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It depends on the Mormon. Some are very clique-y, some are not.
In my experience, if I'm in a group of Mormons it's uncomfortable. They will be offended if you swear, even damn offends many of them. They will be offended if you hold a beer or drink a glass of wine. If you're a female and wear a tank top or short shorts, some may ask you to cover up. You will probably be ignored if you try to discuss an r rated movie or tv program. In a group it's like they have a competition as to who can be the first to point out something they are offended by.
However, if you're offended by their contstant talk of the ward and their callings and their latest temple work and other religious topics, that's just tough. Their attitude is what they're talking about is good and true so they have the right to offend you. For that reason I would not live in a predominantly Mormon neighborhood, nor work in a place where the majority of employees are Mormon.
If you live their lifestyle, you'd probably be fine living among them even if you're a different religion. But if you do non-mormon things, then there's a good chance you won't be invited to block parties, their kids won't play with yours nor will they come to your house trick or treating.
However, one on one, they're usually more palatable. The Mormon neighbors across the street from me (the only ones in 2 or 3 blocks) are friendly and nonjudgmental, at least to my face. I seldom run into one or two Mormons who are obnoxious.
It depends on the Mormon. Some are very clique-y, some are not.
In my experience, if I'm in a group of Mormons it's uncomfortable. They will be offended if you swear, even damn offends many of them. They will be offended if you hold a beer or drink a glass of wine. If you're a female and wear a tank top or short shorts, some may ask you to cover up. You will probably be ignored if you try to discuss an r rated movie or tv program. In a group it's like they have a competition as to who can be the first to point out something they are offended by.
However, if you're offended by their contstant talk of the ward and their callings and their latest temple work and other religious topics, that's just tough. Their attitude is what they're talking about is good and true so they have the right to offend you. For that reason I would not live in a predominantly Mormon neighborhood, nor work in a place where the majority of employees are Mormon.
If you live their lifestyle, you'd probably be fine living among them even if you're a different religion. But if you do non-mormon things, then there's a good chance you won't be invited to block parties, their kids won't play with yours nor will they come to your house trick or treating.
However, one on one, they're usually more palatable. The Mormon neighbors across the street from me (the only ones in 2 or 3 blocks) are friendly and nonjudgmental, at least to my face. I seldom run into one or two Mormons who are obnoxious.
How often are you in a group of Mormon's and if you are in a group of them why would you be bothered about what they talk about? You make it sound like the Mormons you know are part of the hard core FLDS.
To the OP, if you don't choose to live in Meridian then I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Boise isn't run by Mormon's and most of the Mormon's I know in Boise aren't even active in the church. Boise is a balanced city when it comes to various religions. Downtown and environs are the most liberal and sparsely LDS populated and the further out you get in Meridian the higher the concentration is but it isn't anything like Utah or Rexburg.
But, what is the thing with Mormon's? Some of you talk about them like they are terrorists from another major religion that begins with "M".
From my experience, active Mormons are a lot more chill when compared to holy roller Evangelicals, Baptists and followers of The Church of The Nazarene, and even more chill compared to Atheists.
But, what is the thing with Mormon's? Some of you talk about them like they are terrorists from another major religion that begins with "M".
From my experience, active Mormons are a lot more chill when compared to holy roller Evangelicals, Baptists and followers of The Church of The Nazarene, and even more chill compared to Atheists.
I, too, have noticed that, and I don't understand it one bit.
I'm a liberal atheist, so there are few categories that religious people hate more. Yet all my life (I've lived in Boise since I was a month old), I've been friends, and sometimes close friends, with people who are Mormon. I even went to college in Logan, UT, population 80+% LDS. All my roommates were Mormon. The Matron of honor at my wedding was Mormon. I was a bridesmaid at her temple wedding (although like most of the guests and even most of the Mormon family members, I waited outside during the actual ceremony).
I've posted this several times in these forums before, but my experience has been pretty much all positive. The worst encounter I've ever had was in high school, I was called a "heathen" once. I laughed it off and went on to be on good terms with that person, if not precisely friends. Growing up, and in college, I was always invited along for group events, and wasn't excluded in any way, despite not being a believer. My Mormon friends went on vacations with my family and I went on vacations with their family on several occasions.
As I've said before on these forums, it depends on who you are and what you bring with you. If you are a person who likes to party, sleep around, swear, smoke or drink, you are unlikely to be close friends with Mormons. Also, if you come in expecting Mormons to hate you, you will find that they do. But if you are a person with strong values, who is at least willing to not party, smoke, swear, or drink around Mormons, and assume that most people will be friendly here (note: most people ARE friendly here), that is what you will find.
Personally, I swear a lot. But when I'm around my Mormon friends, I don't. That's pretty simple. They know who I am and what I believe, but they are fine with all that as long as I keep it relatively clean around them. Other than my language, I pretty much share their values. I don't drink, I don't party, I've been married to the same man for 15 years now. I didn't choose to have children, but if Mormons are against birth control, I've never heard about it. I even know a few who use it.
However, I am also a realist. Therefore I also accept that some of my friends will never be friends with some of my other friends. I have a friend who is a very loud, outspoken militant atheist. He would never get along with my Mormon friends. I also have a transgender friend. I think that is still beyond most religious peoples ability to accept, at least to the level that they could be friends. Some may be able to adopt a "live and let live" attitude, but not be able to progress beyond that.
Anyway, all the Mormons I know are friends because of who I am, and how I behave, not because of religious beliefs, which they know I don't share.
I used to live in one of the most heavily Mormon neighborhoods in the Boise area. All I noticed is that the neighbors were very friendly the day I moved in (found out later we were the first non-Mormon family to ever live in our house). Came over with plates of cookies and brownies in order to do a little detective work. Once they found out we were not Mormon, they remained friendly, would wave as I pulled into my driveway and then would leave me alone.
My story is.. every encounter I've had with the LDS people in Boise has been horrible. They are condescending and rude. They spend every ounce of their effort trying to convert you. My doorbell rings 5 times a day from Mormon missionaries. They find out you're not Mormon, and they make every attempt to railroad you professionally and personally. Some LDS-owned restaurants and bars won't even serve non Mormons!
Run! Run far away fast!
Or not. In reality, I've never even noticed the LDS influence here (other than how religion generally finds its way into the legislature and the policies and laws they try to pass). I doubt it will affect you if you don't want it to.
I used to live in one of the most heavily Mormon neighborhoods in the Boise area. All I noticed is that the neighbors were very friendly the day I moved in (found out later we were the first non-Mormon family to ever live in our house). Came over with plates of cookies and brownies in order to do a little detective work. Once they found out we were not Mormon, they remained friendly, would wave as I pulled into my driveway and then would leave me alone.
That could have been totally unrelated to religion. I'm not Mormon, and I don't think most of my current neighbors are, either, and we basically smile and wave and leave each other alone, too. We just aren't friends.
I would bet that if you needed them for something, though, they'd have been all over it. When I was in college, my dad got hurt. Our neighbors were all over us, asking if we needed help mowing the lawn, running errands, etc, as well as bringing dinner over pretty much every night. My dad was never Mormon. My mom was raised Mormon, but has been nonpracticing for almost 40 years now. So this wasn't because they were helping out a fellow church member, but because someone in the neighborhood needed help. Mormons make good neighbors, in general.
That could have been totally unrelated to religion. I'm not Mormon, and I don't think most of my current neighbors are, either, and we basically smile and wave and leave each other alone, too. We just aren't friends.
I would bet that if you needed them for something, though, they'd have been all over it. When I was in college, my dad got hurt. Our neighbors were all over us, asking if we needed help mowing the lawn, running errands, etc, as well as bringing dinner over pretty much every night. My dad was never Mormon. My mom was raised Mormon, but has been nonpracticing for almost 40 years now. So this wasn't because they were helping out a fellow church member, but because someone in the neighborhood needed help. Mormons make good neighbors, in general.
I think that is just an Idaho thing. People are friendly and even sometimes talkative with their neighbors or customers in store fronts, but they probably won't ask you over for drinks or a barbecue. And I agree they'd help in tough times. In LA it is different, you rarely engage neighbors. If you do, they'll likely ask you to hang out as everyone is looking for a friend in the big city (or for their big break). Different strokes for different folks.
OP, there are so many Christian-based churches in the area that it made my head spin. Even in a more liberal area like the North End, there are (and I'm guessing) 7 or so tiny to large-sized ones alone when you factor in both Christian and Catholic churches. I had no connections to Baptists in the area, but I do agree with the prior mention that the Mormons are more chill than the local evangelicals. I tried out enough of the Christian places to know that the area is very very conservative in regards to belief systems. A lot of "fire and brimstone" mentality even if it appears to be more relaxed and liberal on the outside. If that's your angle, then you'll fit in well. It's not my angle so I never did. And they could be condescending and separatist too if you're not on the same level as them. So it can work both ways. A few of them really rubbed me the wrong way once I got beyond the intros and dug deeper.
In between L.A. and Boise, Mormons, on a social level, have been the nicest group of people I've ever met. Has it been perfect? No. One of them (and by extension that family probably) stabbed me in the back on my way out of Boise, but I attribute that more to a con man whispering in some ears and don't let it detract from my overall viewpoint of how Mormons would conduct themselves with me. In an age of crassness and cynicism, I could find their lifestyle refreshing at a base level. It didn't matter to me that I have some fairly strong differences of opinion with them, but I wouldn't be stupid enough to bring them up in the first place (or would deflect the issue if I sensed a conversation turning that way). If you're being nice to me, I will definitely return the favor. Boi2socal brought up a great point about neighbor engagement. Being from L.A., it's never been too important to me to engage with neighbors apart from being pleasant and showing a base level of concern about each others' lives. Maybe where you are in New Jersey, it's the same way. If that's the case, would you really even be concerned that they're not inviting you over to join the others? Perhaps them being nice and pleasant to you is all you really need to have good neighbors. That wouldn't be any different than living in an area with zero Mormons.
That's on a social level. At a job level with its different dynamics, I'll admit it gets trickier. Once you've settled into a job and the people around you, do you like letting your hair down and be casual about topics and jokes? There's always a certain level of obvious decor and discretion. But when working for a Mormon-run business with a lot of Mormon employees, I felt that that discretion was amped up to such a degree that I would constantly say "This is ridiculous." I think "stifling" is putting it mildly. No doubt there were other issues with this place apart from feeling overly restricted in what I say and do. But it's fair to say that the atmosphere of the non-Mormons was claustrophobic, like you always had to be on guard. It leads to fracturing and cliques. There was a person or two who we would deduce be snitching over something that was said that we found fairly mundane by comparison (one of them briefly had a friend request up on my Facebook after I left, and I thought she must have lost her mind). Gossip would develop, and life would get harder for some there since they'd be tagged as not being part of the team spirit or environment. Nearly everyone I knew well was sick of being there. They had great owners, probably the best and most caring owners I'll ever have. But there's no way I'd ever want to go down a similar road again.
If you decide not to move to Boise, I'd hope it's for a better reason than "Mormons are there." If you don't mind not being in their everyday lives and are not one to rock the boat and lead a generally milquetoast existence at your jobs, then you won't have much of anything to worry about. Issues with either shouldn't mean to scratch Boise off your list but should warrant further investigating into where in the city you'd want to live and the background of the companies in the field you work in.
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