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Lucky you! My husband is the smartest man on the planet, but he is not handy around the house.
Which is just fine, as I LOVE doing those things. I DO avoid anything electrical or involving plumbing, though.
I am the same as your husband-not very handy. Once I tried to replace a faucet and my wife asked if I had shut the water off. I responded that of course I did. There was no water coming out. I didn't realize she meant the valve underneath. So as you can imagine we all got quite the shower for about a minute straight while I tried to control my laughing long enough to find the valve and shut it off.
I don't even bother with a to do list. I KNOW what needs to be done. No need to write it all out, amend it, edit it, obsess over it.... LOL!
Instead, I do a Ta Da list. On my daily calendar, I write what I DID over the course of the day.
That way, at the end of the day, I see what I got done, not what I still need to do.
PLUS, my way comes in handy at the end of the week when I wonder what I got done this week!
Well, as I get older....my memory gets shorter....
Some days I might not even remember my name....so I open my wallet and look at my drivers license.....terrible to look at such a young guy though....
I would be embarrassed to see nothing done for the week and go into withdrawal for another 2 weeks....
I am the same as your husband-not very handy. Once I tried to replace a faucet and my wife asked if I had shut the water off. I responded that of course I did. There was no water coming out. I didn't realize she meant the valve underneath. So as you can imagine we all got quite the shower for about a minute straight while I tried to control my laughing long enough to find the valve and shut it off.
Next time....do it again..... Some mistakes are worth doing again for a good laugh....
Anything that you "put off" has a high probability of "getting worse over time" while the effort of doing at least some "bite sized task" generally has at least some chance of making the overall list shrink AS WELL AS giving you a mental boost to keep going.
There is research that shows that there are different kinds of "focus disorders" that in some cases may be observable as procastination , in some as OCD type behavior, in others as ADHD and still others as "pathological collecting / hoarding". The general range of ways to overcome these things is to realize that certain kinds of things will create some anixety / distress, don't let those things overwhelm your ability to remain rational and assign a priority to those which are most critical.
I think this is more of the OP's problem.
We come onto this thread because we are motivated to get a job done. We are asking specific questions, what tool is best for a certain job, what is the best product etc. Or we are offering our experience as to how we handled a specific task.
It appears that the OP isn't at that point.
You can make lists, 3x5 cards and shopping lists and they will serve no other purpose than to frustrate and depress him if he can't find the motivation to jump start an actual project.
Perhaps the OP does not have the confidence, fear of botched job etc. I don't know.
For me, it started with tiny successes, tightening that, annoyingly, loose door knob, painting the scuffy stair risers.
It also helps to have a cheerleading supporter.
I hope the OP finds his motivation and confidence!
You can make lists, 3x5 cards and shopping lists and they will serve no other purpose than to frustrate and depress him if he can't find the motivation to jump start an actual project.
I understand what you are saying about the OP's challenges and I agree. But I think part of procrastination is the inability to actually look at a task, analyze it and determine what needs to be done....once that is done, I get motivated. So I think lists, cards, etc. are absolutely part of the process of gearing up to do repairs/upkeep.
Identifying what needs to be done (may need outside help with this one) - first step.
Doing research (if you don't know) to figure out how to accomplish a task - asking questions, getting directions off the internet, visiting your hardware store, etc....research until you feel confident to start (second step).
Actively preparing areas to be worked on (prep is so important) and gathering together the correct materials and tools to do the task (third step).
And finally - doing the work (4th step).
You can't get to #4 without doing 1, 2 & 3 and you can't start off with 3 or 4 without doing 1 & 2 (well, of course you could, but that usually doesn't work very well).
Anyone who has never experienced the "where do I begin" when faced with a seemingly unending list or the frustration of getting started only to then realize there is a tool or part needed to finish and now that job is half done, etc. will not appreciate the value of the cards and the "swiss cheese" method of getting motivated.
The value is that for each piece of a job completed there is a sense of accomplishment which spurs you on to tackling another piece of the job or, better yet, seeing a part of the job can be delegated, that just makes the next part easier. If the job simply is to replace the walkway, it'll never get done because it's daunting to someone like the OP.
You DO remember the OP? The one who said it's "OVERWHELMING"? He can't get a full job checked off of his list but I bet he's gotten parts of some jobs done. If he could see that, he wouldn't feel so "tired just looking at" his list.
So for those of you who have more experience in dealing with house repairs, do your lists. For those who are organized or self-starters, stick with a long list because yours won't "keep growing" like the OP's.
The OP asked for suggestions, just because some/many of you don't need help getting going or getting anything done, is not a reason to bash a system that has worked for many people for a very long time. I used this system at work teaching subordinates how to work on a project - in business it's called "swiss cheese" - poke holes in the project. And yes, in housekeeping it's called the "S.H.E." system. Call it what you want, it works.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bgmv90
My "to do" list has become so large and long that it is overwhelming. I find myself confused as to what to do first, and then it just seems like I will either never get stuff done or I will have no free time. There are too many things that need maintained or repairs around the house. Where to start? How to start? I've already made the lists, but they just keep growing with nothing getting checked off. I get tired even just looking at the list.
IMO the best way to go is to work tasks one room at a time. It keeps the chaos limited to one area instead of the entire house, and it feels as though you're able to move things to completion a bit quicker that way.
I liked Bones idea earlier on and this recent one by Scuba, and that's to prioritize in some manner, or organize in some manner, or find the focus of your cleaning to-do list, anything to get stuff down to a day's manageable task, maybe combining three days and that's it. Wait until next month to do more. We recently had to clean up the whole house. And this is because we had two sick dogs that prompted a need to clean carpets, and naturally everything else in the whole wide world was attached to it. So, what I did was, I decided to ONLY do what was needed for a NEW DOG to live peacefully in our home. We did it in one week, each day was a particular room or group of areas, and we only did what was basically necessary to prevent anyone getting the plague in our home. Many things were left undone, but the house is so much cleaner now.
Then there is the moving scenario, and the way to tackle that is do one room at a time, as Scuba said. And then if it's random stuff like you need to paint a room, install some molding in another room, fix the toilet gizmo, change out the faucets, buy a wallpaper mural, build a shelf, and on it goes, then you do have to apply either the focus of your need to do stuff (someone is visiting, so do the spare room and the bathroom), or just do all of one room's work at a time, or do necessary stuff first (like water flooding in the sliding doors), just find a way to cut down on the list. You can do the other stuff next time you "have at it."
Nobody can do it all at one time, unless as one poster said they were young and just moved and by golly they weren't going to rest until it was finished. But most people cannot do all the stuff in a house at ANY time... it's an ongoing thing. You have to be able to turn off the "I'm perfect" switch, only pay attention to your most important items by whatever measure you choose, and do those over only one to three days' time. Wait until next month to do more.
One of my favorite books on this topic is Getting Things Done by David Allen.
While it is primarily written toward executives in the work environment the concepts can be adapted to our homes.
It has a great flow chart that helps to simplify the decision making process and that is often the key to eliminating the feeling of being overwhelmed for me.
My library carries it, maybe yours does too.
I hope that you soon find your way to a less stressful home.
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