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Old 07-03-2015, 04:07 PM
 
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
4,640 posts, read 11,903,321 times
Reputation: 9885

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Uggh, I'm in the midst of such a dilemma. I currently own a house in a great location with a very low mortgage and about $100,000 equity. I'm not happy with the house or the HOA. However, I cannot afford to move because any house that I would want would require a much larger mortgage and I definitely don't want to do that.

Also, our house will require about $30,000 worth of work in the next 5 years. I keep careful records and I know that we are going to need a new roof, new appliances, new heat pump, etc. The plan had always been to sell the house and get out before these more expensive repairs were needed. We have savings for this, but we are so tired of house maintenance.

Originally, my husband and I had planned to sell everything and relocate and rent. We don't want the headache of home ownership. We have met our goal. We can do this. We could probably do this without selling our current house. Although, the cash out of this house would definitely make life easier for us.

The problem is our 3 almost grown kids. Two are in college (they commute and live at home) and we have a high schooler. The two in school want to stay in the state they grew up in. The youngest is up for a change. Our two older kids have never asked us to not move. They plan to get roommates or something.

My dilemma is that our area is one of the highest cost of living areas. Their current jobs will not even allow them to rent with roommates. There's no way they can afford to live here, UNLESS they stay in our house. They are responsible kids, have demonstrated fiscal responsibility, etc.

I was talking to other retirees in my town and they shared that they keep a "family house" for the adult kids to take care of and then the parents do their thing (move, relocate, whatever they want). Some of these houses are apparently generational. I guess this explains the cost and shortage of housing.

Just curious, but would you consider a family house?
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Old 07-03-2015, 04:59 PM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,331 posts, read 80,658,912 times
Reputation: 57341
You have to do what's best for you, and your responsibilities for them ended at age 18. If they are doing well in college, however, I'd put it off until they graduate. It's not easy to work full time and go to college full time as I did long ago. If your adult kids can't afford to be on their own after college, you can still welcome them in coming with you to wherever you go, and it's their choice after that. Living in a high cost area means having a high paying job, if they can manage to land good jobs they can always move back on their own then. Can you sell the house and rent a smaller one in the same area for now, or would the rent be more than your mortgage & taxes? (ours would be)
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Old 07-03-2015, 05:07 PM
 
23,563 posts, read 70,158,065 times
Reputation: 49102
Nope. Part of the maturing process is fighting the battles, including finding housing.

What you MIGHT consider is a private sale or lease to buy sale, so that they can lease the place jointly and be responsible for maintenance and then have the lease payments count towards the purchase when their credit is good enough to get a mortgage (with a time limit for that to happen). The payments could go straight into a retirement account for you.
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Old 07-03-2015, 07:52 PM
 
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
4,640 posts, read 11,903,321 times
Reputation: 9885
Thanks for the suggestions.

Hemlock140: No, we can't afford to rent in this area. Renting would cost us about $900-$1000 more per month than my mortgage. And that will get us an older townhouse (currently have a single family) in a not-so-great neighborhood. The townhouse is probably as small as we can go because there aren't many apartments that will allow my large-breed dog. The ones that will are even more expensive than said townhouse.

I'm still exploring my options. The oldest will start his senior year in the fall and then 2nd oldest is 2 years behind. I'm hoping the oldest will find a well-paying job right after school, but who knows?

HarryChickpea: We actually floated the idea out there of them buying the house. They have no desire to be homeowners at this point in their lives.
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Old 07-03-2015, 08:15 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
I think that thinking of it as a "family home" is not going to help your situation.

I would stay put, use your savings to make the necessary upgrades so you don't have deferred maintenance, and sell when your youngest graduates.

You will get more for the house, you'll be able to make guilt-free retirement decisions, and your kids won't be saddled with a home they are not ready for. But they won't be out on the street either.
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Old 07-03-2015, 11:14 PM
 
23,563 posts, read 70,158,065 times
Reputation: 49102
"We actually floated the idea out there of them buying the house. They have no desire to be homeowners at this point in their lives."

They just gave you all the answer you need.
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Old 07-03-2015, 11:29 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles>Little Rock>Houston>Little Rock
6,489 posts, read 8,786,235 times
Reputation: 17514
My parents kept a family home. All of us were welcome to come back to the house if necessary. I did once or twice for a brief period of time. My sister, her husband, and kids lived there permanently as did my other sister who never moved out on her own. My oldest brother kept coming back as he did not want to work.

Once both parents died the family home was sold and we all scattered.
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