Would Like to Make Friends!!! (boat, moved, workers)

[Mommy/Artist/Lawyer]

Originally Posted by feufoma

Sampaguita said:

"I'm guessing you don't have children based on some of your assessments on this thread."

Yes, I have an amazing two year old son in a Montessori pre-school that is a tremendous joy! And, yes, I guess it depends on the child and certainly on the parents. However, based on my observations of the children I have encountered in my son's "circle", I have noted some major differences in the childrens' level of social interaction and intellectual development based on whether they are in childcare, pre-school, or with a stay at home parent. Children in pre-school in my own observable universe tend to me more engaged and engaging. It's just my observation... I'm not trying to be offensive; but was just wondering if others had noticed the same dynamic.

Sounds like a good way to rationalize the fact that someone besides you and your wife is primarily responsible for forming your child's character.

I'm willing to bet that my two year old son and his group of friends are every bit as intellectually amazing and socially well adjusted as your child and his preschool buddies. Most of the SAHM's I know have regular playdates at the park and scheduled activities for their toddlers like Gymboree and story time at the library. My son and his friends also have the constant reassurance of a parent who is there for them all day.

Personally, I find nothing more fascinating than my two year old. I want to be the one to witness all of his major moments. Not a $9.00 an hour preschool teacher.

I'll take watching him grow up, over an inner loop address and a six figure income any day.

[texas7]

Originally Posted by Mommy/Artist/Lawyer

My mother was divorced when I was 2 and I grew up in daycare so I speak from personal experience. I don't care much you think you may have "checked" out your daycare, unless your daycare is run by old friends or your family you are leaving your child with strangers. It is only by the grace of God that nothing happens to them while they are with those strangers. Trust me there is a lot that can happen in an 8 hour period either as a result of neglect, impatience or cruelty.


I was a good lawyer and I had to make a severe budget adjustment to do this SAHM thing. It wasn't really something I pictured for myself. However, I am a realist. No other person is ever going to treat my son as well as I do. I don't get much personal pampering these days but I don't ever have to worry whether some flustered daycare worker has given him wiper fluid instead of juice or if some creepy pedophile just scored an awsome new job as childcare worker.

As for snooty mothers. I have met a few myself. Some have been SAHM's and some have been working professionals. I don't judge any woman for the choices she makes. Some of my good friends are working moms. However, reading a post about how kids who spend their lives in daycare are intellectually and socially superior to kids who aren't in daycare, makes me want to hurl.

Obviously I survived my daycare years ok. However, I remember how sad I was when my mother dropped me off and how much I missed her all day. My mom would say she was fastidious about checking out our daycare but I could still tell a few horror stories.

I don't believe that l said kids in daycare were intellectually and socially superior to kids who aren't - However; they certainly aren't any less intelligent or have lower social skills than kids who aren't. I don't believe it is dumping them either. Most parents try and make the best decisions possible for their families and I would hope that if a child were having issues in daycare with a worker, etc. that the parents would look for a new place. So because you had bad experiences as a child and you chose to stay at home doesn't mean that those who don't do as you are "dumping" their children or doing them some traumatic damage that impairs them intellectually or socially. Parents have to make some wise choices, investigate the best they can, ask question, and most important listen to what their kids are telling them. These days there have been lots of abuse in various public and private school ISDs on the news lately too.

[LAM1010]

I agree with texas7. I don't think it helps though to make disparaging comments about preschool teachers almost to the point of mocking their salary. I think all teachers should be applauded for their hard work even though there are a few out there who aren't the best.

But Mommy/Artist/Lawyer just proves another point being that there is a cross-section of SAHM who used to work but made the sacrifice to stay at home for their kids. [i]Unfortunately they see this decision and sacrifice as a passport to be high-minded, simply because [/I]"they have been out there and done the working aspect of life but saw the light when they had kids and decided to rise above it and take the high road by forfeiting life pleasures of a huge salary and a posh zip code." And instead do what is best supposedly for their kids. I use the word "supposedly" because honestly I don't think there is anything wrong with staying at home or working. Just don't brow-beat the rest of us with your sacrifice, though I must admit it is a huge one. What about those young working mothers (in their twenties) who also make 6-figures income but haven't been professionals for long enough to payoff their huge student loans or long years of being in grad school. And perhaps even have a special needs child who needs every bit of the two incomes they can provided. Not every thing is black and white.
And please don't be condescending towards preschool teachers. Be nice.

Originally Posted by Mommy/Artist/Lawyer

Sounds like a good way to rationalize the fact that someone besides you and your wife is primarily responsible for forming your child's character.

I'm willing to bet that my two year old son and his group of friends are every bit as intellectually amazing and socially well adjusted as your child and his preschool buddies. Most of the SAHM's I know have regular playdates at the park and scheduled activities for their toddlers like Gymboree and story time at the library. My son and his friends also have the constant reassurance of a parent who is there for them all day.

Personally, I find nothing more fascinating than my two year old. I want to be the one to witness all of his major moments. Not a $9.00 an hour preschool teacher.

I'll take watching him grow up, over an inner loop address and a six figure income any day.

[houstoner]

Originally Posted by Black Jack22

In a city like Houston, given you are not in school and do not care for bars or clubs, meetup is the only alternative.

Yes, people tend to live in bubbles here. They seem to have their own established circle of family and friends and it can be difficult to break in to that if you're a newcomer. It can be kind of cliquish. You have to try Meetup, volunteering, church to make your own opportunities to connect with people.

[Mommy/Artist/Lawyer]

Originally Posted by texas7

I don't believe that l said kids in daycare were intellectually and socially superior to kids who aren't - However; they certainly aren't any less intelligent or have lower social skills than kids who aren't. I don't believe it is dumping them either. Most parents try and make the best decisions possible for their families and I would hope that if a child were having issues in daycare with a worker, etc. that the parents would look for a new place. So because you had bad experiences as a child and you chose to stay at home doesn't mean that those who don't do as you are "dumping" their children or doing them some traumatic damage that impairs them intellectually or socially. Parents have to make some wise choices, investigate the best they can, ask question, and most important listen to what their kids are telling them. These days there have been lots of abuse in various public and private school ISDs on the news lately too.

I never said you did. Go back and reread the thread carefully. It seems in your haste to add your view point you failed to notice that my initial post was in response to Fuefoma who said, "
Based on the small children I know of, it seems that the ones who go to daycare and/ or pre-school are miles ahead of the stay at home children, both socially and intellectually."

His post is where this conversation began.

As for my childhood experiences with day care, I don't have to go back that far to to see that daycare is as it ever was. Something less than ideal. Even the best day care can't provide what a toddler really needs. His or her mommy. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. But if you want to argue that a daycare worker is just as good as a mother then I don't even know how to respond that kind of illogic.

[lane_change]

Is all this going to help the OP make friends? I'm lost.

[Mommy/Artist/Lawyer]

Originally Posted by LAM1010

I agree with texas7. I don't think it helps though to make disparaging comments about preschool teachers almost to the point of mocking their salary. I think all teachers should be applauded for their hard work even though there are a few out there who aren't the best.

But Mommy/Artist/Lawyer just proves another point being that there is a cross-section of SAHM who used to work but made the sacrifice to stay at home for their kids. [i]Unfortunately they see this decision and sacrifice as a passport to be high-minded, simply because [/I]"they have been out there and done the working aspect of life but saw the light when they had kids and decided to rise above it and take the high road by forfeiting life pleasures of a huge salary and a posh zip code." And instead do what is best supposedly for their kids. I use the word "supposedly" because honestly I don't think there is anything wrong with staying at home or working. Just don't brow-beat the rest of us with your sacrifice, though I must admit it is a huge one. What about those young working mothers (in their twenties) who also make 6-figures income but haven't been professionals for long enough to payoff their huge student loans or long years of being in grad school. And perhaps even have a special needs child who needs every bit of the two incomes they can provided. Not every thing is black and white.
And please don't be condescending towards preschool teachers. Be nice.

I'll stop the brow beating if you agree to stop whining about how SAHM's are mean and no one wants to be your friend.
Like most people, I don't respond well to hall monitor types. Perhaps that is your problem.

[LAM1010]

Ouch!!! I guess I hit a nerve

[LAM1010]

All this back and forth is counter-productive. A patient in my care just passed on and he wasn't even 50yrs. I guess stuff like this puts life into perspective..

[Mommy/Artist/Lawyer]

Originally Posted by LAM1010

Ouch!!! I guess I hit a nerve

Yes my last one. Which explains your trouble making friends.