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Old 03-26-2008, 07:35 PM
 
Location: Clear Lake, Houston TX
8,376 posts, read 30,568,556 times
Reputation: 4718

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It's the same story. Half the transplants are freaked out; the other half are annoyed we're not going fast enough. This town is honestly no better or worse than any other huge city I've visited & driven around. We do pack in tight sometimes, but again... there are more stressful big cities to be caught in.

Oh yeah, and as far as speeding up to get to a traffic light, I may have an answer to that one. Some of the lights around here have sensors. If you "train" a line of cars closely, it will keep the green lit for longer. If you leave a big gap in front of you, you're gonna trigger a yellow. Yeah, it's hard on your brakes. I have to get my front rotors turned every 10,000 miles -- $12 if I pull them off myself & send to the shop. That's life.
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Old 03-26-2008, 08:46 PM
 
Location: Houston
79 posts, read 45,952 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by MSJones View Post
You guys may have already seen this – I got it in e-mail this morning and thought it was pretty funny (and accurate!):

Following are the rules of Houston - The Bayou City, Clutch City, Space City, H-Town or whatever you want to call it:

You must learn to properly pronounce the name of the city – it’s “Hue-sten”, not “Ewe-sten” or “House-ton”.

The name of the street is “San Phil-eep-ay”, not “San Phe-leep”. Enunciate, you idiots!

Forget any traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Houston has its own set of traffic rules, called Hold On And Pray. There is no such thing as a high speed chase in Houston, either – we ALL drive like that. All the time.

All driving directions start with “Get on Loop 610…” which goes in a complete circle and has no beginning and no end.

The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a “scenic drive”.


The morning rush hour is from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 PM to 7:00 PM. Friday’s morning rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will probably be rear-ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. When the light turns green and you’re the first one off the starting line, count to 5 before you take off, to avoid being slammed by cross traffic who are running their red light.

Kuykendahl Road can only TRULY be pronounced by a native Houstonian.

Construction on I-10, I-45, 610, and 59 is a way of life in Houston and a permanent form of entertainment.

All unpleasant smells are explained by any of the following phrases: “Oh, hell, we must be in Pasadena,” or, “God, Baytown sucks!”, or “Oh yeah – smell that Texas City aroma!”

If someone actually has their blinker on, it’s probably a factory defect that’s never been fixed. Pay no attention.

All ladies with blue hair in pink Cadillacs automatically have the right-of-way.

The minimum acceptable speed on 610 is 85 MPH. Anything less is considered downright sissy and dangerous.

That wrought iron you see on homes in east Houston is NOT for decoration.

Never make eye contact with the driver who has a bumper sticker that says “Keep honking; I’m reloading.” Speaking of honking, don’t do it. To anyone.

If you are in the left lane, and you’re going 70 MPH in a 60 MPH zone, people are not waving at you as they pass.

The Sam Houston Parkway is our daily version of NASCAR.

If it’s 100 degrees outside, Thanksgiving is probably the following week.

When in doubt, remember: all unmarked exits go to Louisiana.

If I live in Katy, and you live in Friendswood, we will never spend time together.

The best thing about being drunk at 2 AM is that you can go to Whataburger and get breakfast or lunch!

You don’t have to wait for an exit to get off the freeway; just follow the ruts through the grass to the feeder like everyone else does. This is our way of notifying the Department of Transportation where they SHOULD have built exit ramps.

Elsewhere, they may be called “frontage roads” but here, they’re “feeders” and we don’t know what the hell a “frontage road” is – so don’t look at us like you’re stupid when we say “Get on the feeder then take that loop-the-loop round to the other side.”

Follow these rules to the best of your ability and you should do just fine – but we can’t promise you anything! J
That was funny. Been here only a month and I understand it perfectly! LOL
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Old 03-26-2008, 10:06 PM
 
4,127 posts, read 5,050,027 times
Reputation: 1621
Ker-ken-doll.

I was born in Houston.
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Old 03-26-2008, 10:42 PM
 
Location: 1. Miami 2.Dallas 3. NEXT!
464 posts, read 1,355,343 times
Reputation: 135
WOW; I am from Miami and this Houston stuff almost sounds similar. but must i say there is nothing worse driving than in a city full of immigrants. btw, moving to Houston soon
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Old 03-26-2008, 11:23 PM
 
Location: Tulsa, OK, Traffic Circle Area
687 posts, read 2,341,967 times
Reputation: 435
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe_Ryder View Post
Ker-ken-doll.

I was born in Houston.
Prounounce it the same, I haven't lived in Houston since 1994!

But all those rules apply, and I'm not sure if it's still the same, but Houston's version of NASCAR exists on the Hardy Toll Road between Crosstimbers and Aldine Mail.
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Old 03-26-2008, 11:37 PM
 
64 posts, read 412,139 times
Reputation: 30
Another problem is the short green lights at so many intersections. Never in my life have I seen a place where it takes multiple light cycles to get through intersections. One example: Hwy 6 N at FM529. Hwy 6 southbound gets about a 20 second green light during the afternoon rush. UGGGGHHHH
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Old 03-27-2008, 11:50 AM
 
161 posts, read 472,883 times
Reputation: 141
Excuse me ' 'urbaneaspects' - all Americans are immigrants of one kind or another!

And by the way, shouldn't your name be 'urban' (meaning having to do with a town or city, developed) rather than 'urbane' (meaning worldly, sophisticated?)
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Old 03-27-2008, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,307 posts, read 38,663,829 times
Reputation: 7184
Quote:
Originally Posted by amyalta View Post
Excuse me ' 'urbaneaspects' - all Americans are immigrants of one kind or another!

And by the way, shouldn't your name be 'urban' (meaning having to do with a town or city, developed) rather than 'urbane' (meaning worldly, sophisticated?)
Since it is completely unworldly and unsophisticated to be concerned about how much of your HISD tax goes towards ESL programs at the expense of music, arts, athletics, history, math and science, to wonder if your children in public school are being neglected because they already speak English and to worry about how much your premiums will go up after that van full of guys in white coveralls with paint splashed all over them, none of whom "sabe" or carry insurance (driver's license notwithstanding), rear ends you in front of Home Depot.

And not all Americans are immigrants of one kind or another. There are still a few left.

And by the way, shouldn't your name be 'amycorta' (meaning short) rather than 'amyalta' (meaning tall?) It would seem that a tall amy would would have less in common with Mr. Bonaparte (meaning Napoleon).
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Old 03-28-2008, 01:27 AM
 
4,127 posts, read 5,050,027 times
Reputation: 1621
Quote:
Originally Posted by amyalta View Post
Excuse me ' 'urbaneaspects' - all Americans are immigrants of one kind or another!
I was born in Houston; Heights Hospital to be precise. That is the definition of "native". Way back about 300 years ago my family moved from Ireland to Texas which was part of Spain at the time. About 1699 BCE, the Irish came from Galatia. Ironically, much of Galatia is now called Spain.

I'm not sure how you in particular define an immigrant but the only way I'd be considered an immigrant is if I moved to another country.

Please don't try to tell me that the earliest European settlers in Texas came in and stole land from the natives. That one's been debunked in every instance and it's getting a little old. The Spaniards were selling off Texas land to Europeans for peanuts because there was no one living there and they needed settlers to tame their new frontier. If you don't believe me, try cracking open a history book and stop buying into the fanciful diatribes that seem to be circulating pop media so abundantly.
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Old 03-28-2008, 05:07 PM
Status: "America first!" (set 2 days ago)
 
Location: Suburban Dallas
52,576 posts, read 47,711,637 times
Reputation: 33659
How I learned about Houston is this: You listen to the locals when they speak. You can also learn some by listening to the radio or watching TV. That's how I found out how names and things are supposed to be pronounced in this city.

But I have heard Sugar Land mispronounced in the past on some radio commercial (it's supposed to be two words and the announcer called it as if it were one -- it's Sugar Land, not sug' ur lund'). And, naturally, I cringed.
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