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So today I was sitting at work when my phone rang. Of course I answered it and THIS was what followed:
Live person: "Please hold for an important message involving your home's security..."
Recording: "ADT Home Security systems can..." blah, blah-BLAH blah... "PLEASE stay on the line while we connect you with a Security Agent!"
...ring....ring...
Live person: "Hello, this is Ashley! With whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?"
Me: "You're speaking with Michael. You all called me, not the other way around. Is this call being recorded for quality assurance purposes?"
Live person who previously identified herself as Ashley: "Absolutely! You have a wonderful day now!" *click*
I wouldn't purchase their product on principle after that!
Why did you stay on the line so long? I don't hang up but I slam the phone down right after those tell tale SPAM words "PLEASE stay on the line while we connect you..............". I would never stay on the line long enough for when a SPAMMER comes on. Besides the SPAMMER is likely from India selling some American product and using a fake American sounding name with an accent so deplorable that no one can understand it anyway.
Don't even give them a second of your time. ADT sucks anyway.
If a computer calls me I hangup... don't even wait to see who it is. Even if it is something concerning me (reminding me of an appointment, billing issues, whatever) I expect to be called by a person.
Actually, I have a lot of fun with cold sales calls. I got the inspiration from Tom Mabe, and I'm not nearly as good as he is, but I can usually get them to hang up on me after a few minutes of story-telling. Although, I did have one girl who stayed on the line for 20 minutes after I told her that her voice reminded me of my ex-girlfriend and that if she wouldn't talk to me there was no telling what I might do to myself.
I guess small minds are easily amused, or I spend too much time alone, but it is amusing, and I figure if they are getting paid to be on the phone I may as well make them earn their money...
One of the phone rooms I handle IT for used to do all kinds of horrible things to the cold callers that called into the system.
One favorite was 'Hank' (a code name nobody in the office is actually called of course) our owner. When they got a cold caller asking for the owner they would say 'Hank' wasn't in but to call back on Monday (or some other day in the near future). Whenever someone would call asking for 'Hank' the call room guys would round robin them through the system. The first guy would say "Oh sure let me transfer you to his desk" then leave them on hold for five minutes then someone else would pick it up and do the transfer trick again until they got bored and hung up on the poor guy or he gave up.
It was a big business though so the cold callers would put up with a lot of crap attempting to land the sale. Another favorite was to make them bark like a dog. I need to know how bad you want to talk to my manager... bark like a dog and I'll let you talk to him *speaker phone*.
Management used to let it slide as long as the phone guys knew 100% it was a telemarketer calling. Since then management has changed so they aren't allowed to harass them any more... too bad really as they were damn creative and could torture those guys to no end.
One favorite was 'Hank' (a code name nobody in the office is actually called of course) our owner.
Imaginary employees are the best. They don't talk back, they never ask for a pay raise - or even a paycheck, and it's amazing just how many roles they can conveniently take on when someone asks for them over the phone.
We had a 'Stella' in our office, aka the office manager/IT manager/purchasing agent/shipping coordinator/promotions department/communication director ... and a few other roles. "She's out on maternity leave." usually got them to shut up for at least a few months. One did catch us off guard, though. "Again? Wasn't she out last year too?" Our receptionist bluntly replied back "Yeah, apparently she can't keep her legs closed!"
Actually, I have a lot of fun with cold sales calls. I got the inspiration from Tom Mabe, and I'm not nearly as good as he is, but I can usually get them to hang up on me after a few minutes of story-telling. Although, I did have one girl who stayed on the line for 20 minutes after I told her that her voice reminded me of my ex-girlfriend and that if she wouldn't talk to me there was no telling what I might do to myself.
I guess small minds are easily amused, or I spend too much time alone, but it is amusing, and I figure if they are getting paid to be on the phone I may as well make them earn their money...
LOL My DH would sing songs from start to finish on phone with telemarketers. He would also do the Jehovah Witness "impression" Christian style... "do you know Jesus? There's a best selling book that tells the story of his life (the Bible)... here let me read some chapters for you"... etc.
Amazingly the telemarketers remain on the line to hear the song or humor his Bible talk... just to get a chance to sale pitch.
another thing DH used to do is take junk mail and save it up, and when he had a decent pile, he would stuff it into one of those pre-paid postage envelope provided by telemarketers and he would write on envelope "postmaster please weigh envelope in case it is overweight"; then mail that junk mail stuffed envelope to the junk mail creators.
another thing DH used to do is take junk mail and save it up, and when he had a decent pile, he would stuff it into one of those pre-paid postage envelope provided by telemarketers and he would write on envelope "postmaster please weigh envelope in case it is overweight"; then mail that junk mail stuffed envelope to the junk mail creators.
I may give that one a try, just to see how it works out!
We recently had an independent home security company come into our area. Their first step was to go through the neighborhood and ask to put up their signs, just to advertise their presence. First off, there is not a crime wave of home break-ins here, but that's the impression they want to give. When a guy came to our house, he started out friendly. When we said no, he became belligerent, talking about home break-ins. About the time my wife said we have dogs for that, our GR ran down the stairs barking. Couldn't have been more perfect timing.
Later, a sales person came by. I told her we have dogs for home security and she tried to sell it with the fire alarms tied into it to protect the dogs in case of fire. As far as I know, our dogs don't play with matches when we're gone.
I think the people who let them put a sign in their yard might get a "free" system. Installation and monthly monitoring fee will of course apply.
Oh, and I wouldn't be surprised if they start doing a few home break-ins to drum up business.
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