Boy and Dog Fall in Hole: ENTIRE COUNTY TOO PLUMP TO GO IN AFTER THEM (Jackson: 2015)

[GrandviewGloria]

They fell into that hole in the yard, and the whole county was too stout to get down in there and save them.

Or at least that's how it looks, from the picture accompanying the article: Boy, dog rescued from hole Blow up that picture, and you'll see what I mean. Supposedly, every rescue team in the county was there. I'm surprised their combined weight didn't cause the ground to give way.

Menfolk who've been raised on barbecue sauce and sweet tea tend to be excellent at certain tasks. They're great at hunting Mississippi's giant Alligators. Mississippi River produces 14-foot record alligator, newspaper reports | NOLA.com They can intimidate the giant, deadly, Wild Russian Boars that are tearing up the countryside https://localtvwghp.files.wordpress....pg?w=660&h=371. Mississippi menfolks' feet are too big to be snapped-off in the mouths of the dreaded Alligator Snapping Turtles, which lurk in every stream, puddle, and culvert: http://www.austinsturtlepage.com/Car...alisnapper.jpg

If a man's big enough, Mississippi's enormous Alligator Garfish (http://listverse.wpengine.netdna-cdn...igator-gar.jpg), with their double rows of razor-sharp teeth, will not see him as prey. And the ever-present Cottonmouth Water Moccasins (http://www.naturallyamazing.com/americasparks/2403.jpg) will think twice, before trying to take down a big man. Snakes' fangs can't penetrate beyond that crucial fat layer on Mississippi Menfolk. Nor can the snake's coils wrap around such monumental men. Giant Asian Hornets are in Mississippi. But, once again, a man raised on sweet tea has that insulating fat layer, which will tend to keep venom from being pumped directly into nerves and muscle. So, even if he sits on a hornet's nest, he will probably be just fine.

Panthers (http://www.gannett-cdn.com/-mm-/e682...97Q1D0.1-0.jpg) won't jump down on them from trees. And bears (Bears roaming, looking for new territory in central Mississippi | Local News - WAPT Home) are likely to give them a wide berth.

Too, fellas like that can sure keep you warm at night. Who better for cuddling? But when it comes to getting down into deep holes, those hefty boys are at a disadvantage.

Little Gabe and his trusty dog are lucky that Gabe was finally able to hook himself to that rope, and be pulled out.

[brickpatio]

Once again, laugh-out-loud funny. I hope you find a way to paid for your columns some day. And as a bonus, somehow it was funny without being hurtful, i.e. the men on the rescue teams who read this will probably laugh more than anyone.

And let's face it, anyone who has been to Wal-Mart in Magee, MS (okay, any Wal-Mart) knows there is no one under 300 pounds anywhere in sight. And I believe the boy in the hole was in neighboring Lincoln County. So there you go. God love 'em. Now, time for my midnight snack; where's my chocolate cookie-dough ice cream...

[Seadory]

Great stuff! I have to agree with brickpatio. And the VISUALS! Love how the piece is enhanced with all those exotic animals.

Although I must say that Mississippi doesn't corner the market on chubbies! I'll bet S. California is close behind.
Thank you for another great post.

[Charles22]

Not sure what the OP is getting at. I watched the video and there seemed to be a variety of people of various sizes. No one was really that porky.

Not sure why fat-shaming men is necessary for this story.

[GrandviewGloria]

Well, DANG! They took away the GOOD picture, and put a video in its place: a video full of little SKINNY men.

Here's the original picture. Not sure how long the link will last....
http://www.gannett-cdn.com/-mm-/34f3...BRSCCH-1-0.jpg

And thanks, BrickPatio & Seadory! I appreciate the praise.

Oh, and for whatever it's worth, I tend to have a thing for fellas who are 'well-filled-out'. I used to watch Toby Keith videos, just to look at HIM. The sound was turned off, though. His schmalz-bucket caterwaulin' is not my thing, at all...

But back to that HOLE. If I'm ever down in a well, I hope they'll keep the F-150s a hundred yards away. And there don't need to be 22 bubbas trompin' around, either. Let's keep the soil vibrations to a minimum. OK?

[madison2013]

Originally Posted by Charles22

Not sure what the OP is getting at. I watched the video and there seemed to be a variety of people of various sizes. No one was really that porky.

Not sure why fat-shaming men is necessary for this story.

Just ignore her. She's trying really hard to be funny.

[Seadory]

Originally Posted by madison2013

Just ignore her. She's trying really hard to be funny.

Oh madison! Aren't you a cheeky little monkey! Sadly, there is no way to cultivate a sense of humor, but I'm sure you have many other redeeming features.

[preguntas]

Originally Posted by GrandviewGloria

Well, DANG! They took away the GOOD picture, and put a video in its place: a video full of little SKINNY men.

Here's the original picture. Not sure how long the link will last....
http://www.gannett-cdn.com/-mm-/34f3...BRSCCH-1-0.jpg

And thanks, BrickPatio & Seadory! I appreciate the praise.

Oh, and for whatever it's worth, I tend to have a thing for fellas who are 'well-filled-out'. I used to watch Toby Keith videos, just to look at HIM. The sound was turned off, though. His schmalz-bucket caterwaulin' is not my thing, at all...

But back to that HOLE. If I'm ever down in a well, I hope they'll keep the F-150s a hundred yards away. And there don't need to be 22 bubbas trompin' around, either. Let's keep the soil vibrations to a minimum. OK?

My gosh, my eyes are getting so bad; I thought that was the Summer VEGANCON.

[GrandviewGloria]

Originally Posted by preguntas

My gosh, my eyes are getting so bad; I thought that was the Summer VEGANCON.

You mean this? : Vida Vegan HQ

Yes... If you really squint, there is a resemblance.