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Old 03-08-2014, 12:14 PM
 
Location: In the city
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I keep seeing that people insist on having a "man cave" which apparently is a place where you park the DH or boyfriend in front of the TV and he drinks beer or watches sports.

This disturbs me. First, where is the "woman cave" where I can have my hair done, have my girlfriends over for wine and cheese? Second, are our spouses such a problem that we really need a whole designated space to put them where they won't bother us?

Obviously I am no fan of this concept, so I will put that right out there. I don't get it. Anyone have any insights?
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Old 03-08-2014, 12:37 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
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I can't imagine paying enough heed to real estate shows on TV to get disturbed by them. They're all pretty bogus.
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Old 03-08-2014, 12:45 PM
 
Location: In the city
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maf763 View Post
I can't imagine paying enough heed to real estate shows on TV to get disturbed by them. They're all pretty bogus.
Though I have seen this on HGTV, I have also seen a bunch of posters on here talking about having or wanting these.
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Old 03-08-2014, 01:11 PM
 
Location: Free From The Oppressive State
29,444 posts, read 21,922,216 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by confusedasusual View Post
I keep seeing that people insist on having a "man cave" which apparently is a place where you park the DH or boyfriend in front of the TV and he drinks beer or watches sports.

This disturbs me. First, where is the "woman cave" where I can have my hair done, have my girlfriends over for wine and cheese? Second, are our spouses such a problem that we really need a whole designated space to put them where they won't bother us?

Obviously I am no fan of this concept, so I will put that right out there. I don't get it. Anyone have any insights?
I've known people who have these "man caves". Their marriage was perfectly fine, it wasn't about finding a place to "get away from" their spouse, it was about having a place to just be a man. It's not even just for guys, as obviously when I was invited over, females were allowed to hang out in there.

I don't quite know how to explain it to you, except to say that there was nothing about it that was "trying to get away" from anyone. It actually felt more like a mutual respect thing on both parties in the marriage. I don't see it much different than anything guys have done for as far back as can be remembered. In the olden days, I guess they just hung out in the garage and tinkered with things. Now, they have their "man caves" where they hang out, drink if they want, just do whatever.

There's nothing wrong with partners having their own space. Frankly, I find it healthy.
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Old 03-08-2014, 01:13 PM
 
6,293 posts, read 9,938,967 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by confusedasusual View Post
I keep seeing that people insist on having a "man cave" which apparently is a place where you park the DH or boyfriend in front of the TV and he drinks beer or watches sports.

This disturbs me. First, where is the "woman cave" where I can have my hair done, have my girlfriends over for wine and cheese? Second, are our spouses such a problem that we really need a whole designated space to put them where they won't bother us?

Obviously I am no fan of this concept, so I will put that right out there. I don't get it. Anyone have any insights?
The woman cave is the rest of the house lol We have a game room/man cave because I don't want to deal with dh's video games.
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Old 03-08-2014, 01:30 PM
 
7,760 posts, read 15,175,205 times
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One of the things my husband wants in his man cave is shaggy carpet-- which I... despise to say the least and would never ever have it installed in the house. It's just a place where he'd have all his gadgets, the rest of the family could still use it. It's just the one room he gets to have more (or all) say in designing.

The female version of this... like the PP, is the rest of the house, but there's also the "craft room". There's actually nothing saying you can't have your very own "Ma'am Cave"-- go for it if you want.
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Old 03-08-2014, 01:31 PM
 
Location: WMHT
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Default So now it's wrong to give the man total control over decor in even a single room of the house?

For many couples, the idea of a "man cave" is to for the husband have control over decor in one room of the house, a place where framed movie posters and old football trophies aren't hidden in the back of a closet.

Quote:
I don't see it much different than anything guys have done for as far back as can be remembered. In the olden days, I guess they just hung out in the garage and tinkered with things. Now, they have their "man caves" where they hang out, drink if they want, just do whatever.
Friend of mine got married a few years ago, bought a house last spring. Monday his wife announced that she saw these great ideas in a magazine, and they were going to "make over" the garage, paint it white, epoxy the floor, install curtains, move the sawhorses and table saw out to the unheated shed in the back of the yard where the lawnmower takes up the majority of the floor space. Easier for him to go along than to fight it.

So no, given time, even the garage isn't safe.
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Old 03-08-2014, 01:47 PM
 
Location: In the city
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I guess if there are two people who can't agree on decor that makes sense. I just have never heard it used in that way, but always as a male getaway for huge tvs and having the boys over.

I have never been involved with anyone who had very strong ideas about how a place should be decorated. Judging from where they lived before they met me, decor was the last thing on their mind.
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Old 03-08-2014, 01:53 PM
 
415 posts, read 730,239 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spazkat9696 View Post
The woman cave is the rest of the house lol We have a game room/man cave because I don't want to deal with dh's video games.
yep'' been married 19 year n have 2 kids.... My space was the Garage at our old house and is the Basement and attached garage at this house... the rest of the house is her retreat...some times she will find something she isn't sure what she do with in Her house, so she will move it to MY work area...put it right on my bench.. I will move it several times in my area and after one week I toss it... that fixes that...It works out..
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Old 03-08-2014, 02:36 PM
 
Location: here
24,866 posts, read 34,561,507 times
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In general, I think women usually have more say in the whole house. The man is relegated to one room, usually in the basement, where he can have his man decor without it being out in the open for everyone to see.

I've heard other couples talk about "his room" and "her room." They want to watch different shows at the same time or whatever. We don't really function that way. If we ever have an extra room in the basement it will be a family room or space where the kids can hang out.
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