'poor me' attitude.

As I said before, I had no insurance in my younger days. I had serious medical problems that demanded surgeries. Our bills accumulated to where we could not pay them. We took bankrupcy. Since our bills were due to my medical expenses, the judge was very understanding. He was not understanding to all those who had went deeply in debt on 'things', like boats, and fancy cars etc.

There are ways you can get help with your medical expenses. Some have been pointed out by other posters. I am saying you may need to declare bankrupcy. You know if that may be an option. If you haven't spent your income foolishly, the judge will take your circumstances into consideration.

May God bless you, and help you find the answer to your problems.

Marian

[ino]

Originally Posted by twixcookie

Thanks...it's nice to know some understood what I was saying, and that I wasn't asking for healthy living tips!

I want to just add a final not here twix, if you don't mind. Some years ago I had a choking episode, on a stupid damn lolly, while driving my truck and went through several phases from normal coughing to dislodge it and get air, to more serious attempts to clear the blockage, to hanging my head out the window and trying to forcefully inhale while my face was in the wind, to panic, to realizing that this MAY JUST BE the end if I could not get air in soon, to imagining that I may never see my wife or my kids again, and eventually to the phase where I was at peace and ready for the inevitable when it came. I prepared myself so that I could just steer the vehicle off the road, at the last possible second, so that I would just end up in the bush, so no other traffic was involved.

However, it was not meant to be I guess and I think this is where I developed the mental attitude of being a fatalist...what is meant to be, is just meant to be, but obviously my time was not going to be then. I am not religious or anything of that nature, but as I was so at peace at that late stage I understood that death may not be as traumatic as I had always believed so now I do what I think is right with my eating habits and self medication and am of the belief that I am, (hopefully!!), in a better or more comfortable position to handle whatever comes my way, and give it a kick in the stomach if, and when, I can.

I have often remarked to my family, since then, that the lack of oxygen to my brain for that length of time, has stuffed my brain. Joking, but I use that as an excuse now anyway.

On reflection, I think I would clasify this as MY 'near death experience' if you like, as I went through several phases before finally accepting the inevitable, and getting some WEIRD sense of calmness, and I do mean weird, as I am a practical man, not some airy fairy head in the clouds, (or in the sand) type person, everything is black or white, no grey areas to me. Don't ask me to explain it, 'cos I can't!

Again, I only wanted to relate this story to you to let you know why I have the attitude to life that I now have. I hope you understand what I am trying to say here.

I suppose you have heard this, but this pretty much sums up my mind set since this event;

The moon may kiss the stars on high,
The sun may kiss the bright blue sky,
The dewdrops may kiss the grass,
But you, my friend, may kiss my a.....!

I AM NOT REFERRING TO YOU OF COURSE , I just substitute the word 'friend' and replace it with 'LIFE IN GENERAL' and what it throws at me, by that last remark.

Cheers.

[twixcookie]

Originally Posted by Marianinark

I believe I see the 'missing link', I think it is called 'faith'. If I had not had faith in God, and in a wonderful eternity for all that love Him and do His will, I would have felt as you do. Before I became a Christian, I felt as though there was no purpose to my life. I felt as though I had no friends. I spent a lot of my youth feeling sorry for myself, and sometimes crying myself sick. As soon as I believed and obeyed the gospel, my life was turned around. Oh, there have been times, because of my ill health, and because of watching my husband deteriorate mentally and physically, that I have prayed for my life to end. I have passed that stage, and hope it does not return. I now know I have lots of dear friends. I know I have a purpose in life.
I will live it to the best of my abilities, despite the pain, fatigue, and disappointments. I hope to make life easier for those around me. This life is not all about 'me', you know . I do not think there is one soul who does not have times of trouble. It is how you react to those times that make you what you are. You can be like iron in the smelter, and become stronger, or you can let life distroy you, like a piece of coal..be turned to ashes. It is your choice.
I never allowed myself to dwell on the 'poor me' attitude.

As I said before, I had no insurance in my younger days. I had serious medical problems that demanded surgeries. Our bills accumulated to where we could not pay them. We took bankrupcy. Since our bills were due to my medical expenses, the judge was very understanding. He was not understanding to all those who had went deeply in debt on 'things', like boats, and fancy cars etc.

There are ways you can get help with your medical expenses. Some have been pointed out by other posters. I am saying you may need to declare bankrupcy. You know if that may be an option. If you haven't spent your income foolishly, the judge will take your circumstances into consideration.

May God bless you, and help you find the answer to your problems.

Marian

Bankruptcy laws have changed a lot, and they affect you a lot more than they did a few years back. I would advise you to read all about it, because many employers won't touch you if you have filed bankruptcy. Also, you have 8 years before you can file again, and unless you can keep yourself from spiraling down into debt again, you're going to have 8 years of building up the same thing. I plan on paying back every cent I owe. I made a dent in a few bills, finally paid a doctor off which took me 3 years.

I am a bit wiser than to have squandered my income. The assumption is that anyone in debt has not been responsible.

I am not religious. It would make no sense to think there is a God(s) who would give me problems so I could pray to him to take them away. I don't mean this to insult your beliefs.

I admire your strength and courage and I am sure you did the best you could with the circumstances. Thanks for the good words.

[twixcookie]

Originally Posted by ino

I want to just add a final not here twix, if you don't mind. Some years ago I had a choking episode, on a stupid damn lolly, while driving my truck and went through several phases from normal coughing to dislodge it and get air, to more serious attempts to clear the blockage, to hanging my head out the window and trying to forcefully inhale while my face was in the wind, to panic, to realizing that this MAY JUST BE the end if I could not get air in soon, to imagining that I may never see my wife or my kids again, and eventually to the phase where I was at peace and ready for the inevitable when it came. I prepared myself so that I could just steer the vehicle off the road, at the last possible second, so that I would just end up in the bush, so no other traffic was involved.

However, it was not meant to be I guess and I think this is where I developed the mental attitude of being a fatalist...what is meant to be, is just meant to be, but obviously my time was not going to be then. I am not religious or anything of that nature, but as I was so at peace at that late stage I understood that death may not be as traumatic as I had always believed so now I do what I think is right with my eating habits and self medication and am of the belief that I am, (hopefully!!), in a better or more comfortable position to handle whatever comes my way, and give it a kick in the stomach if, and when, I can.

I have often remarked to my family, since then, that the lack of oxygen to my brain for that length of time, has stuffed my brain. Joking, but I use that as an excuse now anyway.

On reflection, I think I would clasify this as MY 'near death experience' if you like, as I went through several phases before finally accepting the inevitable, and getting some WEIRD sense of calmness, and I do mean weird, as I am a practical man, not some airy fairy head in the clouds, (or in the sand) type person, everything is black or white, no grey areas to me. Don't ask me to explain it, 'cos I can't!

Again, I only wanted to relate this story to you to let you know why I have the attitude to life that I now have. I hope you understand what I am trying to say here.

I suppose you have heard this, but this pretty much sums up my mind set since this event;

The moon may kiss the stars on high,
The sun may kiss the bright blue sky,
The dewdrops may kiss the grass,
But you, my friend, may kiss my a.....!

I AM NOT REFERRING TO YOU OF COURSE , I just substitute the word 'friend' and replace it with 'LIFE IN GENERAL' and what it throws at me, by that last remark.

Cheers.

Wow, that is some account. You are really strong. I once went through an operation, actually twice, to see if I had breast cancer. I was fine, but it was rough sitting on the fence until the pathology report came back okay.
I thought, I am on the fence, either I could be totally okay, or fighting cancer.
I guess now, I have a different outlook. I feel there isn't much to look forward to in growing old. Not everyone's life, but mine. I didn't get a good set of cards to work with. Now, I have worked hard, and I am not blaming everything outside of me....and that is where the pain lies...that I tried so very very hard to make life better, and kept pulling myself back up each time things went bad, and kept moving on.

I once was in a car accident during a blizzard, and I sort of went through the same resignation that this might be my time to go, and just closed my eyes and braced myself.
I was fine, not hurt, but you know, it would have solved a lot of the problems for me. I would never try to off myself, far too chicken to do that. But when it was happening, the idea that my problems were over went through my mind.

Thanks for sharing. I am enjoying reading from some here, really fine individuals writing on here. Different viewpoints, but deep stuff.

[ino]

[Now, I have worked hard...etc etc etc],

Well twix, sorry to say this, but yet again you've raised a smile on my face, as...ditto...See, it's amazing how some minds think alike in some respects. Again, you are talking my language. I'm just like you, see, I can only do, with the cards I was dealt with! Unfortunately, (or not I s'pose), there are probably heaps of others that think similar, or have had in the past, or will most likely do so in the future...not just you, but haven't found them yet, but alas, you have brought one out of the woodwork...me. I don't know if you understand this, but in a wacky sense you have helped me as well I suppose, HEY, and probably others as well in some way. This is where forums such as this can be a really good experience, (although I think I sort of invited myself on this forum site, and probably was rather rude to do that as I don't live in the US, but I guess someone will tell me to go if I'm not supposed to be here). There is nothing quite like good communications with others who are willing to put their hearts on their sleeves, the down side of course is that all and sundry can see it, but who cares, it's not like I'm going to sit at the same table as you to eat lunch or anything.

That's enough, I think it's time I blended back into the shadows again, and I'll pretend nobody has noticed I've been here.

Hoo Roo, and Best of Luck.