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Old 08-09-2012, 01:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by erasure View Post
Funny thing - they actually never did. You'd never heard Brezhnev saying "I did this and that, therefore look how great I am as a national leader;" it were always his comrades who'd always start the speech with something like "Dear Leonid Ilyitch..." So they were still sticking to the same rule, may be with very few exceptions.)))

True that, but don't forget that Stalin's and post-Stalin's Russia is not one and the same thing.
Yes, Soviet rulers let the other do the praise, but it was expected

About Brezhnev times. Two Russians talk at work:
First: I am so hungry, I didn't have any breakfast today.
Second: What happened?
First: I opened the newspaper and there is big picture of Brezhnev right on the first page. I turned the TV on and there is Brezhnev talking...
Second: And?
First: I was too scared to open the fridge.
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Old 08-09-2012, 01:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NJGOAT View Post
See, I think it goes back a little further then that to 1976. It's amazing how hockey parallels world events, lol. Beginning in the mid-1970's the Soviets began sending some of their top teams on international exhibition tours. Their best team was the near invincible Soviet Red Army Team led by Kharlamov and Tretiak. The reason for the tours was to raise money to support the Soviet hockey programs. The western teams paid the Soviets for their apperances and covered the travel expenses.

The Soviets had a great record against the western teams overall and had not suffered a single defeat until 1976. The Soviet Red Army Team was scheduled to play 4 games against NHL teams on NHL rinks with NHL rules. Travelling with them were the Soviet Wings who also played a slate of games in the 75/76 "Super Series".

The games went like this:

Red Army beat the NY Rangers 7-3
Soviet Wings beat the Pittsburgh Penguins 7-4
Red Army tied the Montreal Canadiens 3-3
Soviet Wings lost to the Buffalo Sabres 12-6
Red Army beat the Boston Bruins 5-2
Soviet Wings beat the Chicago Blackhawks 4-2
Soviet Wings beat the NY Islanders 2-1

The final matchup was Red Army against the defending Stanley Cup champion Philadelphia Flyers at the Spectrum in South Philly. The game was broadcast worldwide, including to the Soviet Union. All along the tour the Soviet teams had been met cordially with no major displays of nationalism by anyone. The fans politely cheered for both sides in a display of sportsmanship. This was not to be the case in Philadelphia.

At the pre-game meet and greet the Flyers and Soviets stood on opposite ends of the room and didn't talk. Flyers owner Ed Snider had learned a Russian phrase that would wish good luck to both teams. When he took the podium he only made a few terse remarks and omitted the phrase. He was later quoted as saying, "when I looked at those cold faces, I just couldn't do it." His sentiments were echoed by Flyer's captain Bob Clarke who summed it up by saying "we hated those bastards".

When the Soviets entered the Spectrum they were greeted by a sea of red, white and blue and a chorus of boo's that eventually transitioned into an endless "USA USA USA" chant (we'll forgive the fine citizens of Philadelphia for forgetting their team was mostly Canadians, lol). It was obvious that this was not going to be like the other games.

The game started and with the score tied 0-0 in the first period, the Flyers Ed Van Impe stepped out of the penalty box and delivered a massive check to Kharlamov. Kharlamov fell to the ice and lay prone for over a minute while the crowd seethed and screamed its approval. The Soviets protested that no penalty had been called and the referees deemed it a clean hit. In a fit, the Soviets stormed off the ice and back into the lockerroom with Ed Snider hot on their tails.

Snider, with a chorus of "USA USA USA" echoing through the building threatened the Soviets that if they didn't get back on the ice and finish the game, that he would personally consider their contract void and that they wouldn't be paid for the entire series. The Soviets returned their team to the ice only to be taken apart by the Flyers in a 4-1 loss that featured a shorthanded goal by the Flyers worst offensive player, defenseman Joe Watson, against Tretiak. A goal that the players joke "set the Soviet hockey program back 25 years".

Tretiak still says that the Flyers played "rude hockey" and the Soviet coach Loktev told the media that the Flyers were "a bunch of animals". Pravda summed it up best with their cartoon of the Flyers:
And why was it such a big deal - that single victory, NJ; wasn't it because that particular Soviet team was so legendary in international play, the "most dominant team of all time"?


Quote:
The story doesn't end there though. Not even a decade later, the Soviets opened up their players to be contracted by NHL teams. Snider, with his long festering hatred of the Soviets refused to sign any players. However, his reasoning wasn't that he hated Russians, quite the opposite. He hated the fact that a large portion of the contract for the player was to be paid directly to the Soviet state. In the midst of their economic turmoil, they were attempting to raise money by renting their prized hockey players out to the west.
I wish they were as scrupuleuse on the Capitol Hill...
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Old 08-09-2012, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Parts Unknown, Northern California
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebel12 View Post
Yes, Soviet rulers let the other do the praise, but it was expected

About Brezhnev times. Two Russians talk at work:
First: I am so hungry, I didn't have any breakfast today.
Second: What happened?
First: I opened the newspaper and there is big picture of Brezhnev right on the first page. I turned the TV on and there is Brezhnev talking...
Second: And?
First: I was too scared to open the fridge.
I think that the popular jokes of an era are quite valuable in revealing the actual mentalties of the population regarding their government.

A couple that I liked:

Stalin, Khrushchev and Brezhnev are riding on a train which experiences a breakdown and comes to a halt.

Stalin orders all of the train's crewmembers shot as counter revolutionaries, but the train still does not move.

Khrushchev orders the members of the crew declared postumous heroes of the Soviet Union, but still the train does not move.

So Brezhnev orders all of the window shades drawn and commands the passengers to pretend the train is moving.


and...

A man has been standing in line for six hours to purchase meat at the butcher's. When he finally reaches the counter he is informed that the previous customer got the last piece of meat and he would have to try again tomorrow.

The man's temper erupts and he begins shouting loudly about the stupidity of the Party and their inability to even keep the stores stocked. Another man in a trench coat comes up to him and says "Listen, Comrade, I think you want to keep your voice down. There can be consequences, you know, for showing this sort of poor attitude in public. You never know who might be listening. Why don't you just go home and come back tomorrow as you were told? Alright? No sense getting yourself into trouble over this, is there?"

So the man goes home and tells his wife "There is serious shortage."
"You mean they have run out of meat, again?" she asks.
"Worse" he says, "they have run out of bullets."
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Old 08-09-2012, 02:59 PM
 
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I like the jokes as well, they are rather telling. Some of these are similar to ones my friends father and mother have told me. I pulled these from a couple different sites...

Quote:
Teacher: Where are the best toys?
Children: In the Soviet Union!
Teacher: And where are the tastiest candies?
Children: In the Soviet Union!
Teacher: So where are the happiest children?
Children: In the Soviet Union!
Suddenly Vovochka started to cry bitterly.
Teacher: Vovochka, why are you crying?
Vovochka: (through tears) I want to live in the Soviet Union!

Announcement in the Soviet Union village: "Lecture about love (with pictures)". All the countrymen gathered in the village club.
Lecturer: Love can be between a man and a woman...
Countrymen: Pictures! Pictures!
Lecturer: Also love can be between a man and a man...
Countrymen: Pictures! Pictures!
Lecturer: Besides love can be between a woman and a woman...
Countrymen: Pictures! Pictures!
Lecturer: And finally there is love for our country, Soviet Union... And now the pictures!
These ones were interesting and were apparently very popular...

Quote:
This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Is it possible to build communism in America?”
We’re answering: “It's possible, but who will we buy grain from?”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is the difference between capitalism and socialism?”
We’re answering: “In a capitalist society man exploits man, and in a socialist one, the other way around.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is the difference between Russian and English fairy tales?”
We’re answering: “The English fairy tale start with ‘Once upon a time…’, and ours with ‘It will be soon…’

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Will the police still exist when communism is built?”
We’re answering: “Of course, not. By that time, all citizens will have learned how to arrest themselves.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Why Lenin wore regular shoes, but Stalin wore boots?”
We’re answering: “At Lenin's time, Russia was still only ankle-high in ****.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “When Nixon visited Moscow, he and Khrushchev ran around the Kremlin in a race. Nixon came the first. How should our media report on that?”

We’re answering: “The report should be as follows: ‘In the international running competition the General Secretary of the Communist Party took the honorable second place.’ Mister Nixon came in one before last.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Why policemen always walk the streets in teams of three?”
We’re answering: “The partners in the police team are always chosen in such a way that one of them knows how to read, the other how to write, and the third one, naturally, has to keep watch over those two intellectuals.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is the difference between the Constitutions of the USA and USSR?” Both guarantee freedom of speech.”
We’re answering: “Yes, but the Constitution of the USA also guarantees freedom after the speech.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is permitted and what is prohibited?”
We’re answering: “In England, what is permitted, is permitted, and what is prohibited, is prohibited.
In America everything is permitted except for what is prohibited.
In Germany everything is prohibited except for what is permitted.
In France everything is permitted, even what is prohibited.
In the USSR everything is prohibited, even what is permitted.

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Why did butter disappear from the stores' shelves?”
We’re answering: “It all has melted under the sun of the Soviet Constitution.”

Quote:
At a meeting in a factory, a lecturer from the district Party committee tells the workers about their bright future in the USSR.
"See, comrades, after this five-year plan is completed, every family will have a separate apartment. After the next five-year plan is completed, every worker will have a car! And after one more five-year plan is completed, every family will own an airplane!"
From the audience, somebody asks, "What the hell one may need an airplane for?"
"Don't you see comrades? Let's say, there are shortages in potatoes supplies in your city. No problem! You take your own plane, fly to Moscow and buy potatoes!"

A Polish tourist comes back home after visiting the USSR. He carries two very large and heavy suitcases. On his wrist is a new Soviet-made watch. He tells the customs man: "This is a new Soviet watch. It's a wonder unknown in the capitalist countries. You see, it shows time, the rate of your pulse beats, the phases of the Moon, the weather in Warsaw, Moscow, and New York, and more and more!"
"Yes, it's a wonder," the customs man agrees. "And what is it you have in these big suitcases?"
"Oh, it's just the batteries for that watch."

An old wench waited for two hours to get in a bus. Bus after bus came full and she couldn't squeeze herself in. When she finally managed to crawl in, she wiped her forehead, and said, "Finally, glory to God!"
The driver said, "Mother, you must not say that. You must say 'Glory to comrade Stalin."
"Excuse me, comrade," the woman said. "I'm just a backward old woman. I'll say from now on as you told me."
After a while, she said, "Excuse me, comrade, I am old and stupid. What shall I say if, God forbid, Stalin dies?"
"Oh, mother, then you shall say, "'Glory to God!"

A woman walking in the street is carrying a bag full of rolls of toilet paper.
A passer-by opens his mouth, "Hey, mother, where did you buy it?"
"Buy? Are you crazy? Where could I buy it nowadays? They are five years old. I am taking them back from the cleaners."

A Russian, a Frenchman and an Englishman argued about Adam's nationality.
The Frenchman said, "Of course Adam was French. Look how passionately he made love to Eve!"
The Englishman said, "Of course Adam was British. Look how he gave his only apple to the lady, like a real gentleman."
The Russian said, "Of course Adam only could be Russian. Who else, possessing nothing but a sole apple, and walking with a naked ass, still believed he was in a paradise?"

The year is 2010. In Moscow, a boy asks, "Grandpa, what is a line?"
"You see, some twenty years back, there was not enough meat in stores, so people had to form long queues at the stores' entrances and wait hoping some meat would appear on sale. That was called line. Did you get it?"
"Yes, Grandpa. And what is meat?"

Seven paradoxes of the socialist state:
Nobody works, but the plan is always fulfilled. The plan is fulfilled, but the shelves in the stores are empty. The shelves are empty, but nobody starves; nobody starves, but everybody is unhappy; everybody is unhappy, but nobody complains; nobody complains, but the jails are full.

In a school in the republic of Georgia the teacher asked the students to tell about their fathers.
"Turashvili, tell about your father."
"My father grows oranges. He takes them to Moscow, sells there and makes good money."
"Now you, Beridze."
"My father grows laurel leaves. He takes them to Moscow, sells there, and makes good money."
"Now you, Klividze."
"My father works in the Division for the Fight Against Embezzlements and Speculations. When Beridze's and Turashvili's fathers go to Moscow, they always first see my father. So he makes good money."
"Now you, Chavchavadze."
"My father is a chemical engineer."
The class burst in laughter.
"Children," the teacher said. "It's not good to laugh at somebody's grief."

There was an international competition for the best book about elephants.
France submitted a lavishly illustrated volume titled "Love triangles in the elephants' families."
England presented a treatise "Elephants and the World Trade."
Germany submitted 24 volume set under the title "Introduction into elephantology."
The USA furnished one million copies of a leaflet announcing a sweepstakes, "Win an Elephant. No purchase necessary."
The USSR sent three volumes, with the following titles,
Vol. 1. Role of elephants in the Great October Socialist Revolution.
Vol. 2. The happy life of elephants under the sun of the most progressive in the world Soviet Constitution.
Vol. 3. Russia - the Motherland of elephants.

In the Red Square in Moscow, a line is snaking toward the Lenin's tomb. A change of guard is watched by the onlookers. A kid asks, "Daddy, why do they always keep guard at the tomb?"
"Didn't you hear what they say all the time? Lenin lived, Lenin is alive, Lenin will live forever. What if , God forbid, he is indeed alive, and decides to walk out of the tomb?"

Stalin walked into Lenin's office and asked, "Vladimir Ilyich, may I order to shoot a dozen communists?"
"If the interests of the Party demand it, by all means," Lenin answered.
"Vladimir Ilyich, if necessary, may we shoot one hundred communists?"
"If necessary, the answer is Yes."
"Vladimir Ilyich, may we, if need be, shoot one thousand Party members?"
"If there is a real need, yes."
"Vladimir Ilyich, may we, if the situation demands, shoot one million of Party Members?"
"Eh, Iosif Vissarionovich, now we'll criticize you in a comradely way, and may even say to you that you exaggerate a little."
OK, I got really carried away, but these had me cracking up, lol.
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Old 08-09-2012, 03:01 PM
 
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I'm thinking here about yet another one;


A Russian and American are talking and comparing their lives in respective countries, with different political systems;
American; "I know about the political suppression and all in the Soviet Union, so let's start with this; if I am not happy with any political events in my country, I can come to Washington and protest in front of the White house all I want, without being arrested. Can you do something like that here on the Red Square?
Russian; "Nope, I don't think so, I will be arrested."
American; "And if I am not happy with the policies of my president, I can take his portrait and spit at it at any public place I want. No one will care - that's freedom for you. Can you do that to a portrait of your president, in public?
Russian; "Nope, I don't think so, I'll be arrested."
Then Russian thinks for a moment and asks;
"Listen, when you are employed in your country, can you miss your job, because you were drinking with other guys a day before and still be payed for the missed day?"
"No" American said "I might miss a day like that but I won't be paid."
"How about three days in a row, because you've met old buddies and all three of you decided to party?
Could you party and still be payed for those missed days?
"No" says an American " In fact I think I would be fired."
"And how about missing a week and still getting a bonus payment at the end of quarter?"
"No way" said American.
"Then spit on your president all you want" answers Russian, lovingly polishing Brezhnev's portrait with his sleeve "and don't touch mine. I like freedom too, you know)))"
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Old 08-09-2012, 08:16 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by erasure View Post
I'm thinking here about yet another one;


A Russian and American are talking and comparing their lives in respective countries, with different political systems;
American; "I know about the political suppression and all in the Soviet Union, so let's start with this; if I am not happy with any political events in my country, I can come to Washington and protest in front of the White house all I want, without being arrested. Can you do something like that here on the Red Square?
Russian; "Nope, I don't think so, I will be arrested."
American; "And if I am not happy with the policies of my president, I can take his portrait and spit at it at any public place I want. No one will care - that's freedom for you. Can you do that to a portrait of your president, in public?
Russian; "Nope, I don't think so, I'll be arrested."
Then Russian thinks for a moment and asks;
"Listen, when you are employed in your country, can you miss your job, because you were drinking with other guys a day before and still be payed for the missed day?"
"No" American said "I might miss a day like that but I won't be paid."
"How about three days in a row, because you've met old buddies and all three of you decided to party?
Could you party and still be payed for those missed days?
"No" says an American " In fact I think I would be fired."
"And how about missing a week and still getting a bonus payment at the end of quarter?"
"No way" said American.
"Then spit on your president all you want" answers Russian, lovingly polishing Brezhnev's portrait with his sleeve "and don't touch mine. I like freedom too, you know)))"
Yup. Reality reflected in jokes. All these people could do was laugh.

You remember when Brezhnev scared by the extent of alcoholism in su wanted to implement American style prohibition?
After two weeks he gave up because older Russians started to sober up and ask 'Where is Tsar?'
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Old 08-09-2012, 08:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rebel12 View Post
Yup. Reality reflected in jokes. All these people could do was laugh.

You remember when Brezhnev scared by the extent of alcoholism in su wanted to implement American style prohibition?
After two weeks he gave up because older Russians started to sober up and ask 'Where is Tsar?'

I thought you were a Russian for a while, but no Russian would ever touch a subject of gay marriage I suppose, Julius Cesar or not...
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Old 08-09-2012, 09:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rebel12 View Post
Stalin practically invented cult of personality in its modern form.
I thought that was credited to Napoleon.
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Old 08-09-2012, 09:42 PM
 
2,920 posts, read 2,496,336 times
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Originally Posted by erasure View Post
I thought you were a Russian for a while, but no Russian would ever touch a subject of gay marriage I suppose, Julius Cesar or not...
Somebody has to defend our civilization... It's going down the drain.
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Old 08-10-2012, 11:12 AM
 
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Originally Posted by rebel12 View Post
Somebody has to defend our civilization... It's going down the drain.
Who appointed you arbiter and defender of western civilization? Don't think you are doing the rest of us any favors.
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