Live-in vs Live-out nanny (daycare, home, elementary school)

[Cindy Kim - AuPairCare]

How would you compare the two childcare options?

[snowbean00]

I had 2 Au pairs using the ef agency I think that's the name. We loved it and it really is like having a family member in your home who is helping out with your children. My experience was good and you must understand the Au pair will never be a carbon copy of you. There was lots of aupairs in my area so she had many aupair friends and the support lady in the area is important to alleviate any issues that may occur. My aupair was allowed use of our car on her off days, she mostly took care to fill the tank for what she used & she was allowed to have any foods any living comforts in her room as she desired for she was a member of our family. Other families ask their aupair to do extra chores for extra money of course like adult laundry, cleaning bathrooms, floors, etc. We didn't ask that of our aupairs. Aupairs only responsible for cleaning that's associated with child care. She sometimes helped with baby laundry and bathing but I personally preferred to handle that ourselves. My children were 2.5 and 4 at the time I had aupairs and I worked 2 days a week. Therefore she helped me while I was home and she was by herself the 2 days I was working. My mother visited one time and said the aupair was sleeping sunbathing out in backyard while my children were taking their afternoon naps. I was a bit annoyed had a gentle talk with aupair and I hope it was a one time occurrence. Trust is a difficult aspect with live in nannies. We have had 3 live in nannies and 2 aupairs and tried 2 daycare centers. Thankfully I was able to work part time the whole way. ALSO thank goodness for early pre K school programs ! Plus my parents helped out a lot too when they retired and my children were in elementary school by then. When I had a live out nanny I vowed never again because of the uncertainty of not knowing how reliable the live out nanny is and mine was not ! That's why we chose live in options and aupairs are younger more energetic but like I said the young aupairs get careless like my sun tanning aupair and there was drama with other friends happen with aupairs as well as boyfriend drama. Older nannies of mine had sore knees, special diets, old habits to watch out for, nannies who fall asleep, nannies who can't keep up or not as strict with the schedule of feeding napping outdoor walks etc.. I hope I've given you some help ? Honestly I was very lucky I was able to be with my little ones most of the week it's heart breaking . Install nanny cameras all over because it wasn't as common 10 years ago !

[westhou]

Originally Posted by snowbean00

I had 2 Au pairs using the ef agency I think that's the name. We loved it and it really is like having a family member in your home who is helping out with your children. My experience was good and you must understand the Au pair will never be a carbon copy of you. There was lots of aupairs in my area so she had many aupair friends and the support lady in the area is important to alleviate any issues that may occur. My aupair was allowed use of our car on her off days, she mostly took care to fill the tank for what she used & she was allowed to have any foods any living comforts in her room as she desired for she was a member of our family. Other families ask their aupair to do extra chores for extra money of course like adult laundry, cleaning bathrooms, floors, etc. We didn't ask that of our aupairs. Aupairs only responsible for cleaning that's associated with child care. She sometimes helped with baby laundry and bathing but I personally preferred to handle that ourselves. My children were 2.5 and 4 at the time I had aupairs and I worked 2 days a week. Therefore she helped me while I was home and she was by herself the 2 days I was working. My mother visited one time and said the aupair was sleeping sunbathing out in backyard while my children were taking their afternoon naps. I was a bit annoyed had a gentle talk with aupair and I hope it was a one time occurrence. Trust is a difficult aspect with live in nannies. We have had 3 live in nannies and 2 aupairs and tried 2 daycare centers. Thankfully I was able to work part time the whole way. ALSO thank goodness for early pre K school programs ! Plus my parents helped out a lot too when they retired and my children were in elementary school by then. When I had a live out nanny I vowed never again because of the uncertainty of not knowing how reliable the live out nanny is and mine was not ! That's why we chose live in options and aupairs are younger more energetic but like I said the young aupairs get careless like my sun tanning aupair and there was drama with other friends happen with aupairs as well as boyfriend drama. Older nannies of mine had sore knees, special diets, old habits to watch out for, nannies who fall asleep, nannies who can't keep up or not as strict with the schedule of feeding napping outdoor walks etc.. I hope I've given you some help ? Honestly I was very lucky I was able to be with my little ones most of the week it's heart breaking . Install nanny cameras all over because it wasn't as common 10 years ago !

They will also steal your husband. Don't you watch Lifetime?

[Meyerland]

When I was a live out nanny in college, I had to leave a few jobs due to the husband's harassment. I am not saying this will happen to you, but be aware that it can happen even if your husband is a "nice" guy.

Some friends of ours have a really hot babysitter. They joke about it all the time, and how the dad is extra nice to the lady. (Which he truthfully is, which is different than when they had the older babysitter.) I wouldn't think this was funny or okay for my family.

I personally would choose a live out nanny, and not an au pair. The au pair may be on the look out for a green card/ spouse.