Keep Houston Boring - the movement begins. (Dallas, San Antonio: hotel, houses)

[jfre81]

You know what, I've had an epiphany.

I really don't want this to turn into another yuppie hipster hellhole so let me say with utmost authority here that everything you've ever heard about Houston is true (unless it's actually a decent place to live where people enjoy themselves, that is patently false). It's flat, there are mosquitoes and roaches the size of school buses and the six million who live in the metro area are all either making loads of money, are too poor to live anywhere better or are clinically insane. Or any combination of those.

From now on, I will not be taking any more pictures of "nice" areas. However, if you know of any burned out crackhouses, let me know where they are so I can show "the real Houston." Not that I should have any trouble finding them on my own without your help, since I need only look right next to the million dollar mansions as we have no zoning.

From now on, no telling anybody where anything fun to do is. If they're looking for "the scene", then they can just go somewhere else. Now, on the off chance they do find something cool, we are to immediately inform them of a robbery that happened there a few years ago. No proof or anything is necessary, anecdotes and hearsay are just fine. Any failure to do this will brand you a traitor to the Keep Houston Boring movement which I establish today at 1850 hrs local time, 28 Jan 2010.

From now on, do not give anyone any directions to anything unless you tell them the most traffic-heavy route that should have nothing aesthetically pleasing whatsoever along the way. Your directions will be awarded a point for each of these along your proposed route:

1) Billboards. Two points if they are advertising sexually oriented businesses.
2) Abandoned buildings. If there is prominent graffiti on the building within view of a driver on an adjacent road which is part of your proposed route, three points.
3) Overhead utility poles. Since there are so many, three of them equal one point.

Also, deduct one point for passing near parks or other green spaces, entertainment of any kind or pedestrian friendly areas. Not that they exist.

From now on we are to constantly remind everyone of how close we are to Austin and New Orleans and suggest that commuting from either location to work is feasible, because under no circumstances are we to recommend living in the City of Houston.

From now on, no more Houston pictures in the Houston picture thread. It is now a place for reminding everyone of where they could be living instead of wasting their lives here. Pictures from various locations will be scored as follows:

One point for any major city in the United States outside of Texas that is not New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago or Miami.

Two points for Austin, San Antonio or Dallas. A half point for Abilene or Beaumont.

Three points for Miami, Chicago or Los Angeles.

Four points for New York City, unless it is Staten Island. Then it is only worth one point. No points for any image shot in New Jersey.

Three points for any other major world city, except Toronto, London, Tokyo, Paris, Tel Aviv or Buenos Aires which are worth five each. Showing these places is strongly encouraged as Houstonians have not traveled outside of Texas and do not know they exist.

In addition, one point for photos of Yakutsk, Siberia which will invariably show more entertainment options, nightlife, pedestrian culture and scenery than a comparable image of Houston.

If under any circumstances you post a photo taken in Houston, any people in the image (supposing there are any, nobody walks here) they must be wearing cowboy hats and it must be in the parking lot of a gas station, a big box chain store or an oil rig. No images of restaurants unless they are chains. No images of anything that could be construed by anyone as appealing in any way, shape or form.

Now let's keep the riffraff out, which includes the national media which might do what they do best - misleading people, including giving people the crazy idea there's anything worth seeing here.

KEEP HOUSTON BORING. This is your assignment, and yes, it's for a grade.

[SouthmoreAve]

I don't think we should give up on City-Data. I have started to ignore the houston hate threads, as now I have realized that most of City-Data hates Houston. IF someone doesn't, then thanks for taking the time to realize that Houston isn't all that bad.

Before, i thought they hated ATL and DAL just as much, but lately with Houston being deemed as "insecure" or "the most hated", I have realized that I can only do so much without coming off as a homer.

BTW, your just helping the bashers, and nobody else, and hopefully you try to not bring yourself down to this attitude, because its really sad. I know what area I live in, and I am damn proud to live in Greater Houston, and no other city compares.

Just let the other people think what they want.....

Perhaps this was just a joke, but I think I just lost a little respect for you just for posting this thread.

[elnina]

Originally Posted by SouthmoreAve

I don't think we should give up on City-Data. I have started to ignore the houston hate threads, as now I have realized that most of City-Data hates Houston. IF someone doesn't, then thanks for taking the time to realize that Houston isn't all that bad.

Before, i thought they hated ATL and DAL just as much, but lately with Houston being deemed as "insecure" or "the most hated", I have realized that I can only do so much without coming off as a homer.

BTW, your just helping the bashers, and nobody else, and hopefully you try to not bring yourself down to this attitude, because its really sad. I know what area I live in, and I am damn proud to live in Greater Houston, and no other city compares.

Just let the other people think what they want.....

Perhaps this was just a joke, but I think I just lost a little respect for you just for posting this thread.

I think you missed the point of jfre81 post...

[XodoX]

How is expressing my opinion "bashing Houston"?

[TexasCatherine]

I haven't been reading this Houston forum very long, but I think it's safe to say JFRE81 was writing in jest. Like many of us, I think he's just so tired of all the negativity being dished out about Houston. It's certainly okay to point out the negatives here, but when post after post after post does nothing but bash the city and the people who live here (whether downtown or in the suburbs), it starts to wear thin.

[SouthmoreAve]

Originally Posted by elnina

I think you missed the point of jfre81 post...

Well I got the point now, but lets just wait and see what happens....

(and i do take back my last comment)

[wpmeads]

Sorry, but the "Keep ____ Boring" idea has already been done. If your ever in Abilene, there's a coffee shop downtown called Monk's who sell t-shirts that say "Keep Abilene Boring".

[LizzySWW]

http://www.qolhouston.org/upload/Billboards%20I45N.JPG (broken link)
a typical Houston street


mobile billboards are everywhere

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_JjydiXHtAFM/SiV0OpQtzCI/AAAAAAAAA_A/zLPb9ekmLYg/s400/232323232%7Ffp8%3C4%3Enu%3D3739%3E84%3B%3E253%3EWS NRCG%3D325784--7%3B335nu0mrj.jpg (broken link)

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_JjydiXHtAFM/RqbFVQJJzsI/AAAAAAAAAP0/XqkPIXwPtSY/s400/MontagueHotel-001.jpg (broken link)

[XodoX]

Originally Posted by LizzySWW

a typical Houston street


mobile billboards are everywhere

I actually think those are nice pictures

Edit: Well, the last one isn't so nice lol

[LizzySWW]

Originally Posted by XodoX

I actually think those are nice pictures

Why yes they are.