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yea.. and don't worry. You're not the only one struggling with this. There are many others out there, and there are many out there who help others overcome this addiction. It's nothing to beat yourself up over.
I don't know if it's an "improvement" or anything, but my tastes for pornography have REALLY mellowed out. I'm pretty much into just looking at MILF or "ugly" (to me they are beautiful) stuff. The rest of the stuff is just too bizarre, I never thought I'd hear myself say that. Therapy has worked wonders for me, but the therapy I'm getting isn't intended for people addicted to pornography, the reason my therapist has been so wonderful to me is that he has given me the environment to speak my mind (along with some coaching on dealing with emotions), and has helped to get me to a point where I can, with a CLEAR HEAD, see things as they really are and prioritize my life.
The first step in problem solving is to identify the problem. Are you sure it's a problem? Pornography has been in the world since the first cave man picked up a soap stone and drew on the walls of his cave. It's nothing new, and only a few say it's bad. From my viewpoint it's nothing to be concerned about unless it's interrupting important parts of your life.
That's a good question, there have been times that I had trouble 'relaxing' and going to sleep until I, well...you know.
Other than that, I sometimes I think I look at the stuff because I'm not busy enough elsewhere in my life. Where staying busy in one's life leaves, boredom and trouble are happy to hold the door open.
sounds to me like you need a real live girl friend. someone to care about. go out and meet people. have fun. continue to work on your self esteem. once you find someone who you are sexually compatible with you will that you really like you feel lots better.
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