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The fact that she had to practically force a (heavily intoxicated) male love interest to perform, makes me wonder if he already knew that he was carrying the disease.
Or, he at least knew that his pecker wasn't feeling quite right/well.
Last edited by picklejuice; 05-01-2010 at 06:56 AM..
some men don't know they have it , a woman can get it any where, even in the throat.
what ever her decision is ,she should look at this as her "brush with death".
I just text her and summed up the advice in here. Now she's asking me whether or not she should call him. She's still waiting for him to come crawling back. I told her since she requested he never call her again that she should call him. Was that right?
Quote:
Originally Posted by WyoNewk
Anyone who has EVER had unprotected sex could easily get an STD, and sometimes it's passed from one to the other even when practicing "safe sex." If we look down on those who have had an STD, we'd better be virgins ourselves.
Unless the guy knew he was infected (highly unlikely), your friend was wrong to become angry and cast him aside. IMHO, she is the one who should be crawling back on hands and knees for forgiveness.
I don't quite get the big difference between his actions and hers. They both had unprotected sex, they both caught an unwanted (but easily treatable) STD. He just caught his before she did. Would she have been as angry if she'd have caught a cold from him?
I really don't get why he should "crawl" to her. She has 50% responsibility in this - and perhaps SHE should crawl back to him for HER attitude. He didn't rape her - from your description, she was the more forceful one.
Perhaps they both need to join AA. The bottom line is this: If you have a problem resulting from alcohol use/abuse, then you are in trouble with alcohol (phrase of a former professor, Alan Willoughby and the name of a great book on dealing with alcohol USE, not even abuse).
Perhaps they both need to join AA. The bottom line is this: If you have a problem resulting from alcohol use/abuse, then you are in trouble with alcohol (phrase of a former professor, Alan Willoughby and the name of a great book on dealing with alcohol USE, not even abuse).
I think this is good advice, Having drunk sex is like drunk driving, you are going to be lucky for just so long before something bad happens.
Ok here's my take on this: Maybe he didn't know he had Gnorrhea. Maybe he did. If they want to be together, have them get tested and have him get treated for his STD.
Many people who have STD's including Herpes can be in a healthy happy relationship. Your life doens't end if you have an STD unless its HIV and even then you can now live forever. Seriously people, get over it. MILLIONS and MILLIONS of people have STDs.
It's kind of hard to un-ring a bell. She has already gotten angry with him and shot off her mouth, telling him to get lost, etc. If I were him, I would take her advice and not have anything to do with her again. He may not have know he had the disease and therefore didn't infect her on purpose. It is no more his fault than it is her fault that she got infected. Stuff like this happens when you sleep around, maybe she learned a valuable lesson.
I'm not sure why she was so angry with him in the first place. He probably didn't know he had an STD and it's entirely possible he got it before he even met her. If that's the case, he's not really done anything wrong so I fail to see why she has such a superior attitude and expects him to come crawling back. She is as much to blame for having unprotected sex as he is. She sounds really immature - blaming him for her drunk mistake (she says she was "hesitant" but "practically pulled him in"? That does NOT sound hesitant to me!). On top of that, she thinks she loves this guy and he might be "the one" but she only dated him about 2 month before the break up? My advice? She needs to grow up, learn how to build a REAL relationship, behave more responsibly and educate herself about STDs. I doubt you'll give her that advice but that's my opinion.
Correction: He was hesitant because they both agreed to abstain from sex to take time to really get to know each other. I agree with everything else you said though. My friend reacted out of anger and she's since gotten in touch with him. I think they are trying to work it out.
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Originally Posted by AliciaMaria
Cant you just reference old cell phone bills for the phone number?
She found his number.
Quote:
Originally Posted by picklejuice
The fact that she had to practically force a (heavily intoxicated) male love interest to perform, makes me wonder if he already knew that he was carrying the disease.
Or, he at least knew that his pecker wasn't feeling quite right/well.
I never said anyone was heavily intoxicated. At least from my understand they were not. I'm sure there's a difference with being under the influence and being heavily intoxicated. But yes, the fact that he was hesitant does make me wonder if he was unsure about his status and afraid to put her at risk OR maybe he thought she might have something. But since he gave her an STD, I doubt it's the latter because he caught gonorrhea most likely from putting his pecker unprotected into other women (or possibly just one). Who knows.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thriftylefty
some men don't know they have it , a woman can get it any where, even in the throat.
what ever her decision is ,she should look at this as her "brush with death".
Absolutely! It's still unclear whether or not she is in the clear. She will find out in a few months though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Annie
I really don't get why he should "crawl" to her. She has 50% responsibility in this - and perhaps SHE should crawl back to him for HER attitude. He didn't rape her - from your description, she was the more forceful one.
Perhaps they both need to join AA. The bottom line is this: If you have a problem resulting from alcohol use/abuse, then you are in trouble with alcohol (phrase of a former professor, Alan Willoughby and the name of a great book on dealing with alcohol USE, not even abuse).
LOL @ joining AA. I have no idea what their relationship is like and whether alcohol is always involved. Hopefully it isn't. And yes, he should not have to crawl back to her since she pushed him away for her own irresponsible actions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thriftylefty
I think this is good advice, Having drunk sex is like drunk driving, you are going to be lucky for just so long before something bad happens.
You're absolutely right!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nite Ryder
It's kind of hard to un-ring a bell. She has already gotten angry with him and shot off her mouth, telling him to get lost, etc. If I were him, I would take her advice and not have anything to do with her again. He may not have know he had the disease and therefore didn't infect her on purpose. It is no more his fault than it is her fault that she got infected. Stuff like this happens when you sleep around, maybe she learned a valuable lesson.
From what she said, she wasn't disrespectful to him. Just simply feeling betrayed and angry at both herself and him and that was the reaction. It seems he's accepting of her explanation of her behavior. They have chatted through text messages. I have yet to talk to her this evening so am unsure whether or not they've made any progress but they are communicating and it seems promising.
I think this is good advice, Having drunk sex is like drunk driving, you are going to be lucky for just so long before something bad happens.
I have met guys like this before (even when I was in high school). I was at the barber shop a few days ago and all the guys were talking about girls.
Well, this one dude went on to say that he goes out to the cubs, gets boozed up, and sometimes goes into the women he takes back home "raw." (Raw= no condom)
I just think it's crazy with all the things going on today. It's not like nobody is saying DON'T HAVE SEX, it's just, chose your form of sexual protection until you really know the person. Gezz, what's so hard about that?
Your life doens't end if you have an STD unless its HIV and even then you can now live forever.
Forever? Not true. Africa and Brazil have extremely high rates of HIV infected people and they are dieing off at alarming rates. Africa has a huge orphanage problem because of this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by himain
Seriously people, get over it. MILLIONS and MILLIONS of people have STDs.
Get over it? himain, STD's are a serious issue regardess if millions of people are infected.
Well not every person who get's an STD got it from a cheating spouse. Some people get STDs from birth, others just pick it up along the way because they had sex with a person who was infected but did not know.
Regardless, people who have STDs are still able to find love (and they should) it's just more work because you don't want to have relations when a person is having outbreaks and thinks of that nature. That's all that I mean. I hope I'm clear enough.
Also, most treatments today only suppress STDs so for many people they can't move on.
Wanted to rep you for this post but I'm not allowed to
Great job - this needed to be said
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