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Old 06-15-2008, 08:19 PM
 
1 posts, read 2,666 times
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My Father passed away from diabetes complications on Dec. 26, 2007, this is my first father's day without him, I'm totally lost and numb. I cried all day today, and got bitter when i saw people with their father's. Please tell me this will get easier, because i hurt so bad inside and don't know what to do with it. He was my hero. and i miss him dearly.
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Old 06-15-2008, 08:20 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,289 posts, read 87,176,206 times
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your note reminds me to take care of my mother. dad's gone in 97. we did not get on too well. i will make it up. i will be good to mom.

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Old 06-15-2008, 08:58 PM
 
Location: New York City
2,814 posts, read 6,853,559 times
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i am so so sorry. the pain sounds really intense right now, but it won't always feel this awful. time helps. please take care of yourself.
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Old 06-15-2008, 09:13 PM
 
Location: Home of King Willie the not so great
4,189 posts, read 3,473,899 times
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Time heals all wounds. A close friend of mine lost his father about 2 yrs ago and he still misses him. Try to think of the good times and how he touched your life. And think about what he would want you to do on this day...be sad or move forward and remember him. My grandmother died in 2003 and I still get chocked up at times. I remember her taking care of me and stuffing my face with food trying to plump me up and taking me to garage sales on Saturdays. Sorry you are sad. Take one day at a time.
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Old 06-15-2008, 09:14 PM
 
Location: Zebulon, NC
2,275 posts, read 6,293,736 times
Reputation: 3622
Quote:
Originally Posted by mel48fan View Post
My Father passed away from diabetes complications on Dec. 26, 2007, this is my first father's day without him, I'm totally lost and numb. I cried all day today, and got bitter when i saw people with their father's. Please tell me this will get easier, because i hurt so bad inside and don't know what to do with it. He was my hero. and i miss him dearly.
My father passed away five years ago last February. It does get easier; the pain never completely goes away, but it doesn't always feel as intense as it does right now. I still have my moments, but they're not as frequent, and they're not as painful.

My heart goes out to you. *hugs*
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Old 06-15-2008, 10:03 PM
 
Location: Fishers
52 posts, read 191,316 times
Reputation: 44
I lost my Dad March 17, 1999. Mom followed less than a year later on Valentine's Day, 2000. The pain does fade with time. Our son's high school graduation 2 weeks ago was bittersweet for a few minutes when I thought about how happy and proud they would be. There are still moments that choke me up, but most of the time the memories make me smile. Mom and Dad met in March, 1946, and on their first date, Dad sang "Sioux City Sue" to her. Dad would sing it to Mom whenever they talked about their courtship. I played it on Youtube today
YouTube - Guy Lombardo and His Royal Canadians - Sioux City Sue and thought about Dad. It was our own Father's Day Moment. Love you Dad!

Last edited by BCLead; 06-15-2008 at 10:15 PM..
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Old 06-16-2008, 02:38 AM
 
11 posts, read 29,723 times
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It really does get better with time. I lost my Dad in '93 ; my Mom in '96 ; and my brother who was only 11 months younger than me in '97. All were extremely difficult times to get through, but we learn to cope. I remember feeling the same way on Father's Day and Mother's Day. I was actually quite jealous of other people who were actually able to spend that day with their parents. I even stopped going out to dinner on those days for a few years because it was so difficult. I wanted desperately to tell those people to make sure that they treated their parents well.
My heart goes out to you. I still cry easily when I think of all of them, but I treasure the memories and thank the Lord everyday for allowing me to have spent the time that I had with them.
Hugs going your way.................................
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Old 06-16-2008, 03:14 AM
 
Location: Cheshire, England
238 posts, read 553,153 times
Reputation: 239
im so sorry to hear about your lost. I don't know how you feel biut i do wish that time helps you and i wish you happiness soon.
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Old 06-19-2008, 10:48 PM
 
Location: Atlanta suburb
4,725 posts, read 10,105,868 times
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This is a lovely thread. As I have read your tributes to your Dads, I feel a kinship with all of you.

My dad died a year ago 5 days before his 87th birthday. I live in GA, but went home to PA for the month to spend it with him as he was in hospice at a near-by nursing home.

It was the sweetest month of my life. We laughed about all of the funny, devilish things we each got away with when we were kids. Except, I was now sharing them with my dad, so I wasn't REALLY getting away with them anymore.

We cried together. I held his hand and stroked his forehead when he would weep from the pain or just the uncertainty of what dying would feel like.

We talked about my mother. Their life's story was "The Notebook". Not really, but it could have been. My mother had spent the last 8 years of her life in the same nursing home unable to do anything for herself with little cognitive ability left after massive strokes. My father was with her in the mornings when she woke up and would not leave at night until she had fallen asleep.

He refused to eat or drink while he was with her those long, long days because SHE couldn't eat or drink anything. If she couldn't; he wouldn't. He loved her dearly - and I adored him for his unfailing self-sacrificing love.

He quietly showed the same love and compassion to all who knew him. He was father and mother to us kids. He wouldn't go on any errand without piling us into the car with him and spinning the wheels on gravel or hitting a dip in the road at 40 mph just to make us squeal!

I didn't know until the day of his funeral that for many years he paid for my aunt's (my mom's sister, not his) heating oil because she didn't have enough income to keep warm every winter. He just prepaid her heating to the oil company every year so she would be warm. Never said a word to anyone, but my mom and her sister. What a dear, selfless human being.

I hope I do something right in my life to give some honor to this wonderful man. I hope when I see him again someday, he will be as proud to call me his daughter as I am to call him "Dad".

I will be going to PA in 10 days and will see my father's headstone for the first time. It is a moment that I long for and dread all at one time.

Thank you all for being here so I can tell someone else how very much I miss my dear father. I love you, Dad.
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Old 07-03-2008, 11:33 PM
 
22 posts, read 53,838 times
Reputation: 23
Default its tough

i feel for you - my dad died in nov 2005 and my mother died this past february - so here comes fathers day and dad's birthday and mothers dad and moms birthday . all those hallmark cards ... i felt very sad watching people buy cards very sad .... i think the first one is the hardest ... so they say . Its lousy isn't it ? i miss them alot . I stopped in to church and lit a candle for them ... I go to Mass on the dad Dad died . They sing songs -i cry .... i cry alot - it's only been such a short time -life is so different without them . Crying is good i think /..it's very honest
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