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Sounds like your husband won't "allow" quite a few things. You sure are easy on him. So he is an Engineer and the Fire Chief? I don't think the majority of people would be willing to camp like this for so many years. I am stunned you haven't figured this out and you need to ask how to live there. Good luck.
I am stunned as well.
3 years of cleaning the in-laws' bathroom, washing their dishes, going outside to pee, and working several jobs to live over a garage with couple huskies while my husband does't allow this or that or the other. Yikes!
The honeymoon would have worn off a long time ago for me.
However, the OP has made it clear that she prefers to live this way, that living in a trailer would be too cramped, etc.
Now that the hot water kettle has solved the dishwashing dilemma, perhaps that is all she wants from this discussion.
You have mentioned peeing in buckets and hauling water to the garage for washing dishes. If it was no different than any house with an upstairs room, you wouldn't be asking for suggestions here.
How do you cook?
The hole family has to fill jugs for drinkable water, the well is bad. It's really no different carrying it to the house then to where we are. Although it is a hassle going upstairs with it. But I have to do that anyway when cleaning our fish tank. Really it's exercise lol.
The only reason I ask for an alternative to using the restroom is i simply don't want to go into the house. It's gross. Plus if anyone is sleeping i wake them up when I come through the front door. And I cant pee if someone can hear me. The door has such a crack that the sound echoes throughout the house even when a tv is on. Super self conscious about using bathrooms. I was thinking it would be simpler on me to use a portable urinal (I have to help elders and they do it!)
It is the exact same, but I choose to avoid going into the main house. If it was a more pleasant place where I can cook/do dishes and use the restroom in peace, it's the exact same as staying in a two story home aside from having to walk down a set of stairs that is outside and going through a front door.
I cook with a hot plate, have a microwave and convection oven. Also have a blender for my veggie/fruit meals. Lately since I've been working so much I don't even cook. I also try not to over-eat to save as much as possible. If hubby gets hungry he eats whatever they are cooking downstairs. I sometimes nibble from his plate but I don't really like meats all that much and they tend to favor beef.
Apparently most on this forum have no idea what frugal means. Don't ever meet my father, he's even worse then me (he doesn't even use his heater/ac and uses buckets of water from running the tub to flush the toilet!) he actually is the top person on the least amount of energy usage in his hole area. I think his electric bill runs around $25-30.
Kirinafa, if the life you describe of going downstairs, outside and then back inside to use a filthy bathroom, hauling dirty dishes into your in-laws' home and then doing their crusty dishes as well as yours, hauling drinking water, etc.... and paying $200 - $300/month, plus cleaning duties in exchange for this, if all this works for you, then pay no attention to our spendthrift suggestions. Sounds as if having heat and AC is an improvement over the "frugal" household you grew up in.
Now that the hot pot kettle has solved the dish dilemma, you may want to invest ways to make going to the bathroom more comfortable.
You could use a potty chairs such as your clients use, these are often available at very cost when an elderly person no longer needs it. Or for less than $75 you could purchase a portable toilet that would be more odor free and less constant fuss.
I see by your previous posts that you have grand plans for your new home, dog washing station in the laundry room, etc. If you can achieve this goal of a spacious comfortable home without a mortgage, more power to you. If this takes another couple of years living frugally, I say go for it.
It's your life. You get to live it the way you want.
I must say, I have some concerns about a couple building a house on their own who in three years have not been able to figure out how to sanitize dishes by heating up water in a hot pot and whose solution to going to the bathroom involves peeing outdoors or the uncomfortable process of going inside their in-laws' home.
Housebuilding is a series of solving problems. Costly mistakes can be avoided by hiring those with experience and expertise.
I lived in Alaska and know a number of people who built their own cabins and homes. Many of them have had ongoing problems with roofs, foundations and everything in between. Many of these problems could have been avoided by hiring competent architects and builders.
Aren't incinerating/composting toilets (for camping) fairly affordable and readily available? Because the "bucket" thing even makes me -- as frugal as I am -- cringe.
The bathroom issue can be easily solved, I can walk alittle bit more distance and use the firehouse. I pretty much spend most of my time over there anyway. I wouldn't get an actual toilet, but a handheld container. Empty it either in a designated spot or do what my hubby does, throw it off the balcony where he does his business anyway. For #2 I can go to the house and do that when I take a shower. No one will hear me then. Or again go to the firehouse and provide my own tp so I'm not using theirs.
It's not that I havent "figured out" these things, I tried to use the house for as long as I could. I would much rather use a dishwasher then to do it by hand. But now I would like to become more independent and use other methods to using the main house.
P.s it would still cost a lot more to rent. The in laws have their name on his bank account and would take the money out that way. He finally had his dad's name taken off. They haven't took rent from us in months. They know we are trying to get out on our own. Since they haven't took our rent in awhile I try to clean downstairs when I can.
It's not that they are bad people, they just have lower cleaning standards as most of us. Much like how I have lower spending habits then others. Even though I don't like it, I need to learn to accept other people's views (much like how all of you do!) not everyone thinks alike nor acts alike.
Hubby is pretty dead set on getting a shed and converting it now. It's a rent to own, 450 a month. Would have to install electricity, lights, bathroom.. It'll be over 15k when we are done. It'll be smaller then what we are living in now. Will certainly have to look at little houses and see what can be done about space. This will set us back afew years for the house. Not happy about that since I want a baby.
I think that the OP is heroic, working 3 part time jobs and living in this manner. I would not have the drive to do such a thing. I think that she should also take some time to reflect on the reality of her situation:
You cannot qualify for a loan to purchase, you are working like a slave, you intend to build without a loan (for which you cannot qualify) but a $15k expenditure sets you back years in savings (how long will you struggle to build this house?) the engineer DH who intends to "build" his own home cannot build and outfit a SHED without resorting to modular and rent-to-own which is driving the cost up by 300%. There are obviously additional issue with in-laws on bank accounts (is your money in there too? Do you have access to your own savings?), small town/rural poverty, access to resources.
Is DH employed? You need to establish some financial stability before having children (which will eliminate your 3 jobs/earnings) and spending all of your money on building a custom stick built house will not accomplish that. Dragging a used single/doublewide modular to your land is a much better use of your very limited resources and doesn't involve the risk of betting everything on DHs "skills." A doublewide will be very comfortable for years and will not prevent you from building custom in your future. If your life savings is $15k and you have been saving for years, you should not build a custom home at your current income level.
I agree that they are to be applauded! Good old American ingenuity and self-sacrifice for a greater good. I guess the majority would rather see them sitting around in Section 8 housing on the taxpayers' dime. Sad commentary!
But... always a but... one of the things I find odd, that no one has mentioned, is that the very first thing you build on your new lot... is a fence for a dog you don't even have yet?!?
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