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Wow... I grew up with every family holiday being celebrated at my Grandparents home with the big long table and the benches on each side. I just looked at an old photo of a Thanksgiving dinner and there are twelve of us sitting around it, with room to spare. Everyone looks really comfortable... even the kids who are conveniently corralled between parents... But no one ever would have described a moment in my Grandmother's home as awkward. You could fit four or fourteen at that table, without everyone having to move furniture around.
People are different. Some are formal and uptight, some are casual and easy to please I guess!
If all you had was the choice of was which bench to sit at, then of course it wouldn't be awkward. It's not the same situation.
When four people at a dinner party get a comfortable chair and two people don't, it's awkward. No one wants to look selfish by sitting right down in a chair, and look like they're sticking the others with the bench. So everyone hangs back unsure of what to do.
The hosts don't want to play favorites, so they end up embarrassed too. The couple I mentioned had never entertained in that house before. I'm sure that when they bought the dining room furniture, they hadn't thought it through. It only took one dinner party to change their minds. Now they have only chairs.
It's "formal and uptight" to want to be comfortable?
I assure you, everyone was NOT "really comfortable". I am far from "formal and uptight". Benches are flat out NOT comfortable seating. There is no contour on the seat, and there is no back. Frankly, most well-mannered dinner guests are not going to complain about uncomfortable seating, unless they are elderly and/or have hip/back issues. It absurd to plan to entertain guests, if you are not going to make a little effort to seat them somewhat comfortably.
Your experience and perception isn't universal. My MIL had benches which we sat on for every major holiday meal and birthday celebration and many Sunday brunches for decades. They were perfectly comfortable for us (all of her children and their spouses) even as we aged into our 60's.
As a widow, she entertained her circle of women friends almost weekly. We asked her why someone else couldn't host the group's potluck-and-games sessions and she said, "well they just like coming over here best".
Sorry... I just can't imagine feeling awkward about the choice between a chair and a bench! People sit on benches all the time. I might find it more comfortable than a skinny chair. It's just such a non issue! - For me. One's mileage certainly may vary.
Last edited by Diana Holbrook; 05-29-2017 at 05:47 PM..
Benches are flat out NOT comfortable seating. There is no contour on the seat, and there is no back.
It's like sitting on bleachers, watching a game. But at least with that, you can prop your feet up on the seats below you and lean forward. No such luck while dining...
wow! I didn't realize this board would be such a hit! After reading through and thinking about it, I do agree with the majority of you that a bench would be uncomfortable. I am now between 3 different chairs but I would get 4 of the same ones.
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
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Originally Posted by bb2315
wow! I didn't realize this board would be such a hit! After reading through and thinking about it, I do agree with the majority of you that a bench would be uncomfortable. I am now between 3 different chairs but I would get 4 of the same ones.
Buy 4 chairs....one for each end, and two for the side opposite the bench. I love the barn wood color. It looks like a very nice piece of furniture. Congrats!
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Benches are flat out NOT comfortable seating. There is no contour on the seat, and there is no back. 
Frankly, most well-mannered dinner guests are not going to complain about uncomfortable seating, unless they are elderly and/or have hip/back issues. It absurd to plan to entertain guests, if you are not going to make a little effort to seat them somewhat comfortably.
