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Old 09-29-2011, 08:09 AM
 
11,288 posts, read 23,419,640 times
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^ not to mention offense or rudeness is the last thing on these people's minds when they call you "hun" or "dear". It's just the culture. Their culture.

It's not like they're saying "Yo bit*h, why don't you get your as* over here and help me out"
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Old 09-29-2011, 09:26 AM
 
Location: Scott County, IA
509 posts, read 1,051,034 times
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I call every female ma'am and every male sir. I don't care if they are 3 years old or 100.
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Old 09-29-2011, 11:40 AM
 
645 posts, read 929,126 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by duster1979 View Post
I'm a male, rapidly approaching what we generally think of as middle age although, to be honest, I'm more than likely at or beyond the halfway point of my life.

I usually get "hon" from women around my age or younger. Women old enough to have an AARP card usually give me the full "honey." So I guess it's true, the younger generations really are lazier.

Guys I usually address as "partner" or "brother." When I use "brother" I generally do it in my best Hulk Hogan voice while flexing my muscles and pointing. I spent some time out west working for a public livery stable, so when I address someone as "dude" it is usually meant as something of a slam although the recipient isn't aware of it.

Back to the whole "ma'am" thing; yes, I was raised to call women "ma'am." Then when I got to college I said "yes, ma'am" to a slightly older female professor. She didn't take offense, but did inform me that if you are unsure of the marital status of a lady you are addressing you should use "miss" rather than "ma'am." This sounded fishy to me so I checked with a professor in the department who had a PhD in English to go along with his PhD in business and with the professor who had been in charge of placement in the department for many years, and both confirmed this. This was a major state university (not in Iowa), not some 500-student church-run liberal arts college in Podunk, USA. Given that any Joe Schmoe can jump on Wikipedia and write whatever he wants, I'll trust the advice of these established professionals over whatever that website may say.


HA! That's funny! Nice to see some humor in this thread....
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Old 09-29-2011, 03:08 PM
 
22,303 posts, read 13,675,252 times
Reputation: 13515
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lily0fthevalley View Post
Since I've moved to a largish small Iowa town I've been encountering a behavior that just drives me crazy.

Men in businesses like the grocery store, auto repair shop, and carpet place use the words "Hun" and "Dear" when talking to women.

As in, "it's the aisle on the left, Hun." "I'll call you when it's ready, dear."

Is this not 2011?

Did we not get rid of this kind of thing in the 1970s?

Do men in Central Iowa really not know that it is offensive to call a strange woman by words that should only be used as an endearment for a person they know well?

Do they not know to use the word "ma'am" when speaking with an older woman?

Do they not know when addressing younger women or women in general, it's fine to just leave off the endearment? "It's the aisle on the left." "I'll call you when it's ready."

Seriously, what is WRONG with them? Do men do this in other parts of Iowa?

I've not encountered this ANYWHERE else as an adult, even when I lived in deep south Arkansas!


I guess we are just social rejects. I do not call anyone "hun" or "dear", but do not tak offense at anyone using those terms. It is better than being called other things.
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Old 10-02-2011, 05:56 PM
 
1,699 posts, read 3,812,230 times
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[quote=Lily0fthevalley;21056975]

Here's a rule of thumb to bear in mind, cutie pie - would you use the same term when you are speaking to a man?


Do you know where the phrase "rule of thumb" comes from? Your use of it unfortunately diminishes your credibility on the very issue you're raising here.

I get why the whole thing bothers you though and hope you politely voice your opinion on the matter to the men who actually call you hon and dear.

Interesting thread.
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Old 10-02-2011, 09:53 PM
 
2,949 posts, read 9,185,664 times
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The OP's attitude is really representative of what so many Americans hate about the evolution of our culture. It implies there is one right way of doing things and you are wrong, ignorant and rude if you don't think the same way as the enlighted few. The OP is really just spewing glorified political correctness. In essence, it's tunnel vision on an issue that shouldn't be an issue.

Regardless, people speak this way to be friendly throughout the country, it isn't unique to Iowa. It is common in rural areas throughout the South and Midwest. And there is a saying, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. The OP needs to put on her big girl pants and just deal.
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Old 10-03-2011, 12:14 AM
 
4,779 posts, read 6,507,166 times
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To the OP, When you hear an older women call a young man "Hon or Dear" are you equally offended?

I imagine I've been called Dear by women in 30 different states. She hands me my change, ticket, receipt, etc. says "Here ya go Dear!" I say "Thank you!" with a smile and continue on with my day. In no way do I find it offensive.
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Old 10-03-2011, 11:56 AM
 
645 posts, read 929,126 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dport7674 View Post
To the OP, When you hear an older women call a young man "Hon or Dear" are you equally offended?

I imagine I've been called Dear by women in 30 different states. She hands me my change, ticket, receipt, etc. says "Here ya go Dear!" I say "Thank you!" with a smile and continue on with my day. In no way do I find it offensive.

Exactly!
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Old 10-03-2011, 02:04 PM
 
48 posts, read 102,318 times
Reputation: 50
I suppose I could try "cupcake". I bet that would go over.
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Old 10-06-2011, 09:03 AM
 
14 posts, read 33,941 times
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Well, instead of hon, or dear, they could say, "Aisle 4 *****". That is more the trend these days with Regularing programing on TV say things like,"he hasn't got the balls to do that, **** on that, or calling someone a son of a *****". They new detective programs like Law and Order, Criminal Minds etc are full of such language. I'm not complaining, I'm just surprised that we have progressed/regress that far on TV.
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