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Have you ever had second thoughts about which house you bought? How do I stop driving myself crazy?
How do you stop driving yourself crazy? Maybe by appreciating what you have. These are total first world problems. I'm not usually one to say things like this, but if this house is a whopping 1500 square feet larger than the other house (which doesn't sound like a shack to me), then please remember that some people's homes are actually smaller than 1500 square feet.
Since you love your home and it's perfect for you and your family, you can focus on renovating your backyard and making it what you want.
How do you stop driving yourself crazy? Maybe by appreciating what you have. These are total first world problems. I'm not usually one to say things like this, but if this house is a whopping 1500 square feet larger than the other house (which doesn't sound like a shack to me), then please remember that some people's homes are actually smaller than 1500 square feet.
Since you love your home and it's perfect for you and your family, you can focus on renovating your backyard and making it what you want.
I knew someone would post something like this. I know it's not a "real" problem. That's why I wrote that I am thankful and I am grateful. Also the awesome pool house was 1500 SF smaller than our previous home, roughly 1/3 less.
It's more of a "did I choose the wrong thing" question, which people who have OCD suffer with. It happens whenever I have to make a decision...if I order a chicken sandwich I wonder if I should have ordered the hamburger...that kind of a thing. Telling someone they should just be grateful to have food doesn't help.
Is there room in the yard to upgrade the pool eventually? The pool you want is really expensive but it is also really expensive to add square footage to a small house and to undo bad renovations.
Yes, I think it could be renovated, depending on finances.
I knew someone would post something like this. I know it's not a "real" problem. That's why I wrote that I am thankful and I am grateful. Also the awesome pool house was 1500 SF smaller than our previous home, roughly 1/3 less.
It's more of a "did I choose the wrong thing" question, which people who have OCD suffer with. It happens whenever I have to make a decision...if I order a chicken sandwich I wonder if I should have ordered the hamburger...that kind of a thing. Telling someone they should just be grateful to have food doesn't help.
OCD is a very serious disorder. Lots of people order a burger and think, "Hmmm...but would the chicken sandwich have been better?" That's not OCD.
Choosing between the "perfect but with a regular pool" 4500 square foot home and the "not-so-perfect but has a perfect pool" 3000 square foot home just doesn't sound like a horrible decision to have to make, I guess.
Also, I'm not trying to be judgmental or rude, even though I might come across that way. I guess I just don't know what you expected in response to this post. You didn't ask while you were in the process of buying the house, so you aren't asking for advice about which one you should choose. You're asking for justification that you made the right decision. As you probably already know, by most accounts, you did.
I just answered the question at the end of your post. "How do I stop driving myself crazy about this?"
The only answer I knew to give is "to appreciate what you have." I also said to "enjoy the home that is perfect for your family and to focus on renovating your backyard to make it what you want."
You already bought the house. I doubt you're going to sell it and try to go back and buy the other house if a bunch of people on C-D suddenly tell you that you made the wrong decision.
Also, I'm not trying to be judgmental or rude, even though I might come across that way. I guess I just don't know what you expected in response to this post. You didn't ask while you were in the process of buying the house, so you aren't asking for advice about which one you should choose. You're asking for justification that you made the right decision. As you probably already know, by most accounts, you did.
I just answered the question at the end of your post. "How do I stop driving myself crazy about this?"
The only answer I knew to give is "to appreciate what you have." I also said to "enjoy the home that is perfect for your family and to focus on renovating your backyard to make it what you want."
You already bought the house. I doubt you're going to sell it and try to go back and buy the other house if a bunch of people on C-D suddenly tell you that you made the wrong decision.
I thought perhaps somebody might share a story of a time they felt torn between choices. But gosh, next time I'll be sure to ask you for your approval before I post anything.
We recently purchased a home in a warm weather area in a competitive real estate market. High on our wish list was a stellar backyard pool...you know, one with a built in hot tub and water fall and stonework and a gorgeous patio with outdoor kitchen...the works!
Well we did find that, but the house fell far short of our wish list. It was over 1500 SF smaller than our then current house; the updates were done cheaply; the neighborhood was just so-so; the garage was small and storage was inadequate.
The house we ended up buying had everything on our wish list EXCEPT the pool. We bought a beautiful large home in a lovely neighborhood. The kitchen was just remodeled, the storage is amazing, everything is wonderful. But the pool is just a boring vinyl rectangle pool.
I know compromises have to be made. I know I am fortunate with what we bought. I know I should feel confident and happy and thankful with our decision, but I keep thinking about that other house/pool and wondering if we made the right choice. Maybe this is just my OCD driving me crazy.
Have you ever had second thoughts about which house you bought? How do I stop driving myself crazy?
Always go with the better neighborhood. It's the only thing you can't change.
In Dallas, you can replace the entire backyard as you like for 50-80k
I knew someone would post something like this. I know it's not a "real" problem. That's why I wrote that I am thankful and I am grateful. Also the awesome pool house was 1500 SF smaller than our previous home, roughly 1/3 less.
It's more of a "did I choose the wrong thing" question, which people who have OCD suffer with. It happens whenever I have to make a decision...if I order a chicken sandwich I wonder if I should have ordered the hamburger...that kind of a thing. Telling someone they should just be grateful to have food doesn't help.
I had the same choices this summer. I went with the pool and less house option. Coming from Oregon I dreamed of the California outdoor lifestyle. Sometimes I wish I got a bigger house but when I'm in my pool and well laid out backyard I don't care about the house at all. We'll see how the winter goes.
How important is a pool? Will you use it daily? Is a community pool of health club pool an acceptable alternative?
What is the point of a bigger house? Do you entertain large groups often? Do your family members hate each other so much they cannot stand to sit in the same room? Is cleaning your primary hobby? Does your occupation require that you appear wealthy to clients and/or customers? Do you ahve a massive valuable art colleciton and need a lot of wall space to display it all? Do you work at home and need room for a sizable office?
A pool adds nothing to the value of the house most places or very little in warmer places. Thus you are getting the pool for free or at a discount. More space, better neighborhood etc adds to the value/price, so you pay for it. Thus, the pool is the better bargain - at least until you go to sell the house.
We built a pool, it was very expensive. We used it a lot for 10 years with as many as 20 people in it at a time and it was ll worth it. The last few years, we use it maybe 10 times a year with 1 - 3 people in it usually. We question whether it is even worth the cost of maintaining it, let alone the purchase cost. Sometimes I think we should fill it in and turn the pool space into an aviary. Then I think about grandchildren. Or maybe we will find time to swim more next year.
A bigger house is not always better. I was told this and did not listen. Then i learned it. Your family will be closer and happier if they are forced to do things together and learn to rely upon one another. Big house = no one does anything together. In fact, you rarely know whom if anyone is home or where they might be. Smaller house also forces you to control junk/clutter. If you have fewer things, you will be more selective and only have the better/more useful things. Also your things will be easier to find or notice and you will use them more and not forget about them. I sometimes com across something I have not seen in years and did not even remember we had it. "This is neat. I could have used this all these years, but it sat in this closet unnoticed." also the bigger house quickly becomes outdated. It did not seem that big with seven or eight people living in it, but now with three going on two, it seems ridiculous. The use of the space did not last any longer than the use of the pool did.
"Better" neighborhoods are not always better. Yes, you may have fewer kids around who smoke or shoplift, but you also have more over-scheduled, or snobby, of stressed out (bully) kids around. Many people think "newer" means "better" at least until a windstorm (hurricane, tornado, or just 90 mph winds) come along and suddenly newer is goner.
The coulda would shoulda thing will kill you. If we had waited one or two years, we could have bought an equal house with a dock and still had hundreds of thousands left over for vacations, college, maybe a boat, etc. instead of having our house make us broke and living check to check. IF we waited and bought the first house we looked tat in a lower scale town with no water (but it had an indoor pool!) we might have bought it when it dropped from $360,000 to $44,000. In addition to college, boat & vacation trips, I would be retired by now if I wanted to be. If we would have bought that house 1/4 mile form Grandma and Grandpa, our kids could have hung out with them all the time. They would have known them even better (and been sadder when Mom died). If we would have bought that house in Northville, our twins might well be professional singers, rather than a music teacher and a Psychology PhD candidate (which is better?). However our son woudl not likely have become a national champion rower. You can go round and round until the stress of it makes you dead. On the other hand, had we kept our house in California for another year, we would have likely had to sell it for $350,000 less in order to move. You can second guess everyhting, or you cna choose a path, charge ahead and never look back.
We had the money for both a pool and a bigish house. We used both. The pool had kids in it all summer almost all day every day. Between the pool and the trampoline and fire pit, our house was a popular hang out when the kids were teens. Sleep overs were so common I frequently did not know the kids I found eating breakfast in the kitchen some mornings. We had 21 people for thanksgiving, birthdays and sometimes 30 people for Christmas and could fit about 16 in our dining room comfortably. We had fires in the fireplaces and people flopped all over the floor reading in front of them (or sleeping). So ti was sort of worthwhile and sort of not. We ended up separated more than at our smaller house. Kids would crawl off to any one of three floors to hide away and be moody.I could go a whole week without seeing any of my five kids unless I hunted them down or they came and found me to say hi. We are a close family, but the big house made us less close. I knew less of what was gong on in their lives. During the time we were able to maintain sit down dinners, we had a practice of each telling what was gong on in thier lives. When sit down dinners became impractical because of schedules, we grew apart. People started eating in their rooms, or in the-library or in the game-room, or outside, or in front of the TV. Sometimes my son practices his trumpet and I never hear him (He is so good- professional level- it is a pleasure to hear him practice now). So a big house is a mix of good and bad things, but on the whole, I think a smaller house is better.
Last edited by Coldjensens; 09-13-2017 at 12:48 PM..
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