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Before you guys start accusing me of being "narrow-minded", please note that I understand that covering your head is perfectly fine with me if it's a personal choice in order to abide by the Quran's rules. However, in the case I'm about to describe, it's pure mockery.
Back in 2009, my muslim mother started an emotional affair with a non-muslim man. They saw each other often, talked all the time and texted all the time. She confessed this to me a couple of months after she had started this "affair". I was young at the time, 17. I had no clue what to do especially as she was blackmailing me in order for me to keep my mouth shut.
I had enough and warned my dad that something was going on with my mom. She later denied the facts and called me a "liar". She stopped talking to me for months and even requested me to "apologize" for my "lie". She obviously doesn't have a conscience. My dad believed her.
Fast forward, 2014, my dad unknowingly "met" the guy my mom had an affair with (they worked together). After he met him, he quickly realized the affair was still going on. The man even came to the house looking for my mom, twice.
Instead of acting like a respectable man and filing for divorce, he gave my dear mother the benefit of the doubt (he hasn't confronted her yet) although he has physical evidence of the "affair". What's more shocking is that instead of taking the bull by the horns and calling it a day, he's now turning around my mother's cheating behavior on my younger siblings.
He forced my mother to wear that "Niqab" thing (she doesn't even know he knows about the affair still going on) in order to prevent her from cheating and attracting other men. Too late for that buddy. He thinks it's a first step when in reality, it's just a mockery because my mother has never even worn a Hijab. She's very much "westernized". This Niqab is a joke in my opinion. Instead of confronting her like a man, he's playing kids' games.
Plus, he turned this around on us, his female children. He claims he wants my sisters to stop living the "western" way (they're 10, mind you) and start conforming to religion very strictly. He says he hates everyone that is non-muslim and doesn't want any of my siblings to have "Western" friends. Sure, except they live in a Western country. He said - "I hate this country and I'm going to erase this Western mentality you have". We've always been brought up the "Western" way.
He's delusional if you ask me. My mother is the one who cheated. He can't turn this around on us. He clearly lacks clarity. He just doesn't know ow to handle the situation. We used to live just like any other "Western" family before this drama happened. I don't see why my younger siblings should be the collateral victims of this mess my dear mother created.
Truthfully, they're making a mockery out of this religion yet can't stop critizing people for not being religious enough (please!). I no longer want to be associated with them as they're promoting some sort of "I hate white people" propaganda at home, at all times! It's not right. He should confront my mom for real about the cheating, not beat around the bush like that. He said it's a first step (haha).
I am confused as to what this all has to do with Islam. It sounds more like a Relationship issue, not an Islamic one.
Well, the Niqab is the relevant part here. Forcing someone and their children to wear a head scarf but for all the wrong reasons. He wants to make them wear that outfit based on my mother's cheating behavior, not on actual religious grounds. Hence, I believe this is a mockery.
One wears that outfit because they want to abide by the Quran's rules, not because they're forced into it as a "punishment" for cheating. Especially as my sisters have nothing to do with this and imposing such sanction because my mother cheated is unreasonable.
Well, the Niqab is the relevant part here. Forcing someone and their children to wear a head scarf but for all the wrong reasons. He wants to make them wear that outfit based on my mother's cheating behavior, not on actual religious grounds. Hence, I believe this is a mockery.
One wears that outfit because they want to abide by the Quran's rules, not because they're forced into it as a "punishment" for cheating. Especially as my sisters have nothing to do with this and imposing such sanction because my mother cheated is unreasonable.
The Quran dosen't require women to wear Niqab or Hijab. It is the women's choice if she wants to!!! Being forced to wear something is wrong.
This topic suits Relationships forum more especially for the cheating part.
The Quran dosen't require women to wear Niqab or Hijab. It is the women's choice if she wants to!!! Being forced to wear something is wrong.
This topic suits Relationships forum more especially for the cheating part.
I'm sorry your going through this
Thank you very much for your input!
Well, I should have rephrased the title of the topic to: "Is forcing them to wear the Hijab reasonable?"
You can't force the perpetuator of a sin and the children (who shouldn't be involved in this) to wear a Hijab because that one foolish person made a mistake. He's using religion against everyone to punish innocent people for something they didn't even do. He should be dealing with this privately. He now hates the Western mentality but I don't understand why he has to use "religion" as a punishment?
He said: "I can tell you to wear it too, if I want to" - Hum. I'm 24, thank you very much. My mother cheated and using religion to "punish" us is unreasonable in my opinion. He's using religion as a punishment instrument which is why I posted this thread.
It is forbidden to force a woman to dress in any manner. It has to be of her own free will. Just as no one is to force a woman to pray or prevent her if she desires to.
Maybe in his own way he is trying to protect his family. I know it does not make any sense, but you have to try to see it from his point of view. Maybe, in his thinking the problems between your Mom and him started because she took on to many western values. You also have to remember that your Dad must be hurting from your Moms affair. Sorry your Moms actions have caused so much hurt in your family, doubly sorry that she put you in a very unfair spot about the whole affair. I am not Muslim, but maybe this is more of a way for your Dad to deal with this than an out right religious answer. Maybe it is easier for him to accept she had an affair because she fell into temptation , when it would be very much harder to accept she had an affair because she at the time did not place much value on your Dad 's feelings .
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