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Old 10-23-2011, 01:37 PM
 
9,409 posts, read 10,366,696 times
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:::shrug::: I just prefer to be called by my name, not some silly little "term of endearment".
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Old 10-23-2011, 03:18 PM
 
120 posts, read 281,299 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElleTea View Post
I've lived in Iowa my entire life. The first part in SE Iowa, and 10 years now in Des Moines. I prefer to not be addressed as "honey" or "dear" by people I don't know. I don't prefer it. I don't get upset about it or even really annoyed, but I really don't like it.

So, not ALL Iowans view it positively or prefer it. I actually find it to be a bit degrading when it is used in places that are supposedly "men's places" like an auto parts store. If I walk into O'Reilly to buy some oil or to pick up a bulb to fix my burnt out tailight (which I will do myself) don't say "What do you need, honey?" and assume that I don't know what I am looking for because I am a girl.
I currently live in Iowa, but am not a native Iowan. I understand preferring not to be called "terms of endearment" by strangers, but in these instances, they aren't terms of endearment, they are simply stand-ins for your name when people don't know your name. The 'hon' or 'dear' that the clerk in the auto parts store is calling you is because they don't know your name; that usage is clearly NOT a term of endearment. Now if your significant other, partner, spouse called you 'hon' or 'dear' it would be framed in an entirely different context with and loaded with an emotional subtext that would indeed add up to a term of endearment.

Given my druthers, I would prefer to be addressed by my name, but unless I have my name spray painted across my forehead, how are strangers, clerks, waiters/waitresses supposed to know what to call me? I am not going to get upset or irritated because someone is trying to be polite, or what they consider to be polite. My identity neither arises from nor is affected by what a clerk in a store calls me..... jmho.

Agree though that it can sometimes be irritating to walk into an auto parts store and have them automatically assume that I don't know what I want simply because I am a woman. But that is their issue, not mine, and truly, it doesn't happen very often to me. More often than not, the clerks in auto parts stores are ready and willing to be helpful and answer my questions, and honestly, as long as I get the assistance and answers I need, they can call me anything they like.

Last edited by swlmc2; 10-23-2011 at 03:27 PM..
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Old 10-24-2011, 12:18 PM
 
9,409 posts, read 10,366,696 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by swlmc2 View Post
I currently live in Iowa, but am not a native Iowan. I understand preferring not to be called "terms of endearment" by strangers, but in these instances, they aren't terms of endearment, they are simply stand-ins for your name when people don't know your name. The 'hon' or 'dear' that the clerk in the auto parts store is calling you is because they don't know your name; that usage is clearly NOT a term of endearment. Now if your significant other, partner, spouse called you 'hon' or 'dear' it would be framed in an entirely different context with and loaded with an emotional subtext that would indeed add up to a term of endearment.

Given my druthers, I would prefer to be addressed by my name, but unless I have my name spray painted across my forehead, how are strangers, clerks, waiters/waitresses supposed to know what to call me? I am not going to get upset or irritated because someone is trying to be polite, or what they consider to be polite. My identity neither arises from nor is affected by what a clerk in a store calls me..... jmho.

Agree though that it can sometimes be irritating to walk into an auto parts store and have them automatically assume that I don't know what I want simply because I am a woman. But that is their issue, not mine, and truly, it doesn't happen very often to me. More often than not, the clerks in auto parts stores are ready and willing to be helpful and answer my questions, and honestly, as long as I get the assistance and answers I need, they can call me anything they like.
Okay, I get that, by why call a person anything at all? Why not say "Can I help you." period instead of adding "hon" to the end? I've just never been one to have to call everyone SOMETHING, even in a customer service environment. When I worked retail I never said "Can I help you find something, sweetie?" I simply said "Can I help you find something?"

Like I said earlier, it doesn't bother me, really, but it is something that I think about from time to time. (I'm not the one who gets irritated or upset, I think that was the OP, I simply chimed in because someone else felt the need to post that "all Iowans" like it when that is clearly not the case) I had a boss who called everyone something from babydoll to sweetie pie (it was a woman) and it did get annoying after awhile because it seemed she used the terms to try to make up for the fact that she wasn't a nice person. LOL!

I think it depends on how you are raised. I wasn't raised in a household where anyone called anyone anything other than their name. (Unless we were talking to the cats; they were usually called every cutesy name in the world EXCEPT their name! )

Now to change the subject a little, one thing that DOES drive me crazy is the use of "Thank ya much!" in place of thank you. I never heard that until I moved to the middle of the state. How about saying "thank you" or "thank you very much" instead of using some weird hybrid of the 2 that makes no sense?
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Old 11-02-2011, 06:34 PM
 
Location: In Denial
688 posts, read 1,114,650 times
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well, what about the Virginia " y'all " ?

Last edited by marska; 11-02-2011 at 06:35 PM.. Reason: spelling
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Old 11-02-2011, 08:52 PM
 
21,007 posts, read 10,546,972 times
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and they didnt give you a courtesy booty squeeze? Why the nerve of some men!
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Old 01-22-2016, 03:15 PM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
9,257 posts, read 17,869,157 times
Reputation: 12591
I know that this thread has been dead for over five years, but I had to come back and report that the cute girl at the Kwik Stop, whom I don't believe I've ever seen in my entire life, called me "babe" when I went in to pay for my gas. I have to say that I rather liked it.

I usually limit myself to one pop a day, but I think I'm going to stop in to get one for the drive home just in case she's still there.
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Old 02-02-2016, 11:49 AM
 
Location: Iowa, USA
338 posts, read 268,292 times
Reputation: 423
I just got called "my dear" ("Here you go, m'dear!") by a Starbucks barista, probably ~25 years old (i.e. 15-20 years my junior), right here in Seattle, WA. It happens everywhere.
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Old 02-03-2016, 07:08 AM
 
Location: MetroWest Boston
317 posts, read 335,242 times
Reputation: 412
Everyone is different. If you don't like the way someone addresses you, why not just politely tell them not to call you that instead of keep it all inside? They won't know if you don't say anything.
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Old 02-03-2016, 09:03 AM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
20,233 posts, read 25,370,751 times
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Waitresses at mid level dining establishments do that everywhere say "hon" and "dear". I have been called the later, by librarians and medical secretaries, as well.

I don't think it's a "central Iowas problem". In fact, I don't think it's a problem.

I think that some people, who deal with many people in their line of work, get into this habit. It's similar to "ma'am", and it's used by "women of a certain age".

It doesn't bother me, hon.
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Old 02-03-2016, 11:58 PM
 
4,776 posts, read 6,501,451 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dport7674 View Post
To the OP, When you hear an older women call a young man "Hon or Dear" are you equally offended?

I imagine I've been called Dear by women in 30 different states. She hands me my change, ticket, receipt, etc. says "Here ya go Dear!" I say "Thank you!" with a smile and continue on with my day. In no way do I find it offensive.

Going on 5 yrs since I wrote this ^ response. Where does the time go?
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