I am gender-nonconforming and moved to Houston, should I just leave? (The Woodlands: home, neighborhoods)

[mistermaggie]

Originally Posted by DejaBlue

I read and reread but I definitely missed a step.You pass as what? Male or female? I got lost there.

I was born as a male, lived as a woman for some time, but now I cut my hair to look for a job, and other reasons I won’t go into. Honestly I still look pretty feminine.

I bought a nice wig recently because it might be easier to sell myself as a trans woman rather than someone who is sort of at a blurry intersection of gender. I do pass when I try (spent thousands of dollars for this) but I just never had to look for work as a female before and I’m not in a city I know very well. I do know that it was illegal to be gay here until like 2003 or something. Crazy

Originally Posted by kojoto

I agree with that suggestion re: Whole Foods or Trader Joes

I’m trying to get a job as a legal assistant as that is what I did before I came here. Failing that I would do pretty much anything... I guess I could do a grocery store

[worldlyman]

Originally Posted by Cinco Ranch

Houston is NOT a friendly LGBT city, don’t be fooled by the diversity, that doesn’t really mean anything just a bunch of immigrants looking for a better life. There is a lot of prejudice in the city so don’t go walking around like your openly gay. You can do OK if your inside the loop mainly around montrose but outside of that you can expect hostility.

Typical gratuitous hater talk. Houston is a libertarian place that doesn't give a rat's you-know-what about one's orientation as long as one does not interfere with the capitalist process.



I've worked at and work for big name employers in Houston whose top leaders were and are OPENLY gay. Not to mention the lots of openly gay employees out and about. I never see any fellow co-workers making a big deal about it. It's just not an issue here in Houston.



I mean if Houston is "not a friendly LGBT city", then how did an openly "LGBT" mayor get elected in the first place? The first of any major city, to boot?


"Mainly around Montrose?" From what we know, like other major cities, gays in Houston have spread out to other areas (Westbury, Heights, etc.) as more acceptance came to pass, not as bottled up in formerly gay enclaves like before.



"Fooled?" Diversity is not something to underestimate when it comes to Houston. For all its perceived warts, real or otherwise, Houston's diversity works better than other places I've lived or visited recently.



I've noticed quite more prejudice and segregation in, say, San Diego, Tampa Bay and Chicago.

[sylentvoyce]

This is a new day and age. Be confident and you will be accepted. As for the girl name... Ashley Joanna Williams has been killing demons for 30 years and no one has ever batted an eye at that feminine name.

[Dopo]

About a week ago I went to a Red Robin because they had a Santa Claus there for the kids
Keep in mind that I live in the suburbs where there might be more churches than bars

As we are getting Santa picture taken right next to the bar I look at the bartender
I couldn’t tell if the bartender was a man or a woman .... I’m guessing it was a gay guy.

Did anybody care?
All we cared about was getting free Santa pictures

[Cinco Ranch]

Originally Posted by worldlyman

Typical gratuitous hater talk. Houston is a libertarian place that doesn't give a rat's you-know-what about one's orientation as long as one does not interfere with the capitalist process.



I've worked at and work for big name employers in Houston whose top leaders were and are OPENLY gay. Not to mention the lots of openly gay employees out and about. I never see any fellow co-workers making a big deal about it. It's just not an issue here in Houston.



I mean if Houston is "not a friendly LGBT city", then how did an openly "LGBT" mayor get elected in the first place? The first of any major city, to boot?


"Mainly around Montrose?" From what we know, like other major cities, gays in Houston have spread out to other areas (Westbury, Heights, etc.) as more acceptance came to pass, not as bottled up in formerly gay enclaves like before.



"Fooled?" Diversity is not something to underestimate when it comes to Houston. For all its perceived warts, real or otherwise, Houston's diversity works better than other places I've lived or visited recently.



I've noticed quite more prejudice and segregation in, say, San Diego, Tampa Bay and Chicago.

“Hater talk?” You had better watch your attitude and language “worldlyman”.

Unlike most transplants living here I was born in this city and would never hate on my own city got it?

Name any community outside the loop that has a significant gay community. You mentioned westbury which pales in comparison to inner loop communities, and there aren’t many in westbury at all.

If you want to see how well diversity works in Houston go visit Sunnyside or River Oaks instead of acting like a punk and trying to teach me a lesson in Houston’s sociopolitical makeup.

You have obviously noticed nothing.

[TheMoreYouKnow]

Originally Posted by Cinco Ranch

“Hater talk?” You had better watch your attitude and language “worldlyman”.

Unlike most transplants living here I was born in this city and would never hate on my own city got it?

Name any community outside the loop that has a significant gay community. You mentioned westbury which pales in comparison to inner loop communities, and there aren’t many in westbury at all.

If you want to see how well diversity works in Houston go visit Sunnyside or River Oaks instead of acting like a punk and trying to teach me a lesson in Houston’s sociopolitical makeup.

There's a huge difference between a city being LGBT friendly and a city having a significant gay community, the LGBT population of this country is a very small percentage of the overall population. Houston is well known for being a very LGBT friendly city but more importantly, the people of Houston are known for not really giving a damn what other people do as long as you don't camp in the fast lane or break into someone's house.

[TheMoreYouKnow]

Originally Posted by mistermaggie

I moved to Houston for medical treatment, but as part of my recovery they want me to find a job. I legally have a female name though I was born male and have presented as male most of the time the last couple months. I have many reasons for that, but I think the ultimate issue is confidence. I've been discussing this a lot with my therapist lately.

I honestly think I need to leave this program and go back to LA. I sort of have the feeling that this place isn't very good for LGBTQ folks and it would be very hard for me to find work. I do pass (aside from my voice sometimes), but what I don't have is a good resume. I am young and have made a lot of mistakes in my life and I never focused very much on my career.

I have decided that I am going to stop wearing men's clothes and dress more female, but I fear this will make things even worse for me, though at this point I probably look better as a girl, with all the changes I've made.

Will I have any chance of happiness or acceptance out here? I only came out to Houston for the first time for my recovery and I don't know as much about the culture as I might think I do. Perhaps someone can shed light on that for me? Thank you.

Can you explain a little more about the medical treatment you moved here for and why would part of your recovery include finding a job? Are we talking about treatment for a medical condition like cancer or treatment for something like drug addiction or mental health issues? Which "program" are you thinking about leaving?

[jerbear30]

There’s a difference between being a place that “doesn’t give a damn” what you do, and being a place that cultivates community. Houston indeed doesn’t give a damn, but it also isn’t known for its cultivation of community, whether it be in the trans community, the lgbt community or really in any other community. I think it’s this lack of community that the op is experiencing. For members of vulnerable communities, this can be especially acute, but it is a fact of life across the board in Houston.

[TheMoreYouKnow]

Originally Posted by jerbear30

There’s a difference between being a place that “doesn’t give a damn” what you do, and being a place that cultivates community. Houston indeed doesn’t give a damn, but it also isn’t known for its cultivation of community, whether it be in the trans community, the lgbt community or really in any other community. I think it’s this lack of community that the op is experiencing. For members of vulnerable communities, this can be especially acute, but it is a fact of life across the board in Houston.

Can you give me an example of a US city that "cultivates the trans or LGBT community"? I'm honestly curious here, no trolling at all.

[Dopo]

Originally Posted by Cinco Ranch

“Name any community outside the loop that has a significant gay community. You mentioned westbury which pales in comparison to inner loop communities, and there aren’t many in westbury at all.

Im pretty sure that there are two gay bars in Spring close to Exxon Mobil