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I've tried many projects over the years, mostly minor repairs/fixes, and almost all the time they get screwed up and I end up having to call someone to fix it. I am sitting at home as I type this waiting for a guy to show up and install a new showerhead, because following the instructions that came with it resulted in it leaking from every possible place it could leak.
How does one get even moderately good at fixing things around the house? "Learn by doing" is not an option, for two reasons.
1) You don't do the same repair/project often enough to get good at it. Practice might make perfect, but you rarely have the opportunity to do much practicing, as most jobs are one and done.
2) "Learn by doing" means that when I start I don't know what I'm doing, which will result in mistakes that could mess up my house even more than it was when I started. I don't want to cause additional problems trying to fix the first problem.
How does someone learn this stuff? My father didn't teach me much (to be fair, not really his fault, I had no interest as a child and he didn't push it). We didn't have shop class in school, which I assume is where many guys learn this stuff. I've looked at videos online and read how-tos and it sounds easy enouigh but never works out when I actually try to do it.
It pisses me off that I seem incapable of learning even the simplest home repair. It also pissed me off that DIY is so complicated and daunting if you don't already know what you're doing. Why are there 50 different kinds of washers. Why is there an entire aisle of nothing but different kinds of screws? Is there really so much difference in a 1/2" screw and a 7/16" screw that both need to exist?
What I did was a combination of learning from more experienced people, but mostly reading up in manuals like Audels, how to do the job. Buy good tools, cheap tools can make the job damn near impossible to do right. Ideally you would find a good handyman and see if he can teach you rather than just do the job for you.
I think this is why DIY is often synonymous with a job done badly.
Experience and practice is really the only way to become competent. I became able to do these things by taking shop in school, fixing my bicycle as a teenager, working as a tradesman’s helper in high school and college, and taking on a variety of tasks as an adult, along with being a hobbiest woodworker.
Along the way you learn many universal principles. You learn how screws can strip, when to use nails vs screws vs bolts, how tight is good enough. You learn how to measure, that Teflon tape is really useful in plumbing, green is ground, black is supply and white is common. You learn to analyze how something is assembled, and the best method to disassemble without breaking. Pilot holes are your friend, andmanufacturers recomendations for adhesives need to be followed.
You will learn to understand your home as a set of interconnecting systems, which is probably the source of your recent plumbing problem. If a new shower head is leaking in multiple places, you may have twisted and broken the pipe coming out of the wall by applying too much force. It is possible the threads on that pipe were corroded, damaged, or simply not clean when you tried to attach the new head. You may not have used Teflon tape, or wrapped it backwards. Maybe you usedtoo little, or too much. Did you use a wrench to tighten things, or did you try with pliers or vice grips? Did you overtighten?
If you are serious about wanting to learn this stuff, sign up for an adult Ed class with your local community college, high school district, or parks program. Maybe that program is intro woodworking, basics of auto repair, dIY home repairs, whatever. You will learn some specifics, but you will also learn general principles that apply to most jobs. Then practice.
You aren’t alone though. Many of my friends and relatives cannot do any of these things, and he tools they have on hand are not adequate to allow anybody to do the job. You need more than 2 screwdrivers and a pair of slipjaw pliers to do home repairs.
It starts in childhood, when the brain learns manual skills. Kids who have just books, tv, and video games don't have the practical experience of building and making stuff. Medical schools are struggling to make qualified surgeons as students don't have enough manual dexterity.
A lot of the larger home lumberyard/appliances/general plumbing & construction chains hold workshops periodically for DIY or novices who want to learn the skills, or just what a good job looks like & how to do it. Community colleges sometimes do this too - usually more structured & they may charge some nominal fee.
Or you could offer to do sweat equity - to help someone else (who's handy &/or experienced) on a job similar to what you want to do, & learn by doing. Best of luck with it.
Some people are good quarterbacks. Some are good cooks. Some are good writers. Some are handy.
Meh. It is what it is. Accept it and move on.
Well as a young teenager I struggled to work on a simple bicycle. My late Dad was a great welder, but had little aptitude or skill as a mechanic.
But, I *wanted* to learn to wrench. I kept at it.
And then one day, as I was working installing new heater hoses on my old Chevy, I noticed how every clamp was "just so". There really is a Zen process to becoming a good mechanic, or carpenter, or electrician, or plumber. I personally work more as a mechanic on cars and bikes, but I do some house repair/modification/maintenance too.
I have friends who way "it's cool that you can do your own repairs, but I just never could." - I think they simply don't want to, the way I wanted to.
I've tried many projects over the years, mostly minor repairs/fixes, and almost all the time they get screwed up and I end up having to call someone to fix it.
How does someone learn this stuff?
It pisses me off that I seem incapable of learning even the simplest home repair. It also pissed me off that DIY is so complicated and daunting if you don't already know what you're doing.
So, you give it half an attempt and quit at the first turn when something doesn't go your way? No wonder you're frustrated.
So, a quick a simple question. Do you think that people who are good at DIY tasks were just "born that way"? If you think yes, boy howdy do you need some enlightenment. I was so anti-DIY as a kid that I was offered a free car if I'd work on it with my dad... my parents finally forced a (running) car on me when I graduated HS because I had no interest in working on one (or driving). Today, I've had a long career as a mechanic and have remodeled and/or restored 5 houses. 100% of everything I've learned, has been learned after I was 20 (and most of it after I was 30).
2 main ways to go about getting the skills. Either stick with a project until you get it 100% done on your own. Plumbing isn't hard... frustrating, absolutely (I've made 5 trips to the hardware store to do ONE small/simple plumbing job before), but not hard. There's no "partially works", or "not sure if it works"... it's binary, it either works right or doesn't (leaks 99% of the time). And keep in mind, if it doesn't work now, you're not going to make it any Worse while learning.
the second way is to hire a professional ask them if they will teach you. I got lucky in hiring a contractor to help with a bathroom remodel who said he'd show me if I paid a flat hourly rate vs. a contracted price. Ended up that I did so much work that it took him a full 8 hours less time to do the job... I learned a LOT about plumbing, framing (floor was rotten from water leaks), drywall repair and tiling. Some of the best money I've spent on work I needed done. Usually I'll just hang back and ask questions about things I don't understand without getting in the way (electrical comes to mind).
My main motivation started out with money, I simply didn't have any. Now it's that anyone I hire does a worse job than I can do myself, they might do it Faster but not better.
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