Does your Huntsville spouse have to work? (renting, countertops)

[Charles]

A lot of people who moved to Huntsville have moved from higher housing cost markets. For example, our neighborhood in California had a median house price to median family income ratio of $390,500/$95,500 or about 4 while the same numbers for Huntsville are $97,300/$52,200 or about 2 (These are all in 1999 dollars, so they appear kind of low.)

Did this enter the equation in your move to Huntsville?

Source data:

Huntsville, Alabama - Fact Sheet - American FactFinder

Thousand Oaks, California - Fact Sheet - American FactFinder

[financelife]

Why you would want a woman who doesn't work is beyond me. Might as well get a house cat if you need someone home waiting for you. And a cat won't be poking around with the gardner if you know what I mean, or better yet, another engineer. Town's full of em.

Get you one of them career gals. She'll be busy and out of your hair, and she won't have time to feel neglected either. You'll get to zone out in front of your television, and she'll zone out by yapping next to you about her day and all the insignificant drama that happened at work, and both of you will be so tired as to not care who is listening or paying attention. And more than likely, she'll like staying home as much as you. If you marry someone who stays home all day every day, well, don't be surprised she wants you to carry her to exotic locations all the dang time.

A stay at home mom is fine, but stay at home mom's ain't like they used to be I'll tell you what.

[southern by choice]

Originally Posted by financelife

Why you would want a woman who doesn't work is beyond me. Might as well get a house cat if you need someone home waiting for you. And a cat won't be poking around with the gardner if you know what I mean, or better yet, another engineer. Town's full of em.

Get you one of them career gals. She'll be busy and out of your hair, and she won't have time to feel neglected either. You'll get to zone out in front of your television, and she'll zone out by yapping next to you about her day and all the insignificant drama that happened at work, and both of you will be so tired as to not care who is listening or paying attention.

A stay at home mom is fine, but stay at home mom's ain't like they used to be I'll tell you what.

I am pretty speechless. You seem quite judgemental in all your posts, you know that ? What works for people is none of your business.
Life continually evolves and changes. I have been married 25 years, married very young. So there's a really tight bond to begin with. Ive worked full time, part time, and not at all, depending on our circumstances and family situation. What a tawdry statement. There isnt a gardner or an engineer alive who would turn me from my husband. Because I know who I am. But back to the subject :
Which does my husband prefer? I'll tell you: first off, he prefers whatever makes me happy, and he'll support whatever that is. But, he'll be the first to tell you how much he likes the balance that having just one partner working full time brings to our personal life. We've done both. There is definitely more quality of life, less stress, and more spontaneity when Im not out there full time. Not to mention I take care of things during the week so when the weekend comes, we're spending time doing fun things together. I am currently working, but its not full time and its not for financial reasons, so basically, my job fits into my life, not the other way around.
Through the years my husband has always voiced his respect for me, for all I do and for supporting him in all he does. This included his 22 years as an Army officer, which sometimes entailed long seperations while raising two sons, figuring out how to teach one to shave when puberty hit the house while being a geographically single parent who didnt have brothers growing up ! But I digress: the point Im trying to make is, I think your reply was pretty shallow and narrow. The years I didnt have a "job", what was I doing ? I was working my tail off, instilling compassion, empathy and values into two growing minds, I was mentoring an Odyssey of the Mind class, volunteering in whatever community we'd landed in, aiding my children in putting down roots , even if just for a little while, attending social awareness lectures, classes on creative writing, pyschology, anything and everything that interested me, and kept me interesting.
By the way, raising those 2 boys was the highlight of my life, but by far the hardest job Ive ever had. If there was a salary to be attached to THAT, no one could afford it. I am talking about real parenting. I was very present in their lives, their education, who their friends were, what their dreams were.....
Our oldest grew up to receive an honors nomination to the Naval Academy, and our youngest is a Mandarin Chinese linguist. Wow, all those years laying on the couch all day eating bon-bons really paid off!
You seem very young, finance life, but with more life experiences, you'll grow, never fear.

[Mawoods]

COULD NOT HAVE EXPRESSED IT BETTER, SOUTHERN BY CHOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well said -- I don't have to add one word. I too was left speechless by that ignorance.

In answer to the question, one thought is there is always sacrifice in whatever decision one makes. One spouse working ( notice spouse - not just necessarily a female ) there may be some things that you can't buy. However, how much does one need. That could be a sermon on our nation's materialism and credit crisis. But as you said, the quality of life together may be better. Everyone and every couple has to make the decision of what is better for them and consider their own priorities. My husband is near retirement and I do not work right now and like you I get alot done that he doesn't have to think about. Makes life a little sweeter.

[zenjenn]

I didn't have to work in California either, but money was a lot tighter and most of our friends came from 2-income families. And certainly if we had bought a house even a few years later than we did, we'd have been either living in a condo or I would have been working.

Being in Huntsville means a lot more financial wiggle room, but more than that, it means I have so many friends and neighbors that are also 1-income families, which means a bigger support network, more parents actively involved in the schools, more kids for my kids to play with, etc.

I don't mean to sound antiquated and I'm happy that I live in a society and time where women are free to pursue careers, but I think the entire community is better off when many or most families with kids have a parent staying at home (whether male or female). So for me it's not just about whether we personally need two incomes or not, but having a stronger community.

[Huntsville82]

I actually retired after my first was born (yep...older mom ). That was before we moved to Huntsville, so location had no play in it for us. I do notice more stay-at-home moms here than where we lived in Virginia, and like Zennjenn said, I think it makes for a better community overall. I wouldn't dare suggest that economics is the sole reason that women work, however. There are as many reasons as there are people. And, thank goodness, the women's movement gave us the ability to make the right choice for our family...whatever that choice may be.

[Southlander]

Hmmm....why am I somewhat offended by this question?

[boilrmkr]

I've never had to work. We have always lived within our means so that I could stay home.

Many women love to work and many don't think they would be happy staying home and if they aren't happy the family isn't happy. I respect that.

I know people who say over and over that they wish they could stay home with the kids but just can't afford it. They say this to me as they sit in front of the flat screen tv, in their big brand new house, on the brand new couch, near the kitchen with the ss appliances and the granite countertops. They say this as they talk about the vacation they are going on and then say they just don't know where their money goes. They just don't know why they have so much debt and no money in the bank.

It always amazes me.

I love being a SAHM and wouldn't have it any other way. We have everything we need and most of the things we want. We have no debt, money in the bank and my husband makes less than "those" people.

[Charles]

Originally Posted by Southlander

Hmmm....why am I somewhat offended by this question?

Which question and why offended?

"Does your Huntsville spouse have to work?"

or

"Did this enter the equation in your move to Huntsville?"

or

one of the questions written in the replies?

[33458]

Poke. Poke. Poke.

I worked until we had a child with special needs best served by a full-time parent. How's that for an answer?

Developmentally, it made no sense and was of no benefit to take my child from one institution and in to another.

Economically, it would have been ridiculous to attempt working any job outside the home as my meager income would have gone directly toward the (above average) expense of childcare and transportation...with not enough left over to make it a fiscally sane option.

I will work from home as I become able to set up shop, after she enters the school system and has a regular schedule.

But I get the question, not offended. YES, moving to a location where we could more easily afford a house that accommodated a growing family, to have me home (and without a paycheck) was part of our decision to move here.