Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian_M
You see questions, I see maybe rhetorical question (and they aren't questions *I* have ever asked).
I've worked night shift while living alone, still had a social life. I also had a fairly routine sleep schedule so I was always up by 6pm and could Be social in the evenings.
As for a "house", at the root it's basic shelter to survive. Beyond that it's a place to prepare meals (and store ingredients), also needed for survival... past that, it's a place to store junk. You can make it aesthetically pleasing to Your eye, and call your junk by other names (art, furniture, hobbies, whatever ~ it's all junk in the end), but that doesn't change what it is. ANY shelter with a place to prepare and store food will do the same thing for you. Yes, some have dedicated "junk" rooms for "junk" activities (I have one that holds workout equipment and a big project table for sewing and small project building/repair ~ it's still a junk room for junk activities), which is handy if you frequent those activities, but hardly necessary.
I think You are the root of your issues. You are the common denominator between apartments, rental house and new construction. If you don't change Yourself, the environment certainly won't change you. That's why people can move half way around the world and find that nothing changes in their life. It's not the location, it's the attitude. I've personally fought this for a good portion of my life, having moved 11 times in 12 years really brought it into focus.
Good luck figuring it out, heck good luck just getting through the first step of accepting that the Root issue is you, not where you sleep at night.
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Well, stated that way, it's a way of seeing the home more as a barracks and less as a home. It was sort of the problem I was running into in the apartment and then apartments in the latter years where situations and circumstances transformed them at times into a place that drained energy instead of re-energizing me.
For example, being able to load from, unload to a garage is a lot less energy draining than doing it from an apartment. Between pulling things out of closets, carrying them around corners, assembling them, carrying them around more corners in the trip to/from the car was a very long, tiresome process.
I won't go much into the night shift life, for that is a bailiwick, except to note two things. First, it gets very difficult when, for one reason or another, one never has a fixed sleep schedule. Secondly, it is rather hard to be sociable when while everyone else is winding down, you are winding up.
As to what activities I am hoping to do on the house scale? I want to work on algae fuel cells (think that says it all without needing to go further details).
Other than that, well, the "root issue" is rather what I was asking about. Now whether it is a point of indoctrination such as we have TV show after TV show which shows us how people "are suppose to live in houses" or the conditioning we get from friends such as those who tell us "I would never live in an apartment" or be it something else, well who knows.
Some elements may have fallen into place such as I haven't ordered a pizza since I moved into the interim house. Now, living in a house doesn't say "Thou shall not order" for I see those delivery cars go up and own the road. Despite that there are other reasons that stop me from ordering pizza (it's a $30 meal and easy to have eyes bigger than the tummy when ordering), that in that very powerful moment of hunger and easy access, it is probably that unsaid house reason that stops the thought. Assuming it is a "house reason", then what that says to me is unknown. Of course, it just may be that ordering pizza was part of the rut that apartment living had become and as said, I am trying to avoid returning to that.
It may sound ridiculous but think about it for a moment of how much effort some people put into designing their kitchens. They wouldn't do that, would they, if they weren't going to cook there. As it is, in the design, I have asked for an overhead, over the island, pot rack. My builder has told me to start looking for the appliances such as the stove, microwave, and refrigerator (which might turn into a split freezer type (what my belly dancing teacher has)). One thing is for certain; I am very glad to be away from galley kitchens!
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe
First of all, I think you're really tired. And you're learning the lesson anyone learns who has had construction work done - add 2/3 time to your worst case scenario for it to get done.
Other than that, the difference will be having space you didn't have before, the ability to do what you want with your own yard and home, get the pets you want, and have more quiet and never have to move as long as you pay your bills.
It won't turn you into a different person. But, you don't have to use your space in any way that involves other people if you don't want to. There's no requirement for someone with a big house to fill it with people.
So, try to take a deep breath, realize that this will take longer than you'd hoped, and that the boxes can wait. Sleep is more important.
Also, moving is one of the most stressful things people go through, right up there with divorce and death of a loved one and changing jobs. So, give yourself a break.
And did I mention getting some sleep?
And enjoy your new home when it's done :-)
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Well, it may turn me into a different person or at least, playing more of the character I like better. Actually, that was one of those rut things when living in the apartments in that I would spend night after night seeing the wonderful world on the Net, seeing repetitive TV of very positive world and people.......and then go home to an apartment in Central Texas in the harsh daylight. What a let down!
So one of the ways I lessen the blahness, when I need to, is to invoke, oh let's call her "Stewart", an intergalactic spy who could see the house as a safe house she is maintaining on some primitive planet.
As it is, as my house to be is sort of in the shape of this man's house,
http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/...20150715093806 , I have pictured at times living like that in it.........without the bearskin rug and rabbit mind you.......when I am not seeing myself finding a meditative peace.
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy
Congrats on your purchase Tamara and kudos for being a female and doing it on your own. Yes it will be way different then living in an apartment where you can call the land lord to do all of he repairs.
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Thank you.
That kind of preparation I've been doing for about 2-3 years. For example, a number of years ago, another dancer I know....and a horsewoman, was practically in tears one night because she was inbetween shifts and her well was leaking. So one of the things I did later was buy as many plumbing emergency fixtures I could when a hardware store was having a going out of business sale. Those...and i have a few thick books (Popular Mechanics, Reader's Digest) about how to do emergency repairs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy
I feel your pain of working the midnight shift and I'm happy that it's all behind me now. It is difficult to socialize unless you socialize with the other night owls who think that 9pm is really our high noon.
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Well, a "good" thing is that I can visit the building site frequently, very frequently, since when they work, I'm off shift.
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy
........There are houses and there are homes. It doesn't matter the size or how many have lived there before. It just becomes yours.........
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True enough and that may be part of the issue right now. Since the interim house is an inbetween and a rental, it's only partially moved in. The drive has been not to unpack all the way. So maybe that is communicating previous aftermath moving feelings......and the stress associated with such.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NOLA2SGF
Why not up your budget for an already-built house, to the "bit more expensive" level that you intend to spend on this newly built house? Seems like you're comparing apples with oranges. Plus, from what I hear, when you build a house it is usually twice the price and takes twice as long as expected.
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Well, a couple of things. First of all, I'm already bought land and well drilled into the project already. Secondly, houses on very small lots, such as under an acre, I find very distressing. Third, an already built house would probably mean inside city limits and probably with restrictions against such things like having an outside bread stove and types of food growing. Fourth, as I said above, I bought the ranch because I want to look into algae fuel cells.
Essentially, though, when my sister in law at the time suggested buying a built house, I practically freaked when I saw all those houses on 1/4 acre lots with barely any space in between them.
Then, there is another issue, a point that not only caused me to start this thread but also that I had to contest with a brother and causes stress points, unknowingly, each time my yard service owner says "Why don't you sell me your ranch, I'll give you a good price.". As far as the last one goes, it's one of those things where one wants to yell, "STOP IT! I DON'T LIKE IT THAT YOU CONTINUE TO ASK WHEN I'VE SAID NO!".....but of course, one must be diplomatic for it is a small community and word travels if one is not.
It's not only giving up on a dream, it is essentially pigeon holing myself. It is living in an environment where one is expected to do certain things or, if not that, not to do other things. It is potentially putting myself at risk about Home Owner Associations.
In the case of my brother who suggested, when my apartment lease didn't renew, that I sell the ranch and take a manufactured home on 2-4 acres of land, it was something too simple for my needs, too small of a lot for my needs, and in the wrong kind of atmosphere. One of the reasons why I didn't go for land around a lake is I don't want to be in that constant party type atmosphere..........as it was, I do believe the house he suggested didn't fair well in the floods we had in 2015.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NOLA2SGF
You do whatever you want to do.  I like living in a house, instead of an apartment, for so many reasons, for example: because the noise of the upstairs neighbor's footsteps don't bug me; because I can park my car in a convenient place when I have tons of groceries to haul inside; because I can change things however I want; and simply because it is mine. |
Well, one of the things learned from renting is that one spends the money without having anything to show for it in the end. As noted above, there is the ease of unloading/loading when there is a garage handy. I suppose if I ever get the garage cleared enough, I could even put the Forester in the garage. That, however, is one of the issues of going for an already-built house; the F250 is too tall to fit into the garages of houses that were built in the mid 90's.
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