Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Our marriage is definitely a partnership, without a doubt. But not all things are equal. It is what it is. There's more give and take than some think. When it comes to decorating, women are far more vocal and opinionated about design choices. Men can be as well but for many guys, the decorating of the house is one thing that they don't mind delegating to their wives. There are many guys who don't have any patience or desire for interior design. This doesn't mean that it isn't a two way street. Even the most laid back of guys like my husband will let their opinions (yay or nay) be known and there will be the usual back and forth.
What makes the man space special is that this is the room where they don't have to compromise. If they don't want any chenille curtains then by golly they don't have to have them in their space. My husband has configured his room to be the way that he likes it. He can display his collectibles, hang up his metal wall art, have furniture that he wants. Sure, he consults me to "help him" decide, but the decision of what goes in his room is always his. Another advantage to the room is that he has game nights with his guy friends and they sometimes get raunchy. Think family guy, lol....seriously when a bunch of guys get together with beer...and let's not talk about the fart contests. In addition, he plays adult themed video games and likes to watch wrestling and sports (two things I don't really care for). He can simply close the door to his room and enjoy those things in there.
As for me, well I have lots of areas to relax in and call my own. We have a "sitting room", for example. There's the family room. Heck, I do enjoy just kicking back and relaxing in my bedroom. I also spend time outside. I have no problem with him having a man space/man cave/whatever
Despite popular belief, American boys tag behind girls in reading and writing ability, and they are less likely to go to college. Our young men are greatly at risk, yet the best-known studies and experts insist that it's girls who are in need of our attention. The highly publicized "girl crisis" has led to many changes in American schools, politics, and parenting...but at what cost?
In this provocative book, Christina Hoff Sommers argues that our society has continued to overemphasize the troubles of girls while our boys suffer from the same self-esteem and academic problems. Boys need help, but not the sort of help they've been getting.
A review of the facts show that boys, not girls, are on the weak side of the education gap. Boys, on average are a year and a half behind girls on reading and writing, they are less committed to school (and schools don't try to engage them) and are less likely to go to college. College full time enrollments have been skewed to 40-45% male, 55-60% female, and yet the "official" view is that schools are "failing at fairness" to girls and more and more emphasis is on girls studies. So when will it be fair? When women are 75% of college enrollments? Perhaps when there are no men at all in college...
The description of America's teenage girls as silenced, tortured, voiceless and otherwise personally diminished has very little evidence to support it. But the fact that it's happening to boys is showing up in school attendance and performance, and in the spate of boys feeling that way who have been shooting up our schools lately. Not excusing that behavior, but we have to examine what's at the core of it, and that's the lack of attention our school systems are paying to boys these days, and the misguided attempts by feminism to "rescue" boys from their masculinity.
A couple clinical psychologists said there was a girl crisis with more and more girls in their offices who tried to kill themselves. But while there has been an increase over the years in girls committing suicide, that increase has been on the order of 27-30%, while the increase in boy's suicide was 70-75% over the same time period. They just tend not to go to the psychologists office.
Let’s face it, boys are different from girls. As a group, boys are noisy, rowdy, and hard to manage. Many are messy and disorganized, and won’t sit still. They tend to like action, risk, and competition. When researchers asked a sample of boys why they did not spend a lot of time talking about their problems, most of them said it was “weird” and a waste of time. Today’s classrooms tend to be feelings-centered, risk-averse, competition-free, and sedentary. As early as pre-school and kindergarten, boys can be punished for behaving like boys. The characteristic play of young males is “rough-and-tumble” play. There is no known society where little boys fail to evince this behavior (girls do it too, but far less). In many schools, rough –and-tumble play is no longer tolerated. Well-meaning but intolerant adults are insisting “tug of war” be changed to “tug of peace”; games such as tag are being replaced with “circle of friends” — in which no one is ever out. Boys as young as five or six can be suspended for playing cops and robbers. Our schools have become hostile environments for most boys.
For one thing, we can follow the example of the British, the Canadians, and the Australians. They have openly addressed the problem of male underachievement. They are experimenting with programs to help them become more organized, focused, and engaged. These include more boy-friendly reading assignments (science fiction, fantasy, sports, espionage, battles); more recess time (where boys can engage in rough-and-tumble play as a respite from classroom routine); campaigns to encourage male literacy; more single-sex classes; and more male teachers (and female teachers interested in the pedagogical challenges boys pose). A few years ago, the Australian government launched a campaign called “Success for Boys.” This program provided grants to 1,600 schools to incorporate boy-friendly methods into their daily practice. A “Success for Boys” campaign would face furious opposition in the U.S. Congress. Legislators would receive an avalanche of protesting faxes, e-mails, petitions, and phone calls from women’s groups accusing them of taking part in a “backlash” maneuver against women and girls. In the U.S., a network of women’s groups works ceaselessly to protect and promote what it sees as female interests. But there is no counterpart working for boys — they are on their own.
A review of the facts show that boys, not girls, are on the weak side of the education gap. Boys, on average are a year and a half behind girls on reading and writing, they are less committed to school (and schools don't try to engage them) and are less likely to go to college. College full time enrollments have been skewed to 40-45% male, 55-60% female, and yet the "official" view is that schools are "failing at fairness" to girls and more and more emphasis is on girls studies. So when will it be fair? When women are 75% of college enrollments? Perhaps when there are no men at all in college...
The description of America's teenage girls as silenced, tortured, voiceless and otherwise personally diminished has very little evidence to support it. But the fact that it's happening to boys is showing up in school attendance and performance, and in the spate of boys feeling that way who have been shooting up our schools lately. Not excusing that behavior, but we have to examine what's at the core of it, and that's the lack of attention our school systems are paying to boys these days, and the misguided attempts by feminism to "rescue" boys from their masculinity.
A couple clinical psychologists said there was a girl crisis with more and more girls in their offices who tried to kill themselves. But while there has been an increase over the years in girls committing suicide, that increase has been on the order of 27-30%, while the increase in boy's suicide was 70-75% over the same time period. They just tend not to go to the psychologists office.
Well, as a tomboy who in some ways better fit the boy description than the girl one, I got to experience the 1960s and early 1970s treatment of girls as being less important to encourage pursuing careers outside of teaching or nursing. That IS how it was in many cases. I also saw the rise of Women's Liberation and how silly things made guys feel threatened. I am talking stuff like who gets to open a door for himself/herself. A distraction from the more important matter of equal pay for equal work, regardless of gender.
Things might well have swung to the opposite, and just as damaging, kinds of bias. There was and still is too much emphasis on stereotypes.
The term "man cave" is antiquated, but the concept of individual space for each partner in a household is not. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water.
Today’s classrooms tend to be feelings-centered, risk-averse, competition-free, and sedentary.
This definitely has the ring of truth to it, unfortunately. It must have happened over more than just the last few years, or else we would not have so many people in their 20s and early 30s whining, being passive about DOING something to make their lives better yet being aggressive about demanding that others do it for them, at other people's expense. All while "refusing to work for a living."
"I am a highly sensitive special snowflake who 'can't' be in the rat race. GIVE ME WHAT I WANT or else, waahhhhhhhhh!"
And this attitude is not gender-specific, no, not one bit.
im my mind, it tells me the "man" wants to be alone, away from his wife and children.
I think it is horrible
As a father, obviously i worked all day, of course id want to be with my children and "wife at the time" (deceased).
No, i dont want to be in a seperate place in the house alone. no.
In the situations where I actually know a few guys, who had their man space years ago. One such situation, the kids grew up and left home, and the guy turned one of the kids room into his man space. The other situation is where the couple at the time had no kids, and the guy turned one of the rooms into his space until they got ready to start a family. Not sure if that's a popular thing these days, I hardly hear any guys mention it.
There was a House Hunters episode a few years back where a bachelor (teacher? in the Raleigh, NC area) was looking for his first home. He wanted a "man cave". Umm, buddy the whole house is yours to do with as you wish. Why specify the need for a "man cave"? Such an idiotic statement.
HGTV is obnoxious although I watch it all the time. Been married for 20 yrs and my husband could care less on decor unless I did something wild I guess. He likes what I pick out and I do appreciate his input. He is color blind though so he leaves all the color choices to me. He did specify he wanted a finished basement and a garage which was also what I wanted. I like my alone time and agree with another poster everyone should have their own space. I suggested that the basement could be his space if he liked. He agreed but after awhile he said he didn't care for the basement at all and would rather spend his time in the family room watching tv as it is closer to the kitchen.
I have the basement more or less because I work from home and there is a family room and office down there. I really don't watch much tv and could care less he watches sports. To me it is just noise in the background. When it came to buying the tv, he got his wish for the largest one he could fix into the room. His compromise was that I got to pick the furniture piece it would go on (although again, he could really care less). Ended up getting a pretty awesome art easel that is made for a tv so it looks pretty cool really.
As far as the closet goes. That is one of the things that drives me nuts with HGTV. Oh he gets the small closet! Whatever. My husband actually has more clothes than I do. We have one big walk in closet but if we came across a house with two and one was larger, he would get the larger one. I hate clutter and like to be organized so that only makes sense.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Been married for 20 yrs and my husband could care less on decor unless I did something wild I guess. He likes what I pick out and I do appreciate his input. He is color blind though so he leaves all the color choices to me. He did specify he wanted a finished basement and a garage which was also what I wanted. I like my alone time and agree with another poster everyone should have their own space. I suggested that the basement could be his space if he liked. He agreed but after awhile he said he didn't care for the basement at all and would rather spend his time in the family room watching tv as it is closer to the kitchen. 
