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Old 08-18-2013, 03:07 PM
28,900 posts, read 48,685,833 times
Reputation: 46235


Hitler: What? You mean the Jews have their own country?
OBL: Yes! Crazy Zionist pigs. They killed me, you know.
Hitler: [Pause, followed by fifteen minutes of volcanic rage]
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Old 08-18-2013, 05:09 PM
1,479 posts, read 2,286,020 times
Reputation: 2020
Hitler - What do you do for a living?
OBL - I own a cellphone company.
Hitler - Can I buy a few phones for me and my followers?
OBL - Of course. How will you pay?
Hitler - With Reichmarks.
OBL - You're effing joking! Has to be US dollars only.
Hitler - Fine. Make the ringtone the first stanza from "Deutschlandlied." You know, "Deutschland,
Deutschland uber alles..."
OBL - That will cost you an extra five large. Bring the money to my compound tonight. One more thing,
keep your eyes open. My sources tell me that something big is going down.
Hitler - Big? You want big? Here, read my book. It will knock your sandals off.
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Old 08-19-2013, 06:20 PM
Location: SoCal
5,722 posts, read 4,850,823 times
Reputation: 1877
Hitler: Are you a friend of Haj Amin al-Husseini?
OBL: Who?
Hitler: My Mufti! He hated Jews and Zionists a lot.
OBL: Him? I'm not a friend of his--rather I am an admirer of him.
Hitler: I seriously hope that you didn't mean that in a sexual way, because otherwise I would need to kill you.
OBL: No, don't worry. I didn't mean that in a gay way. Plus, killing me isn't easy.
(OBL grabs his crotch like a black rapper does.)
OBL: It's hard.
Hitler: Are you talking about your dick?
OBL: No, about you killing me. It would be as hard as eating a whole sausage at once.
Hitler: Dude, come on, no homo!
OBL: What, sausages? Sausages are food, and I sure as heck love them much more than I love cherries.
Hitler: Allright, I've heard enough gay things for one day. You know, I killed a whole bunch of gay people back when I was Fuhrer.
OBL: Fuhrer of Wienerschnitzel, maybe.
Hitler: Oh, so you're gay and Jewish? This will make it even more pleasurable for me to kill you.
(Hitler takes out his gun. OBL quickly activates a bomb which kills Hitler.)
OBL: And boom goes the dynamite. Also, and boom goes the dynamite in my pants. That Hitler guy was pretty hot, especially that delicious moustache of his.
(OBL has sex with Hitler's corpse.)
OBL: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
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Old 08-19-2013, 06:22 PM
Location: SoCal
5,722 posts, read 4,850,823 times
Reputation: 1877
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Hitler: What? You mean the Jews have their own country?
OBL: Yes! Crazy Zionist pigs. They killed me, you know.
Hitler: [Pause, followed by fifteen minutes of volcanic rage]
OBL: Yeah, it's your fault, you douche. You just had to kill six million of them, didn't you? As a response to what you did, the international community gave those infidel Jews a part of our camel-grazing territory. They should have gotten a piece of Germany instead, but no, the international community just had to screw over us Arabs instead. Heck, if it wasn't for those infidel Jews and their nasty Zionist entity, I would be sleeping with my goats right now instead of being stuck with you in this elevator in Hell.
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Old 08-21-2013, 03:44 AM
Location: Tucson/Nogales
19,573 posts, read 23,243,136 times
Reputation: 27324
It depends on what elevator. You do know Hitler had a brass-plated elevator excavated out of a mountain in his backyard in Germany, to take him to the top of the mountain, which he only used 3X due to altitude sickness.

In that elevator:

Osama: Gee whiz! You got the taxpayers to pay for this, it must have cost a fortune!
Hitler: It sure did! Paranoid, I thought if they came to kill me, I'd simply take the elevator to the top of the mountain, with some machine guns, and shoot at them from the mountain top or jump!
Osama: With the all the steep mountains in Pakistan and Afghanistan, why didn't I think of that, build my compound at the base of a mountain!
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Old 08-21-2013, 08:02 AM
6,020 posts, read 6,862,990 times
If we had a trolling sub forum, I'd move this thread there. It's hardly a "History" topic, is it ? And certainly not worthy of digging up.
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