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My last cycle was in May of 2009. I thought I would be all done soon...looking at a full year since my last. Now here I am having a menstral cycle again. 2011? Arrgh!
Look into homeopathic medicine together. Talk about it very seriously.
Take time. Does she really need the antidepressants? Did she see a psychiatrist for them? She should be in therapy while taking them and you too maybe.
Also, surprise her with spa gifts, nice facials and creams for her face (maybe a face peel).
Can HRT start if she goes off the antidepressants?
Hold her hand and if she doesn't want to, open up talks.
It sounds to me like your wife is going through a lot more than menopause. You say she's always been a "head turner" Hmmm? I think she's having trouble accepting that she's getting older and she feels she's lost her youth and beauty. Even though you tell her she's your lover and she's still your beautiful woman, she doesn't feel that way about herself. She is going through a whole range of emotions dealing with being middle-aged, and menopause sure as h*ll doesn't help matters. Hormones just intensify these thoughts and physical changes.
Menopause typically starts around 50 years of age. Regardless of menopause, turning 50 is looked at by many as that horrible "hump age" where people realize that their youth is gone and they only focus on the downhill side of getting older (being old and wrinkled) Yes, some people breeze through the aging process, but some people despise it with a passion. I think depression is totally normal for people who have a hard time during this time of their lives. It is good that she is on antidepressants. Maybe she needs a different or stronger prescription...
We all deal differently with aging, and these mid-life crisis can happen when you're 30, 40, 50 or beyond and men certainly go through this too. You often see men leave their spouse of 30 years to have a 20 or 30ish woman hanging off their arms, because it makes them feel young again... No one wants to get/look older or feel that they have done all that there is to do in life, but get old.
I think your wife is just going to need time (and thankfully your patience), to accept that she is getting older and that there is nothing she can do but accept it. I don't know how long this will take, but I truly think this is what she's going through.
How about trying a romantic approach with a weekend away somewhere? Take her out for a walk and a nice romantic meal, then sit her down afterwards, tell her you need to talk and have a heart to heart TALK.
Tell her how you feel, tell her she is beautiful to you, even if she doesn't feel that way, and that you miss the affection that you once had. Encourage her to cuddle and kiss, but I suggest not even trying to have sex. When you're not feeling pretty or sexy, having someone wanting sex makes you feel like you are being used. You don't want her feeling that you only took her away so that having sex was your ultimate goal or intended point of this get-away. Communicating, and opening up to each other is the point.
Sex can absolutely be wonderful during and after menopause, but right now, I think she just needs some time to sort her feelings out about getting older first.
I hope you both get through this with flying colours. Until then, just hang in there.
Of course, I've heard of how most women who go through it (especially those who do not take replacement therapy) are NEVER quite the same. Just get ready to become a great fisherman ONLY. I'd forget past the great lover/sex part with her- LOL!
Find comfort in being grandpa and grandma.
There have been debates over hormone replacements. I didn't do those, I got through it...there is another side. I agree w/ the poster that said you've described lots of symptoms...The sex really wasn't an issue for me. The night sweats and heat flashes can be quite overwhelming...Hard to describe...almost like what a brain freeze would feel like going through your whole nervous system, and add a feverish flush.
But, you sound kind, patient and caring. That goes a long way. Share with her what you read about it...Lots of women grow up hearing so many stories, yet it is different for everyone. You may know more than she does at this point. Hang in there. Give her lots of housework help, and make her tak care of herself. And, hormone replacements are a bit controversial. I never had any. Make sure she takes good calcium supplements, eats healthy, keeps stress to a minimum, rests, take walks together. Keep holding her hand....
Check the link below. Also, have her drink Echinacea tea Echinacea Tea Benefits
I also agree w/ homeopathic Natural Treatments for Menopause Symptoms Natural menopause treatment with herbs, food remedies and homeopathy relieves cause of symptoms
Last edited by JanND; 02-01-2013 at 08:57 PM..
Reason: text edit
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Menopause, still cycling.
