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As a mother-in-law to 3 daughters-in-law, I will tell you that it isn't unusual for brides to want to make their new nest homey and attractive. Hopefully you can work togethe on the budget for any changes with an understanding that more can be done at some future date when funds allow. I think you will be fine....just communicate clearly and come up with a plan together...and remember that you love each other....and I say who cares where the bed goes...enjoy yor life together.
I had my bed under an 8' long window for over 20 years, ever since we moved here because it was the only way we could my husbands large dresser in the room. The window was set high and our headboard was low enough to fit under it with about 2" to spare but the bed faced the bedroom and bathroom doors and it always felt cramped and awkward to me. When my husband and I split and he moved out, taking the dresser with him. I bought a pretty new headboard and moved it to a sold wall on the side of the room. Now I can stand in front of the window and look out and the bed doesn't face the bathroom or hallway anymore. It feels cozy AND more spacious at the same time.
Yeah, I agree with your strategy. She kind of wants everything all at once, I agree about doing it over time. I am not bashing her either, I love this woman and I would only be too happy to if I had the $, but I am struggling like everyone else. I realize I am putting myself at risk to be a called a selfish ******* like country girl did or whatever her name was, but in addition to new bedroom furniture, she wants the bedroom walls painted, new toilet-vanity-floor for one of the bathrooms, just finished having the upstairs bathroom done for 9k, new dining room set, new stove top (which is pretty important), new fridge (current one works fine), new washer and dryer (ditto). She wants all this before the wedding in May. Also just paid the ring off (6k) and am still looking at the wedding expenses.
Long story short, there is a lot going on financially, which is why I guess I stress over the little things like the bed placement. If being concerned about financial things makes me less quality husband material or selfish or raises too many red flags, than so be it, but I don't think it is a crime to have financial concerns in today's environment.
This is concerning. The way you start a relationship is super important. The financial aspect needs to be straightened out. She shouldn't be expecting so much from you financially in such a short time period. You need to sit down with her and talk about a budget. Let her know how much money she can spend each month on decorating. If you only have an extra $100/month, she'll realize that she needs to get creative or get a job if she wants thousands of dollar worth of stuff. But it's super important you have this conversation NOW. You can't let her walk around thinking that there is unlimited money.
In my first marriage I gave into her on everything.
Sit her down and talk about being reasonable, responsible, living within ones means, not keeping up with her friends, etc. If she will not agree to work with you, then have no children and start saving for the divorce. Best the marriage end early on so you can get over her and move on to bigger and better.
Now back to the bed placement. I have a hard time getting up when it is dark so I want light pouring into the room thus I would never block a window. If needed/wanted to sleep while day light, then one could block the window light with drapes, etc.
Hope this helps.
Last edited by Ultrarunner; 12-26-2012 at 06:01 PM..
Reason: Mod Cut
I am looking at getting married in about 4 months. My fiance will be moving into the house I currently live in, it has always been in my families name, it used to be my parents. To say she wants to rearrange a few things are putting it lightly. In her defense, I know she wants it to feel like home and not just like my parents old home, but it sometimes is tough for me too when I have always been happy with the way things are and most of the stuff she wants to do involves spending lots of my money.
The question I am wondering about is in regard to the king size bed in the bedroom. She wants to turn the bed around 180 degrees in the interest of better accomadating new bedroom furniture and a TV. In that case, the head of the bed will now be up against a wall that has a window. It will not be blocking the window, but will definitely be right next to it as it is a king size bed and not a huge bedroom. I rarely, if ever, have seen the head of the bed up against a wall with a window. She of course is showing me all kinds of online examples and thinks it is completely normal. I thought I read somewhere it is not good feng shui, although I am not so sure I go along with all that. Not to mention the bed would now be very tightly squeezed up against a radiator on one side. I have always slept in beds up against the wall with no windows, I have never seen that in person.
Long story short, I am not happy with the change and she thinks I am making a big deal over nothing. Any thoughts out there on the subject? We are both pretty stubborn and I am almost just willing to try it to avoid any uneeded stress (enough of that preparing for a wedding!) Thanks
My thought is that your headboard should be against the west wall so that your facing east when the sun comes up. Also, you have to take into consideration WHERE you live. Because if you live in a cold climate, you are going to be really cold with the bed right in front of the window like that (invest in some thick, insulated drapes, if you do).
Just saying also, that according to the experts on sleep hygiene, having a television in the bedroom is not a good idea for good sleeping patterns.
I can relate to your anxiety over the amount of money your future wife wants to spend and can only suggest that maybe you guys do the improvements yourselves. Even though it is an investment it is still unwise to go into debt shortly after your married. Maybe you can compromise...
I agree. A window is not preferable unless you have no other choices. Have you tried pacing your bed at an angle, I did that in a small room, it made it feel bigger...but mine is only queen size. King sized beds are challenging.
Definitely a sign of things to come if you are butting heads on this kind of issue. She may need to be reminded that you are having to make a lot of adjustments, and need her to slow down a bit on the changes regarding the house...Give her the kitchen to rearrange, and get a home decorating program for your computer...and play w/ the room arrangements..Do this together. You could also take some pics, and let folks give you input...than share those w/ her. Good uck on your situation..Have a Happy Marriage...both have to compromise, and have input...sharing is a big part...
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