No friends in Iowa!

[gayleinAZ]

Well I'd like to relocate to CR myself. I lived there years ago as a kid and still think I'd like it. When I get there I plan to hold some sort of block party.. well maybe an open house. I know I'll need some guidence in regard to the area and what better way to do that than to FEED the neighbors and ask their opinions. I don't think the whole event has to be fancy.. just fun! If no one comes well then at least I can say I tried and I'll put everything into the freezer. Moving on I'll volunteer to help the organization that's revitalizing downtown or get my feet wet elsewhere. I've finally learned after 50+ years that the world WILL NOT COME TO YOU IF YOU PARK YOUR BUTT ON THE COUCH AND NEVER GET THE BALL ROLLING!

So tell me a newcomer's view on Cedar Rapids. I love the idea that it is so close to Ill, MN, WS and all those areas to explore with Farmers Markets, apple orchards, vineyards and the Mississippi less than an hour away... talk about centrally located! WOW! Maybe that should be a new CR motto.. 'CR the gateway to the great American Midwest'!

[wakemenow]

As a transplant in Des Moines, living here more than 4 years now, I can completely understand the original posters complaint. It is REALLY hard breaking into the social scene here, even in a town of 200,000+, because so many people residing here were born in the area and lived here their entire lives, having grown up with the friends they keep. Iowans are on the conservative side, but more so I think they're cool toward new and seemingly strange folks from other regions of the country. And I am active -- I've been involved with volunteer work for over 2 years and have met plenty of people. It's just that we never seem to get beyond superficiality, and when I attempt to, they retreat.

Many, many times I've considered moving away. My friends in Nebraska and down South tell of knowing people who lived here in Iowa for years and finally gave up and moved due to loneliness. My feelings of isolation run deep and definitely is making it difficult to continue living in this area. If not for my job and one friend I met prior to moving here I'd probably have left after the first 2 years.

So, CR-transplant, you are not alone. Down South people are more into socializing and developing kin ties, whereas up here people just have a different way of doing things. I chalk much of it up to a culture clash.

[ashcody]

OP, I know how you feel in a way. I grew up in a town of 11,000 people (in IA as well) and everyone really does know everyone's last name....I didn't like that so I moved to C.R. and love the fact that I'm just another number. It is extremely hard to meet new friends (but I think it's hard to do no matter where you move to) I finally gave up since the people I was meeting at Kirkwood were a few years younger than me and on a completely different maturity level than myself...my boyfriend is much more "people-oriented" than I am, I'm much more quiet, keep to myself type...he met some friends up here and luckily I got along with one of the guy's girlfriends...she ended up introducing me to all of her friends and fortunately we all get along great. I think maybe, don't take it the wrong way....but don't try so hard, you might just make friends when you least expect it. Best of luck to you!

[frizzy22]

Hi..I totally agree with you!! I stay in Hiawatha,CR. and the neighbors don't even smile back if you greet them..dunno know how am i going to survive here..

[Blueue]

I moved to Cedar Falls Iowa from SLC, Utah, and I have never been more lonely in my entire life! Iowans are polite on the outside, but reserved, conservative, and SO hard to get close to for a newcomer. It is a lonely place for an 'outsider' with no extended family around.

In Utah, people are so friendly. And its easy to make friends with all kinds of different people. Even for a non-Mormon such as myself. Plus people are more reserved about their religion - here even the school teachers constantly bring up their religion (few boundaries/separation of church and state in schools here). It feels like I live in the Bible belt sometimes. Utah seems liberal by comparison, in this way.

My 13 and 16 YO kids plan to leave the state right after high school to go back to the U of U.

I want to go home too!!! Too bad I am stuck here until my husband retires. After these last few years of trying and trying to extend the hand of friendship, host dinner parties, etc... (people come, but then Iowans don't seem to follow the normal rules of reciprocation, and the friendships dead-end) we are hoping he can retire early. Some days being so lonely in this place feels like a prison sentence. I wish I could integrate - I once thought we would settle here, but at this point I really just can't wait to leave!!!

[sequoias]

Good places to find friends is meet at social clubs of your favorite hobby or whatever.

[hugepossum]

Yes, this thread has been resurrected once again. Yey. This was posted like 4 years ago.