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There are so many posts here along the lines of "I have one bathroom for 5 people, no one needs more than that" and "I dislike open floor plans, no one should have them" and "I don't entertain, so it's unreasonable for someone to want enough space in their home for guests" and "I like my older kitchen with formica and oak a cabinets so no one should have cherry and granite" and so on and so on.
Is it really so threatening that others have different tastes and preferences? Just because someone likes a different style doesn't mean your style is wrong, just different.
And if people say they feel insulted if someone says "I'd never live in a house with one bathroom" - guess what, if saying something different from what you have is an insult, then you are insulting people too, when you say things like "no one should ever replace oak cabinets with something else."
Personally, I think it's great that there are all different types of houses, and different styles of finishes. Just like furniture, people do not have to like the same things and that's ok.
Why not be respectful of other people's choices instead being so negative and mocking of them?
For some reason, people are quite self-centered these days. This may be due to texting on cell phones instead of interacting with real people in person - people become out of touch with reality.
Anyway "walk in my shoes" is something people do not seem to understand anymore.
Because most people think they are special and somehow were blessed with the only good taste in the world, or are major conformists with limited first-hand exposure to others who live and think differently than they do.
When someone ASKED for an opinion about something, my mother, if she did not like it would always say "well, it is not my taste, but, if you like it that's what is important".
Maybe this thread would be better suited in the Psychology Forum...
^^^ +++
Yep, this isn't the "group hug" forum.
Part of the flavor of the responses does come from defensiveness, like the OP mentioned, but a lot of the supposed negativity comes from experience, reality, and basic science. As a kid, I thought having a castle would be cool. I quickly came to recognize that a castle would be a pain in the tukkus and expensive. I then designed a big winged ski chalet that got me an A+ in art class when I built a model, but even as I built the model I saw huge flaws. As I have lived in different homes and seen how people lived in others I saw more and more problems. I'll likely continue to note problem areas and refine my views as I age.
People who come to forums OFTEN have completely unrealistic understandings of the consequences of their actions. It can take a lot of energy to push some of them into even beginning to re-examine their personal biases, and peer pressure can be a powerful force for good. All of us have our biases and opinions, and I know that I fight internal battles every day with mine. Currently I'm fighting with myself whether to mount an OTA antenna on the roof or as a stand-alone pole. My internal battles over safety, appearance, lightning and windstorm considerations, reception requirements, and other factors are vicious. Disputes are part of the very nature of values clarification, whether internal or external.
Could people be nicer? Of course. But then differing points of view would be less clear and the service to others less. In open forums, you have to develop a bit of a thick skin and recognize that an attack against an idea is NOT a personal attack against an individual. If someone wants to build a 12' square deck using only 2x4 joists, that idea is completely idiotic - whether or not the person suggesting it is an idiot or not. If someone is happy with a single bathroom for five or more people (like I grew up with) it is not being negative to point out that if the family gets food poisoning s*** is going to happen in the rush for relief.
I might hesitate to point out that in the interest of diversity we all have different styles of writing.
"Why not be respectful of other people's choices instead being so negative and mocking of them? "
I think a lot of this I like/don't like x subject is personal preference. When I buy a house I buy it for my and my family's needs. I don't much worry about what someone thinks about my personal choices
Location: East Central Pennsylvania/ Chicago for 6yrs.
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I am from the Northeast and live back near my hometown again. But I did live on Chicago a few years. They did not do Row homes. Very few of should say as PA. and Northeast. I did like Chicago's their street grid choice of a full alley system and Power lines through there. Freeing the fronts for green space, tree-lined streets and front lawns through much of the city's, especially the Bungalow belt. A Philly poster once called QUASI-SUBURBAN. I tend to agree. But without the sprawl.
In the East most older small towns have Rows. Philly is Row home central with 300,000 Row homes. If I am in a Philly thread and say ...I'm not fond of tight plain Rows on narrow streets? I GET SOME HATE... No welcome and a.... get lost LOL. I can say NOT LL I DISLIKE? COLONIALS ARE GREAT, VICTORIANS. But does not matter.
People have an enormous emotional entanglement with their homes; home isn't "just" a place to live, people often see it as a reflection of who they are, their self-worth, their taste, financial situation, family, etc. Some people are just rigid and dogmatic, and have different priorities about what is important.
I grew up in a lovely old 1750's colonial in mid-state NY. I loved that house, but now I live in a tiny bungalow that I also love. The house is never the issue, rather it is the person's interpretation of what that house means to them. Wherever we go, there we are. At least that is how I see it
I just spent 120k+ on a home remodel... Yay, me... I am going to cry in the bed now... seriously, who knew home remodeling would be so expensive... To think it all started with, let's change some flooring...
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