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Old 05-02-2010, 10:01 PM
 
Location: Dallas
1,006 posts, read 734,716 times
Reputation: 1232

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I'm in such a depressing mood because I love Houston and Texas in general but I've recently come to the realization that I'm not a good fit for this area. Its not the politics (I'm socially liberal yet fiscally conservative), its not really even the culture (I work in Oil and Gas). Its more or less the expectation that EVERYONE seems to have for me. Get married, raise a family, save for 401k (only to lose it at the next market crash) and die. I'm a 26 year old male who selectively have a vasectomy because I dont want kids. I'm the only agnostic person in my ENTIRE family and frankly my decisions to fufill MY self happiness as an adult has made my life and relationship with my family quite difficult.

I've never been one to run away from my problems but anytime I visit out west (which is pretty often i might add) I have an overwhelming sense of satisfaction and my friends accept me for who I am and dont question it (no I'm not coming out of the closet lol, I like women).

Just really sucks because I really dont want to leave my well paying job, family and all that Texas has provide me with but I'm miserable. Anyone ever been in my shoes?
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Old 05-02-2010, 10:23 PM
 
Location: ✶✶✶✶
15,216 posts, read 30,543,784 times
Reputation: 10851
I'm confused. Why do you feel the need to do what anyone else expects of you? It's your life.
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Old 05-02-2010, 10:38 PM
 
Location: Dallas
1,006 posts, read 734,716 times
Reputation: 1232
I understand this and its the reason why I'm moving, but I have a lot of respect for my parents as they provided me with a GREAT childhood and upbringing. I don't like disappointing them but just coming to the realization that they cant determine my happiness. Just hate that I have to move to be satisfied but thats seems to be the only way. Me not giving them grandkids has put a HUGE dent in out otherwise flawless relationship.
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Old 05-02-2010, 10:41 PM
 
Location: ✶✶✶✶
15,216 posts, read 30,543,784 times
Reputation: 10851
So what you mean is it's your parents who expect this of you, and you're moving to get away from them. Fair enough. But if you move away, are they out of your life? If not, and that's the only reason you're moving, what are you accomplishing?

It'd be one thing if you didn't like it here, but that's not what it sounds like.
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Old 05-02-2010, 11:03 PM
 
Location: Dallas
1,006 posts, read 734,716 times
Reputation: 1232
I absolutely love Houston, but I'm a selectively single, mid 20's male so entertainment is a huge deal for me. My form of entertainment is not often, if at all found around the South (regular House music events, late, late night strolls for food. I also like being able to walk to different areas (wasting money on a 30k care right now). The family issues just compound how miserable I am. This sounds wierd but I love sound of a busy city at night, Houston gets really quite. For most this is good, for me this makes me uncomfortable.
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Old 05-02-2010, 11:15 PM
 
Location: ✶✶✶✶
15,216 posts, read 30,543,784 times
Reputation: 10851
Quote:
Originally Posted by moddestmike View Post
I absolutely love Houston, but I'm a selectively single, mid 20's male so entertainment is a huge deal for me. My form of entertainment is not often, if at all found around the South (regular House music events, late, late night strolls for food. I also like being able to walk to different areas (wasting money on a 30k care right now). The family issues just compound how miserable I am. This sounds wierd but I love sound of a busy city at night, Houston gets really quite. For most this is good, for me this makes me uncomfortable.
Where do you live? If you don't live close in, do it and sell the car or trade down to something cheaper.

Be a trendsetter.
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Old 05-02-2010, 11:17 PM
 
Location: Houston, Texas
10,447 posts, read 49,641,507 times
Reputation: 10614
I wonder if you might be miserable regardless where you live. There is nothing wrong with Texas or Houston. You are in a very boring unfulfilling industry. The money may be good but at the end of each day what have you done for the good of society and for the good of your own satisfaction?

Why did you get a vasectomy? I can't stand kids yet I would not even think of getting that done. This crazy act may have triggered some depression, I don't know how but that supposedly is a side affect.

It's not my/our business to give you advice on how to find yourself some happiness. Only you can find it. I been feeling like sheet lately so just this past Thursday I went to a high class club in the Galleria and ended up accidentally meeting this beautiful woman who turned my attitude a 180 within the first hour talking to her. It could be something that easy and quick for you too. Go out and have some fun and try not to be down on yourself. And good luck to you my friend !
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Old 05-02-2010, 11:24 PM
 
Location: houston/sugarland
734 posts, read 1,080,008 times
Reputation: 174
Quote:
Originally Posted by moddestmike View Post
I'm in such a depressing mood because I love Houston and Texas in general but I've recently come to the realization that I'm not a good fit for this area. Its not the politics (I'm socially liberal yet fiscally conservative), its not really even the culture (I work in Oil and Gas). Its more or less the expectation that EVERYONE seems to have for me. Get married, raise a family, save for 401k (only to lose it at the next market crash) and die. I'm a 26 year old male who selectively have a vasectomy because I dont want kids. I'm the only agnostic person in my ENTIRE family and frankly my decisions to fufill MY self happiness as an adult has made my life and relationship with my family quite difficult.

I've never been one to run away from my problems but anytime I visit out west (which is pretty often i might add) I have an overwhelming sense of satisfaction and my friends accept me for who I am and dont question it (no I'm not coming out of the closet lol, I like women).

Just really sucks because I really dont want to leave my well paying job, family and all that Texas has provide me with but I'm miserable. Anyone ever been in my shoes?
I see what your saying and although your in a different age bracket than me, I would recommend that you move and do what makes you happy. If having kids, living in suburbia Houston, driving to work, cleaning the house routine sounds mundane and pointless(which is a boring way to live.. but so many do)
than move to another city, find a decent job(maybe its a cut below what your used to but happiness is priceless) and do the things your not able to do here.

And, if your looking to just get away, There is a great deal on a 8 day trip to China in November worth checking out...

Hot deal on round trip to China includes hotel and most meals. $1298.00 plust tax and visa - SlickDeals.net Forums
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Old 05-02-2010, 11:32 PM
 
76 posts, read 268,775 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by moddestmike View Post
I absolutely love Houston, but I'm a selectively single, mid 20's male so entertainment is a huge deal for me. My form of entertainment is not often, if at all found around the South (regular House music events, late, late night strolls for food. I also like being able to walk to different areas (wasting money on a 30k care right now). The family issues just compound how miserable I am. This sounds wierd but I love sound of a busy city at night, Houston gets really quite. For most this is good, for me this makes me uncomfortable.
What family issues specifically compounded your problems? Therapy would perhaps allow you to address what you have problems with youself and from there you can make the next step. It might be moving away from the family or a number of things. The way it was written, just a move anywhere will put you in a better place
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Old 05-03-2010, 01:09 AM
 
913 posts, read 4,342,668 times
Reputation: 783
Dude, I think you just need new open-minded friends. And a shrink.
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