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Old 12-03-2008, 05:10 PM
 
6,351 posts, read 9,538,455 times
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Sorry but...this is embarrassing yet I still need to vent, so let me vent as anonymously as I can, i.e., on a message board.


I am "lucky"...I work at one of the few restuarants that offer it's employees healthcare. Well, last month, I, for the first time in my five years of working there, decided to use it and see a doctor....let me explain, we are on a more localized plan/company so, alas, the choices of doctors are slim.

Well, last month, I go in, and sit down, and low and behold, what do I find out?. They want me to see a woman doctor. I say "ohhh... you know, I would much rather see a male doctor, thank you..." and what did the receptionist do? Folded her arms and hissed "I beg your pardon?" at which point I said "I just have...male issues and would like to see a male doctor."

So I rescheduled. Two weeks ago...same place, same receptionist, and I get in, see the nurse...and a FEMALE doctor came in the room! I said "ohh...hi. Yahh I was supposed to be seeing a male doctor." And she looked at me like I just announced that I kryptonite for lunch. "Why would you think a male doctor would be better? I can assure you" HER EXACT WORDS HERE, "I can assure you that I have had plenty of education and experience." I sighed and said, "well...I would just feel more comfortable with a male doctor". She SNORTED and told me to make ANOTHER appointment which was today...
...and I get there, and guess what? THE MALE DOCTOR WAS ON VACATION. wtf! So, I relented, and saw a female doctor, a different female doctor than the first one, and when it finally got around to the issue, she said fine and went to look at it and I said, as politely as I could "ohh...isn't there suppose to be someone else in the room with you?" She huffed, and left the room, and came back with a nurse...A WOMAN NURSE, and began the examination.

Sorry but, to ask the obvious...IF A WOMAN REQUESTED A FEMALE DOCTOR FOR A FEMALE ISSUE, WOULD SHE GO THROUGH THE SAME RUN AROUND THAT I WENT THROUGH?!?! I think not. To be given the run-around the way I was and even have the doctors not understand that certain things a man is not comfortable talking to some random women about is crazy. Aren't they suppose to be "professionals?" I am not sexist, and if it was a broken bone, fever etc, sure, I would be fine with a female doctor...but something of a male nature?....

The issue...WARNING! I AM GOING TO BE AS SCIENTIFIC AND MATURE AND AS "NOT GROSS" AS I CAN, BUT I WILL SAY THE ISSUE IN QUESTION...IF YOU'RE SQUIMISH, PLEASE DON'T READ ANY FURTHER
















The issue was that, while I have never been sexually active ever (yes, I'm a virgin at 26) I have recently had what look like soars appear on my penis. It doesn't hurt, doesn't ooze, but still, if ever there was something to see a doctor about, that's it! Now do you understand why I wanted a male doctor?

Ohh..and she said it's not herpes (thank god...I would hate to have an STD if I never even got to have the "S") and not worts, and she doens't know what it was and she gave me an anti-inflamatory and told me to come back and see her again if it didn't go away. Also...my own health might of been kind of compromised because I was so embarrassed in seeing a female doctor about this that I did not mention that it started after I was done...how can I put this?...handling things on my own in the shower and it might be some kind of chafing. And if it's still there after the ointment is used up, she knows a good urologist who takes my healthcare plan...and her name is "Dr. SUSAN something-or-rather"

She said it as if to spite me! I hate going to the doctor anyway, and am a pretty healthy guy so I usually don't need one and avoid them like the plague, but why do I have to be tormented like this? Would a woman who didn't want a male doctor to give her a pap-smear be treated this way?

Needles to say, I had to have a shot of Jack as soon as I got home today.

Last edited by victorianpunk; 12-03-2008 at 06:45 PM..
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Old 12-03-2008, 06:13 PM
 
822 posts, read 2,870,058 times
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Hey, if you ask for a male doctor, your wish should be respected. At first I thought you were a female and I was confused as to why you wanted a male to such a degree (still feeling that your request should be respected) but if you are a male and it's of a very personal nature, then I think your request should be honored. My young daughter would hyperventilate at the idea of a male doctor, so there was *no way* I would proceed with an appointment, no matter what. In your case, I could see that they might mention issues of availability and logistics, but they shouldn't roll their eyes and dismiss your concerns.
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Old 12-03-2008, 06:28 PM
 
Location: Moon Over Palmettos
5,978 posts, read 18,835,912 times
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I thought the same thing (about you being a woman) but have you checked the list of doctors in the practice? If there was only one male doctor (who then happened to be on vacation) then your choices are to wait till he is available or to see whoever is available. When I schedule appointments, I ask for a particular physician by name, even go as far as checking their date of graduation and school graduated from (I don't want very young doctors). That way, I'm sure I'm getting who I asked for. Other thing is, you don't have to take her recommendation to see a female urologist. If I were you, I would go see a male urologist of my choice, in a different practice, unless the practice you called is already a urology office, and the only one in your area. Remember that a urologist is to a man as a gyn is to a woman. Regardless of this, I agree that they shouldn't have reacted that way. Perhaps, they did really take it as an affront to their experience, even if you didn't mean it that way. My husband is the same way...he'd be totally uncomfortable having a lady stick her finger up his behind during a physical. I don't have as much of a hard time with it...my ob/gyn who delivered both my children was an elder gentleman, and my primary physician, an internist is male. My breast surgeon is male. But my gyn now is female.
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Old 12-03-2008, 06:30 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 32,586,577 times
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I have worked in medical offices for years and have never been that way. If a patient req a male/female dr, that is what they get. Now.. if you were a new patient, there may have been a wait for the male dr... could have been more popular, whatever the case may be.

You should have never been treated that way. I would imagine, though, that they would treat all patients that way, not just a male.

As for your problem... hmm.

I am thinking... thinking... could be from the friction. You may have somehow wore on the skin causing like what she said, inflammation. Looking like raises on the skin. Irritation fro the friction. Sensitive skin not used to that kind of thing on a regular basis...

I don't have one of those things, so I do not know. I do know that say, if your skin rubs together, like a persons legs, whatever... this can happen.

Was there any chemical on your hands that may have given you some sort of reaction?
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Old 12-03-2008, 06:43 PM
 
6,351 posts, read 9,538,455 times
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Quote:
I am thinking... thinking... could be from the friction. You may have somehow wore on the skin causing like what she said, inflammation. Looking like raises on the skin. Irritation fro the friction. Sensitive skin not used to that kind of thing on a regular basis...
Sure, rub it in that I'm a virgin!

Joking....

Quote:
I don't have one of those things, so I do not know. I do know that say, if your skin rubs together, like a persons legs, whatever... this can happen.

Was there any chemical on your hands that may have given you some sort of reaction?

yahhh...soap. But anyway, I think it will be okay, I hope anyway. I think it might of been just irritation. I'll just use the ointment and if it doesn't work, suck it up. hit a shot of Jack, and see the damn female urologist...
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Old 12-03-2008, 07:37 PM
 
Location: chicagoland
1,636 posts, read 4,056,931 times
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I'm so sorry that you had to go through that! Especially when you were in a seriously vulnerable state! I am a woman and HAVE gone through that before. I always ask for someone who DOES NOT have an accent. It sounds rude, but I NEVER say it in front of the doctor. I ask the reception. But they still send in the same Indian Doctor who not only can I NOT understand, buy she looks in her blackberry and perscribes my what drugs go with the sypmtoms. It doesn't matter what your reasoning is, sexist, racist, you should be able to see the doctor you want and are comfortable with. You should report it. Or forget about it. But you definitely CAN take it further. They denied you the care you deserve, the doctor broke her oath. That is bull.

As for the problem, try to stay away from chemicals. The urithra is very sensitive....I wouldn't rub antibiotics on it unless they tell you exactly what bacterial infection you have! Did they just assume? Antibiotics just make you succeptable to NEW infections since it kills the good along with the bad bacteria.

Good luck and don't have too much fun
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Old 12-04-2008, 06:26 AM
 
Location: In the real world!
2,178 posts, read 9,211,923 times
Reputation: 2841
I think it is cut and dried.... If you requested to see a male doctor, they should have provided you with one. We ALL need doctors we are comfortable with.

I have found that (I am female) being seen by a woman doctor, they are better understanding of the problems a woman has and I am sure it would be the same of a male doctor better understanding a guys problem. I think they were rude to you!
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Old 12-04-2008, 12:54 PM
 
2,839 posts, read 9,631,738 times
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That is awful! If the doctor you saw was the owner of the practice, I'd call the insurance company and file a complaint. If she wasn't, I'd complain to the owner.

I worked in a dental office, and we had one male dentist and one female. When patients requested "a man" or "a woman" (and some did), I simply scheduled with the appropriate dentist. If that dentist was unavailable on the day/time they wanted to come in (the man came in earlier and the woman stayed later), I just advised them that they could either see the other or pick another time. No big deal.

You should be able to see the doctor you want for whatever reason you want. If it's because you only like doctors who have their eyebrows pierced, then so be it!
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Old 12-04-2008, 01:41 PM
 
Location: in a house
3,574 posts, read 13,869,552 times
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Welcome to our world......

Anyway, did the doc culture any of the lesions? Short of warts, any painless ulcer on "private parts" needs a culture, further examination, blood tests, and a definite referral. It can be nothing or it can be syphilis, cancer, balanitis (inflammation of the glan_ pen_s) - get over it and follow up!!!!!! (BTW - I'm in healthcare)
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Old 12-04-2008, 06:05 PM
 
6,351 posts, read 9,538,455 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beanandpumpkin View Post
That is awful! If the doctor you saw was the owner of the practice, I'd call the insurance company and file a complaint. If she wasn't, I'd complain to the owner.

I worked in a dental office, and we had one male dentist and one female. When patients requested "a man" or "a woman" (and some did), I simply scheduled with the appropriate dentist. If that dentist was unavailable on the day/time they wanted to come in (the man came in earlier and the woman stayed later), I just advised them that they could either see the other or pick another time. No big deal.

You should be able to see the doctor you want for whatever reason you want. If it's because you only like doctors who have their eyebrows pierced, then so be it!

Okay...a male dentist? Checking the nether regions , I can understand wanting a same sex doctor...but checking my incisors? Who cares!
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