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Old 01-15-2022, 09:41 PM
 
Location: PNW, CPSouth, JacksonHole, Southampton
3,528 posts, read 5,102,485 times
Reputation: 13838

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Quote:
Originally Posted by viverlibre View Post
GG, this got me down a Zillow of rabbit hole of looking for the most expensive properties in the Jxn metro. It's telling how few $1m plus properties there are in a metro area of 500k people.
I know. I've been looking - in-earnest, since Oregon lost its collective mind, and Washington State went "totally off with the Pixies". (New York's future is looking dicey, too, while for Jackson Hole, to borrow some words from War of the Worlds: "...intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic, regarded this earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely drew their plans...". )

The only Jackson Metro house with a fur vault (climate-controlled), is in a faux-gated enclave in Jackson-proper: the (beautiful, Georgian-Palladian) house once described (as local lore goes) by a witchy old neighbor trying to prevent its construction, as "Some kinda Mafia house. Who needs all those walls? What have they got to hide? Ah just feel like that it's too big and too nice for our neighborhood." (The family constructing it, were strawberry-blond Scottish Presbyterians, who owned some sort of business supplying schools with something - a business which, while it's probably "a racket", does not exactly fit the description of 'Racketeering'). Anybody owning significant amounts of cashmere, needs a fur vault. But I haven't run across any, for sale, except for that one.

And so it goes: all the exquisite and well-considered properties FOR SALE, are in parts of the Metro where people are trying to sell-out-and-FLEE.

Homes for sale in Madison County, in the Over-a-million category, form some sort of Parade of Horribles. While estate homes around Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, and San Francisco, feature progressions of terraced gardens becoming less formal as they segue into surrounding woodland, Madison County mansions feature big-giant catfish fryers.

While in planning PNW estates, no opportunity seems lost, in creating the maximum number of spots for rhododendrons and the various majestic conifers native to the Pacific Rim, Madison County's grand estates seem planned around maximizing opportunities for spraying herbicides. "Nothin' lak thuh smell o' Roundup in thuh mornin!"

In traditional Southern parlance, there is a step below 'Redneck': 'White Trash'. While most of Jackson's beautiful homes were created by rich, educated Rednecks with refined tastes, winning life-strategies, and multigenerational wealth, you cannot say that about what I've seen in Madison County. I would not slander Rednecks, by calling those overgrown maisons crapaudières I've seen, "Redneck Dream Homes".

To these people, digging a hole in the ground, edging it with smelly creosote-soaked wooden embankments, and filling it with water, is making a "lake" (or a "pond"). Spraying the edge with some evil poison, to kill the weeds, is their idea of "landscaping". I don't think that the concept of edging the "lake" with trees - or trees underplanted with shrubbery and groundcover - is something they've ever even heard of. I know: this is impossible to imagine - particularly in the Deep South, where one actually, desperately, needs trees for shade. But this is how ignorant these people are. What is the word? ...primitive? ...insensate? I struggle for words, where they're concerned.

For the building site we held, for a while, inside Madison, we had an arborist grooming the forest, a native plants expert increasing species diversity on the forest floor, and a freshwater lakes expert tweaking our pond's biome. North of Madison, though, I'm seeing nothing but destruction of the natural world.

Before we moved away, one of the local society rags had an ad for a subdivision. A dumpy "dad" was waddling with his toddler, beside one of those ugly, barren, creosote-edged "lakes". There were some dying ducklings in the muddy water - not a tree or shrub or flower in sight. This was offered as an example of the "natural beauty" awaiting one, upon purchase of a lot in that enclave. Somebody actually considered that to be an attractive ad. Apparently, things have only gotten worse, since we left.

In the Pacific Northwest, one goes to gatherings in gardens, where there's a flute and a harp and a violin, and people mill-about, and quietly form alignments of deadly-serious magnitude. While the food is beautiful, everybody is fasting, except for the assistants and the children. Or, there's a 'Quiet Music' band, playing something equally soothing, while one gently drifts between groups, and the questions of the day, for venture capitalists and hedgefunders, run along the lines of whether those bright young things over there, are thinking 'IPO', or will just be selling their startup, outright. Filler conversation, is whether one is still following a Vegan Keto diet, or has transitioned, yet, to Carnivore Keto.

In Madison County, judging from the big-giant fryers and the built-in "onion" smokers, I have to imagine that the music is warmed-over John Denver and Linnird Skinnird, played by somebody's Cousin Lonnie and somebody else's cousin Cody - or the speakers are just blasting one of those wretched "Classic Rock" channels on Sirius. One supposes that the question of the day, is "Boiiiii! When yeeeew gon' geeeeyit ov-arr an' git-cheeeew sum-at catfish an' hushpuppehz!" Living The Good Life, apparently, is a matter of getting one's mouth level with a paper plate, and shoveling-in food that's either fried in PUFA oils, or smoked......followed by "Sum 'ayiiiit geuiiiiid Naaaayiiiiner Puuuid'nnnn".

The sort of people who shaped all those wonderful homes in Jackson - homes which SHOULD be going for multiples of a million, are mostly GONE from the metro - and gone from the region: as are we.



Last edited by GrandviewGloria; 01-15-2022 at 10:01 PM..
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Old 01-16-2022, 08:41 AM
 
2,490 posts, read 1,413,169 times
Reputation: 2620
Quote:
Originally Posted by GrandviewGloria View Post
I know. I've been looking - in-earnest, since Oregon lost its collective mind, and Washington State went "totally off with the Pixies". (New York's future is looking dicey, too, while for Jackson Hole, to borrow some words from War of the Worlds: "...intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic, regarded this earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely drew their plans...". )

The only Jackson Metro house with a fur vault (climate-controlled), is in a faux-gated enclave in Jackson-proper: the (beautiful, Georgian-Palladian) house once described (as local lore goes) by a witchy old neighbor trying to prevent its construction, as "Some kinda Mafia house. Who needs all those walls? What have they got to hide? Ah just feel like that it's too big and too nice for our neighborhood." (The family constructing it, were strawberry-blond Scottish Presbyterians, who owned some sort of business supplying schools with something - a business which, while it's probably "a racket", does not exactly fit the description of 'Racketeering'). Anybody owning significant amounts of cashmere, needs a fur vault. But I haven't run across any, for sale, except for that one.


The sort of people who shaped all those wonderful homes in Jackson - homes which SHOULD be going for multiples of a million, are mostly GONE from the metro - and gone from the region: as are we.


You could say they are “gone with the wind”.
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Old 01-16-2022, 02:49 PM
 
1,182 posts, read 1,435,962 times
Reputation: 2393
Quote:
Originally Posted by GrandviewGloria View Post
In Madison County, judging from the big-giant fryers and the built-in "onion" smokers, I have to imagine that the music is warmed-over John Denver and Linnird Skinnird, played by somebody's Cousin Lonnie and somebody else's cousin Cody - or the speakers are just blasting one of those wretched "Classic Rock" channels on Sirius. One supposes that the question of the day, is "Boiiiii! When yeeeew gon' geeeeyit ov-arr an' git-cheeeew sum-at catfish an' hushpuppehz!" Living The Good Life, apparently, is a matter of getting one's mouth level with a paper plate, and shoveling-in food that's either fried in PUFA oils, or smoked......followed by "Sum 'ayiiiit geuiiiiid Naaaayiiiiner Puuuid'nnnn".
Dang GG, that cuts deep! What next, you gonna disparage The Allman Brothers, The Outlaws, Zeppelin, Lou Reed, Johnny Cash, Steppenwolf, Dylan? If you could only see how much of my back deck real estate is taken up by grills (charcoal only - preferably weber - no self respecting person would own gas), smokers, fryers, flat screens and stereo equipment (I'm currently on a 70s kick).

Last edited by viverlibre; 01-16-2022 at 03:16 PM..
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Old 01-18-2022, 03:08 PM
 
Location: PNW, CPSouth, JacksonHole, Southampton
3,528 posts, read 5,102,485 times
Reputation: 13838
Quote:
Originally Posted by viverlibre View Post
Dang GG, that cuts deep! What next, you gonna disparage The Allman Brothers, The Outlaws, Zeppelin, Lou Reed, Johnny Cash, Steppenwolf, Dylan? If you could only see how much of my back deck real estate is taken up by grills (charcoal only - preferably weber - no self respecting person would own gas), smokers, fryers, flat screens and stereo equipment (I'm currently on a 70s kick).
Mea culpa, MAXIMA! It's my frustration with what I've found for sale, so far. There was this one massive White Trash Chateau, out near Annandale, which had decent bones. Someone had copied the brilliant original (unbuilt) arched two-storey colonnade scheme, for Madison's City Center - at least for the facade of the main body of the house. Instead of Corinthian columns, though, they'd used Deadly-dull Doric. And I'm not about to tolerate Doric columns. Someone - maybe a father of psychiatry, or a modernist architect - said something like, "The Doric temple is a machine for grinding a populace into submission". (https://www.google.com/search?q=ionic+temple+sicily&tbm=isch&chips=q:gree k+temple+sicily,g_1:agrigentoNaYXJRdNZg%3D&client= firefox-b-1-d&hl=en-US&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiE2_TPmbz1AhWEwFMKHZAVCiQQ4lYoA XoECAEQHQ&biw=948&bih=473) I prefer Ionic and Corinthian columns. The Ionic and Corinthian "orders" reflect the more graceful minds and bodies of the peoples for whom they were created - peoples not threatened by lyricism and complexity.

But anyway, someone on my team proposed Roman-style leaf-like ornaments which could be applied to those vile Doric columns, to take the stink off them, and make them more like 'Temple of the Winds'. It was a matter of having an original carved in Sweden, to be used for making a mold for casting 96 copies for fitting-onto the two-dozen columns to be de-doricised. And then, a team member found an architect in Mississippi, who personally carved flawlessly-correct Anthemions - in mahogany - for a fast food restaurant in Madison. (People do not appreciate, nearly enough, what Mayor Mary and HER TEAM have done for that town, for that county, and for the State of Mississippi: Mayor Mary is a MIRACLE, and she brings miracles into being, day-after-day.)

However, I couldn't get past the treeless grounds, and the sparse sprinkling of shrubs around the house. The liberal use of herbicide was so obvious, its stench overwhelmed me, two thousand miles away, just looking at video of the place. Yes, we could plant trees, and establish wide foundation plantings. Yes, we could replace the asphalt shingle roof, and the cheap little lanterns on the garage wings. We could spread compost and rock powders and beneficial nematodes on the lawns, to heal the soil. We could replace the mingy little staircase balustrades, and the cheap chandeliers. We could rip-up the sleazy plank flooring, and put down marble. But that would take time. And how much time, for all that Roundup and Paraquat to dissipate? Who wants to give their grandchildren cancer, or stunt their developing brains? Who wants to develop premature dementia? I kept looking at the overwrought driveway and fountain, and imagining some idiot spraying herbicide on them.

The worst, though, was the big-giant Fish Fry Porch on the back. I'm remembering all sorts of provisions for industrial-scale frying - and partying. I could smell the rancid grease. I could hear the ear-splitting yelling, in that Hog-waller accent. I could FEEL the base from all those speakers - playing radio-friendly "Rock" garbage that was lame and uncool, half-a-century ago, when it was new. You know: the music on the Top 40 stations - the garbage one punched-past, on the car's radio - looking....looking....endlessly, for something that wasn't smarmy mass-market Ear Poison. One knows one's pitiful, when one's still listening to music that only pitiful people listened to, fifty years in the past. Half-a-century, and they've still not bothered to find something better?
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Old 01-19-2022, 03:24 PM
 
1,182 posts, read 1,435,962 times
Reputation: 2393
Quote:
Originally Posted by GrandviewGloria View Post
People do not appreciate, nearly enough, what Mayor Mary and HER TEAM have done for that town, for that county, and for the State of Mississippi: Mayor Mary is a MIRACLE, and she brings miracles into being, day-after-day.
Concur! I wish we could clone her and put her in charge of every town in the 'Sip!
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