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You're only an hour away....how about all-day Saturday outings a couple days a month where you do fun stuff with the kids and eat at your favorite places? Or meet your spouse for lunch during the week "in town"...do date nights once a month in town?
If the schools are actually bad and the kids aren't attached yet you can sniff around to see if you'd lose money selling so soon...otherwise I'd say to just buck up and learn a lesson for your next move - don't let a SINGLE issue be the sole reason to make a decision - look at the whole picture.
I really don't feel like I was whining! More like expressing unhappiness in a anonymous way since I can't really voice this to my husband/family and asking for advice. This town has no groups.. no real community.. a PTA that's not very active. It's very isolating.. anyway just asking for advice from sympathetic people who have been in this situation or might have some ideas. Not looking for snark or cheap shots at an unhappy mom.. thanks.
If you can't even talk to your husband about it, then he probably doesn't share your negative opinion about this town. You're stuck. Better find a way to make the best of it and forge your own sort of interests out of what appears to be bleakness. There's always things an imaginative person can find to do, wherever they may be. Maybe you can pull some other unhappy residents along with you and make them happier, as well. Don't expect a rewarding way of life to be laid our neatly in front of you. You have to be an originating participant in it.
It doesn't sound like an actual community. Perhaps you made a bad choice. Make a family plan and try again. There is no failure in knowing something is wrong for you, admitting it, selling, & getting something else. It's a whole lot better to cut your losses & get on with life in a place you want to be. You've been there long enough to know. Good luck.
Maybe I will consider renting it out if I talk to my husband! Thanks!
Hopefully that can be an options. I'm 54 and life is short , so enjoy it and realize, others point of views on this matter are just that! You know your situations, no need to explain yourself or your life to complete strangers! ... Peace Out! Happy Mother's day.... ...
Sorry I'm not sure if this is the right area to be posting. But I recently relocated from a city to A town about an hour away that feels more like the country. When we were looking to buy a house we were really just thinking about the house itself and good schools. Now that I've lived here for about nine months I feel not happy I miss being near the city and all that it had to offer. I've also found that the schools are not as good as they claim to be. In my town there is no Towncenter there are no public parks really or playgrounds. There are also no restaurants I have to get on the highway to go to a restaurant. I just don't know why I didn't think about this before moving. There have also been some issues with the house that I'm not happy with either. I just feel really regretful about moving here and I know it's a good location for kids but I can't see myself staying here forever. I will be so bored. And I honestly am not really happy with the house we chose either. I would like to move to a town more near the city with lots of public parks and playgrounds and more people and restaurants! But I feel really stuck having just purchased this house last year. I also feel that if we tried to sell we would not make any money or possibly not even get what we paid for it. Anyway I would love some feedback or advice. Have you ever been in this situation? And if so what did you end up doing? Thank you!
NO!! He doesn't, I promise. He just takes everything so personally he would feel like my unhappiness was totally his fault. Then, yes, he would be pretty angry. Just because we saved so long for a house and he claims he IS happy with our life situation. I'm not saying he doesn't have some anger issues but definitely no spousal abuse happening.
Another suggestion: bring him a glass of wine and have a relaxed conversation with him. Just tell him you are finding a mixture of joy and adjustment angst over the move. Joy at being a homeowner but tension about being so far out that you guys don't have much family time on weekdays. Tell him you'd like for you as a couple to take the rest of the year to enjoy the new house but be open to evaluating the tradeoff's in his commute and less family time . There's no need to make this a big deal. Just plant the seed lightly. If he overreacts, just tell him he's overreacting and you are having to learn this new lifestyle and there's never anything wrong with keeping options available.
You simply cannot tiptoe around an emotional man. Just like you might open your mind to discovering ways to enjoy the new situation, he can't be handled like a child because he gets upset and takes things personally. He needs to be your best friend and partner and you just can't have an adult relationship if you try to manage him.
Nope, don't think your marriage is in trouble or you are a complainer or any of the silly stuff others have written!
I disagree, telling someone he is over-reacting is a sure fire way to escalate feelings of resentment. First, she does not govern his feelings. Second, she should not expect her partner to feel exactly as she does. Third, invalidating his emotional reaction may be perceived by him as an attempt to control his emotions (and probably true if she says this to him while he is in the midst of anger).
It isn't anyone's business to judge the state of the OP's marital relationship - this is an online forum, information is incomplete, and no one knows the couple. However, based on the limited information shared by the OP, communication does appear to be an issue that requires further examination by the OP. Maybe it is nothing, but the fact that she feels constrained in sharing her deepest worries with her spouse is a point on which to reflect.
Thanks Goldenlove and thanks to the poster for all the ideas.. but like I said before I am a mom, a teacher, and the primary caretaker for the kids, pets, and house. On weekdays, I am the only adult home until around 9 pm. I have no family close enough to watch the kids and also no money for a babysitter. I'm not complaining that's just my situation. My family has suggested I get hobbies too as have many other posters and I really appreciate all the suggestions. But unless it happens on the weekend it won't work for me. I think once the kids get older I'll have more me time to pursue hobbies and clubs. I never felt like I was boring but reading all of these suggestions and posts I think I might be! 😂 I wonder do other parents of young kids have all this time for independent activities!? I'm clearly not doing something right!
I am inclined to agree.
How many kids and how old?
Thanks Goldenlove and thanks to the poster for all the ideas.. but like I said before I am a mom, a teacher, and the primary caretaker for the kids, pets, and house. On weekdays, I am the only adult home until around 9 pm. I have no family close enough to watch the kids and also no money for a babysitter. I'm not complaining that's just my situation. My family has suggested I get hobbies too as have many other posters and I really appreciate all the suggestions. But unless it happens on the weekend it won't work for me. I think once the kids get older I'll have more me time to pursue hobbies and clubs. I never felt like I was boring but reading all of these suggestions and posts I think I might be! 😂 I wonder do other parents of young kids have all this time for independent activities!? I'm clearly not doing something right!
You were a primary caretaker for the kids, pets, and house before too, your husband worked before too just not till 9.
Did you work before? I guess I'm trying to figure out the differences here.
In town or suburb a primary caretaker mom can feel isolated at home. I suppose in town if they are preschool you can get the park mommy group thing going. Is that what you are missing? Or working as a teacher? Or is it that your husband doesn't get home till 9?
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