Non-parent couple from Washington DC area thinking of moving to Indy/Fishers area. Good fit? (Indianapolis: sales, houses)

[HeroicNate]

My wife and I are in Alexandria, VA which is considered to be in the Washington DC area and have lived here for the past 10 years. After this school year my wife is taking a sabbatical from teaching special education to explore professional options and we would like to move to a cheaper area to try a new place. Indianapolis seems like a good choice since I have family in the area and the cost of living is low. I'm originally from Michigan(went to CMU) and lived several years in Indiana when I was in the 4-6th grade(though never the Indianapolis area) so I'm used to and like the mid-west, but my wife is originally from the San Fransisco, CA area and has expressed concerns despite my attempts to alleviate them.

We don't have any kids nor do we plan to have any and she's concerned that we won't have anyone to socialize with. We've fallen out of touch with several friends because once they started having kids, everything becomes about the kids. Not that that's wrong, we just aren't interested in parent/kid activities. Are there non-parent oriented events/communities/groups of people in the Indy/Fishers area? Would we be treated oddly in that area given that we have no interest in having children? One might ask, since you have family there wouldn't you know? Well my family are all having kids and I tend to stand out amongst them, hence my wife's concern. I try to lift that concern by saying that my family does not represent everyone in the mid-west, but some outside opinions would help I think.

My wife is of Vietnamese descent and the major cities in which she has lived are incredibly diverse, so diversity is also a concern for her. Aside from any racism concerns, she enjoys being around a variety of people that introduce her to new ideas/cultures/histories. Just by looking at census demographics and looking back on my own experience, it's easy to see that it is not terribly racially diverse, but does that mean the area doesn't have people with a variety of backgrounds and ideas? Are there diverse cultural events, festivals, other interesting things going on that add variety? From reading the forums I see lots of people say that around Indy racism isn't a huge concern, but are there any issues to be aware of?

For the most part we tend to be home-bodies. Spending most of our time hanging out at home watching movies, working on personal projects, etc. When we go out it tends to be typical chain restaurants, book stores, cafes, movie theaters, but we enjoy going into Old Town Alexandria(historical downtown), attending festivals, farmer's markets, art events, whatever else might be going on. Any words of encouragement for why you like the Indy area? Areas you think might fit our situation? Anything else you might want to chime in with?

Addition: One of my goals is to own a home that isn't stacked on top of someone else's home. I've been sharing walls for 14+ years and I really want my own separate space. I NEED some space.

[pondermin]

Curious as to how you picked Indy and Fishers in particular. I assume because of your job. I wouldn't picture that as a great area for a "non-parent" couple looking for a diverse community with lots of "non-parent" activities. You say later that you're not big on going out except to chain businesses though, so it might be OK.

I would consider Minneapolis-St. Paul if you are looking in the midwest. It's more expensive and bigger than Indy, but probably a lot less expensive and less crowded than DC/NoVA. It also has a much higher southeast Asian population than Indy.

[HeroicNate]

Originally Posted by pondermin

Curious as to how you picked Indy and Fishers in particular. I assume because of your job. I wouldn't picture that as a great area for a "non-parent" couple looking for a diverse community with lots of "non-parent" activities.

I have a cousin in that particular area and we read that it's supposed to be a very nice place to live as well as low cost. We thought it might be close enough to Indianapolis that we could afford something nice yet still be able to go into downtown when we want. In a few weeks my cousin is going to show us around the area to see what we think. One of my life goals is to own a home that doesn't share a wall with a neighbor. Also we are looking to keep costs low while my wife explores career opportunities. I work from home and can live just about anywhere. I looked at Minneapolis-St. Paul, but from what I read the cost of housing and taxes are still pretty high in that area. Am I wrong? Also my wife can be weather sensitive so I thought maybe the winters up there may be too much.

[dadr]

Originally Posted by HeroicNate

I looked at Minneapolis-St. Paul, but from what I read the cost of housing and taxes are still pretty high in that area. Am I wrong? Also my wife can be weather sensitive so I thought maybe the winters up there may be too much.

I lived in Mpls-St. Paul for several years. Housing prices are higher on average than Indy, but it may not be too much different when comparing similar neighborhoods/developments. I also looked very closely at Carmel/Fishers and almost took a job in Indy, so I explored the taxes there as well. Property taxes are a bit lower in Indy, sales tax a bit more in Indy (no tax on clothes in MN!), income tax way higher in MN - for high earners at least. Top tax bracket I believe is going up to 9% while IN income tax is flat at around 3.25% I think. However, for low and middle class earners the income tax is probably very similar.

Winter is another story. I grew up in MN-WI. It's a good 10-20 degrees colder on average than Indy and DC. But often dry and sunny. Indy doesn't get much snow but it's cloudier and not warm in winter anyway, so I'd rather take sunnier and/or more snow, even if it's colder, than a barren brown slightly mild winter. I also lived in Chicago for several years and didn't like 35 degrees and cold rain vs. 25 degrees and dry snow. If I wanted to get away from winter I wouldn't want somewhere in between, I'd rather go someplace like NC or CA.

[HeroicNate]

Appreciate the feedback!

[CirclingLogan]

If you're the type of couple that chooses to live in Alexandria over DC, you'll probably find Indianapolis to be just fine. However, even NoVa makes Carmel look quaint and dull in comparison.

On the other hand, if your wife is from SF, I would just move back to the Bay Area. True, decent 2 bedroom houses in good neighborhoods start at $600k, but it's worth it.

If your only goal in life is to have a house at low cost, Indianapolis will work just fine.

[kenmaxpro]

My brother and sister in law live in Alexandria. She is also from SE Asia. I haven't convinced them to move here yet, but we visit there often so I am pretty familiar with what is there... From what you have disclosed about yourselves I think you may be on the right track although.

If you are looking for space and a bit more diversity you may want to look at Lawrence Twsp which is in between indy and fishers. Fishers barely existed thirty years ago and therefore you don't get much age diversity. I think there is also less racial diversity, but I do not know that for a fact.

There is plenty to do here in terms of festivals and other amenities. Each ethnic group has a festival at some point and they typically are fun and well attended.

[dadr]

Originally Posted by CirclingLogan

If you're the type of couple that chooses to live in Alexandria over DC, you'll probably find Indianapolis to be just fine. However, even NoVa makes Carmel look quaint and dull in comparison.

On the other hand, if your wife is from SF, I would just move back to the Bay Area. True, decent 2 bedroom houses in good neighborhoods start at $600k, but it's worth it.

If your only goal in life is to have a house at low cost, Indianapolis will work just fine.

I think the point was that they are at least temporarily downsizing to one income, hence the reason for looking for an affordable city. SF is in the wrong affordability direction from NoVA.

[geographystudies]

Originally Posted by HeroicNate

Indianapolis seems like a good choice since I have family in the area and the cost of living is low. I'm originally from Michigan(went to CMU) and lived several years in Indiana when I was in the 4-6th grade(though never the Indianapolis area) so I'm used to and like the mid-west, but my wife is originally from the San Fransisco, CA area and has expressed concerns despite my attempts to alleviate them.

Family in area + low CoL is not enough reason for choosing an area. Your wife is from SF and lives in DC now. Don't do this to her. Don't try to convince her that she's wrong. When she finds out she was right, it'll be the end of her being able to trust you.

Take her on a trip out there, let her see the area, but understand that pushing her to move to the Midwest if she doesn't want to would probably be the biggest mistake of your life. For people that aren't from the Midwest, it usually isn't a good fit. If you look up the native rate for states (percentage of the population that was born in that state) you'll find it is drastically higher in the midwest than anywhere else. Ask her how she feels about absurdly cold depressing winters that last for months on end. If she doesn't like it, then respect her wishes. Having traveled the country and lived on the coasts and in the Midwest, I would never consent to moving back to the Midwest.

My suggestion: Do a search with her for states that might meet both of your needs. Make a list of the things you really want, and then merge the lists so you have a list for your family instead of two individual lists. You can find an area with low cost of living and enough space for you to spread out. It might not be near your extended family, but the most important part of your family will be sitting across the counter making the list with you. That's the person you need to work with.

[Dyadic]

Originally Posted by geographystudies

Family in area + low CoL is not enough reason for choosing an area. Your wife is from SF and lives in DC now. Don't do this to her. Don't try to convince her that she's wrong. When she finds out she was right, it'll be the end of her being able to trust you.

Take her on a trip out there, let her see the area, but understand that pushing her to move to the Midwest if she doesn't want to would probably be the biggest mistake of your life. For people that aren't from the Midwest, it usually isn't a good fit. If you look up the native rate for states (percentage of the population that was born in that state) you'll find it is drastically higher in the midwest than anywhere else. Ask her how she feels about absurdly cold depressing winters that last for months on end. If she doesn't like it, then respect her wishes. Having traveled the country and lived on the coasts and in the Midwest, I would never consent to moving back to the Midwest.

My suggestion: Do a search with her for states that might meet both of your needs. Make a list of the things you really want, and then merge the lists so you have a list for your family instead of two individual lists. You can find an area with low cost of living and enough space for you to spread out. It might not be near your extended family, but the most important part of your family will be sitting across the counter making the list with you. That's the person you need to work with.

Using a hyperbole weakens your point. Indiana has a native born population of 71.5 percent. The OP's wife is from California which is at 72.3. I'll admit that I'm not the coldest beer in the fridge but it doesn't appear that Indiana's native born population is drastically higher than her home state which isn't in the midwest. Texas is 72.3 ... New York 80.0 ... Massachusetts 74.3 ... Alabama 73.0 ... Louisiana 81.8 ... Pennsylvania 79.9. Get my drift?