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Old 02-05-2017, 04:45 AM
 
2,002 posts, read 2,963,819 times
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When I lived in Idaho people were pleasant to us even when they knew that we were from Texas. Both of my sons were born while we lived there. The one thing that I remember on this subject were bumper stickers that read "Don't Californicate Idaho".
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Old 02-05-2017, 06:04 AM
 
Location: San Francisco
3,007 posts, read 2,102,929 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slingshot View Post
When I lived in Idaho people were pleasant to us even when they knew that we were from Texas. Both of my sons were born while we lived there. The one thing that I remember on this subject were bumper stickers that read "Don't Californicate Idaho".
iT'S Commiefornicate
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Old 02-05-2017, 07:46 PM
 
363 posts, read 557,910 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by siege View Post
Sometimes it's not where you go, but what you bring with you.

Don't expect the area you chose to move into to change because you are here.
Are you referring to my post or just speaking in general? Because I never said I wanted others to change -- I asked because I want to be sure wherever I go, I'm not walking into a personality clash. That means finding a place where boundaries are respected.
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Old 02-06-2017, 12:30 AM
 
Location: Idaho Falls
75 posts, read 71,207 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jehjeh View Post
Are you referring to my post or just speaking in general? Because I never said I wanted others to change -- I asked because I want to be sure wherever I go, I'm not walking into a personality clash. That means finding a place where boundaries are respected.
Jehjeh, I'm sorry if you feel I was referring to your post. My post was about people in general, and was not meant to strike a chord in anyone in particular. No offence to any poster was intended. I don't single anyone out, especially people I don't even know. I'm not going to pick a fight with anyone, but as is the habit of small children and older people, I say what I think.

When I meet someone new and try to start a conversation, it's purpose is to get to know them a little bit. Do we share hobbies or interests ? Maybe they would like to know place to shop for something in particular, a spot to fish in, or a restaurant that has the kind of food they like. To me that's just being neighborly. I already have a family, and friends, coworkers, and neighbors, so it's not for me, but for my new acquaintance. I'm not nosy, I don't pry, or ask personal questions when I meet someone. However, if someone has no interest in a couple of minutes of small talk, I don't feel rebuffed, I figure that person just isn't interested, and I move on. I'm not so thin skinned as to feel insulted, it's just not an issue to me. It's their loss, not mine. I think most people here are about the same way. They will welcome you if you let them, but not force you to accept it. Live and let live.

I know that there are people who don't want to have friends, and the responsibility that goes along with it. Some people just want to be left alone, and live their own lives. I have a reclusive neighbor that does not even acknowledge that I snow blow his driveway and sidewalk every time it snows. I do know he is not able to shovel it himself. If I knew he was in need of help, a trip to the hospital, I would get him there. It doesn't mater if he ignores me, I don't expect anything in return. I don't do it because we are friends as we are not. I do it because we are neighbors. It's the way I was I was raised, and the way I raised my kids. It's pretty common around here. My family values have very solid definitions for principles of words like neighbor, and citizen and responsibility. I think of myself as pretty average, and middle of the road, and fairly typical of the mindset in Idaho.

Like anyplace else where the environment can get so harsh as to be life threatening, I believe people are more apt and willing to extend themselves for you. If your car broke down on the highway in a raging blizzard, someone would stop and offer to help. We know that next time it could be us, or our spouse, or child. There is no requirement to reciprocate.

I have a transplanted co-worker ( LA) who occasionally needs a lift to get his car from the shop, or some small favor. Any time someone helps him out, the first thing out of his mouth is " what will I owe you for that ? " He just doesn't get it. It's infuriating, but we all still respond and help. Maybe someday he will get it, and mesh in. That is not conformity, it's community.

I did not intend for this reply to turn into a blog ! I'm out.

Last edited by volosong; 02-11-2017 at 08:29 AM.. Reason: inserted blank lines between paragraphs to enhance readability
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Old 02-06-2017, 12:58 AM
 
Location: San Francisco
3,007 posts, read 2,102,929 times
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Try E.Harmony.com
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Old 02-08-2017, 09:19 AM
 
363 posts, read 557,910 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by siege View Post
Jehjeh, I'm sorry if you feel I was referring to your post. My post was about people in general, and was not meant to strike a chord in anyone in particular. No offence to any poster was intended. I don't single anyone out, especially people I don't even know. I'm not going to pick a fight with anyone, but as is the habit of small children and older people, I say what I think.
Oh, hey, no worries, Siege. And my apologies if you thought I was getting a bit fight-ish. No, I really wasn't sure whose post you were addressing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by siege View Post
I have a transplanted co-worker ( LA) who occasionally needs a lift to get his car from the shop, or some small favor. Any time someone helps him out, the first thing out of his mouth is " what will I owe you for that ? " He just doesn't get it. It's infuriating, but we all still respond and help. Maybe someday he will get it, and mesh in. That is not conformity, it's community.
I don't think it's that he doesn't get it -- I think it's that he's still truly not used to it. It's possible the family and friends he had growing up all sort of tallied up what they did for everyone and expected payback somehow. It's quite a switch to go from that to the concept of "Don't worry about it because one day you'll find yourself helping someone else." (I know I was relieved when the concept of "paying it forward" became mainstream because it meant I didn't have to worry about finding something that exactly matched whatever favor someone did for me.)
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Old 02-08-2017, 10:52 PM
 
Location: Idaho Falls
75 posts, read 71,207 times
Reputation: 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jehjeh View Post
Oh, hey, no worries, Siege. And my apologies if you thought I was getting a bit fight-ish. No, I really wasn't sure whose post you were addressing.



I don't think it's that he doesn't get it -- I think it's that he's still truly not used to it. It's possible the family and friends he had growing up all sort of tallied up what they did for everyone and expected payback somehow. It's quite a switch to go from that to the concept of "Don't worry about it because one day you'll find yourself helping someone else." (I know I was relieved when the concept of "paying it forward" became mainstream because it meant I didn't have to worry about finding something that exactly matched whatever favor someone did for me.)
You make a good point Jehjeh. We are all truly a product of our environment. Here's to evolution
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Old 02-09-2017, 09:29 PM
 
Location: Old Mother Idaho
25,683 posts, read 17,136,830 times
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Yup.
I knew a high school kid who moved here from Chicago, and during one winter, he thought he could make some spare change pulling people out who got stuck with his pickup.

After he got a couple of polite 'Thanks a lot!" and no money from those he helped, he gave up the idea, but after I had a little talk with him, he began doing it for free the next day.

It worked out well for him; I saw him later on, and one of those he helped was now his first girlfriend. While the romance didn't last, as it often does in those high-school romances, he ended up making a lot of new friends, which was much better for him than the loose change.

It all goes around and comes around here as a way of life.
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Old 02-10-2017, 01:28 AM
 
Location: In the gawdforsaken desert
6,611 posts, read 7,872,382 times
Reputation: 13122
So since Californians always want to move somewhere and make it like California. If we are from Arizona, if we move to Idaho Falls can we change Idaho to a "constitutional carry" and "stand your ground" state to make it more like Arizona and less like Commiefornia?
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Old 02-10-2017, 09:36 AM
 
Location: North Idaho
26,151 posts, read 34,650,516 times
Reputation: 54661
Just generalized advice, to apply to anywhere, Californians have made themselves hated all over the country, any state, by moving in, making a fuss about how they had to move out of California because they couldn't stand it any more, and then immediately starting in about how this thing was better where they came from or that thing was done better where they came from.

Which would only be annoying, but the next thing they do is to politically start agitating to change the law to make whatever new state they have moved to into California. They want some nice and expensive after school programs for their children, which will raise taxes. They want environmental laws changed to comply to what they learned watching Disney movies. They want socialist programs started because they were raised in a socialist state and believe they are "more evolved" than the people where they now live and the people where they now live should be forced to be more tolerant, which apparently means that the government should be held responsible for taking care of every details of people's lives.

They are impatient because things were frantic in California, they were always in a hurry, and they want everything to move faster instead of adjusting to local time.

So, if you are a Californian and want to move to Idaho, or to any other state in the USA, don't do any of those things and you will find that you will fit in better. Slow down. Adjust your manners. You really should not snarl at anyone who interrupts your forward motion. Wait your turn. Do not try to bring programs and behaviors and force them on the locals just because you, personally, think it is better and want to have things done your way. Accept the local culture and learn to live with it.

Keep in mind, it doesn't matter much which state you are moving to, some other Californians have moved there before you and behaved badly and irritated the local residents. So, if you want to be accepted, you are going to have to make an effort to fit yourself in. If you do make that effort, you will be accepted. If you want to insist that you are superior and things where you came from are done better, you are never going to be accepted, except by other Californians who have moved in and also think their new home isn't run as well as it could be.

Not talking to anyone specific, just a generalization.
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