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All the negative reaction people give her about her being SO FAT have made her angry and bitter and employers spot this.
A common trait among very fat people but at one point, they have to admit they are doing it to themselves.
99% of the times, obese people get fat due to their lifestyle. Your friend needs realize that she put herself in that situation and only her can do something about it. It can be done, just like you can stop smoking or using other drugs.
She should use all that free time to work out, or at least walk. At this weight, just walking will make her shed a lot of weight. When I'm out of contracts, I get really ripped because I spend half my day at the gym or walking around for no particular reason.
Sitting at home in front of the TV, eating poor quality food is not a solution. And this is exactly how employer will percieve her, as a lazy person. And for that reason, your friend also has to realize that looks ARE important. Even moreso in today's society. I'd go as far as to say that she would have more chance of getting employed if she was a heavy meth or crack user (therefor thin, most of the times) than being very fat.
Very fat people tend to ignore that fact with bizarre rationalizations, like that what matters is how good you are inside or that fat people are more friendly. But we are so superficial that the best service you can do to your resume is taking care of your appearance.
If your friend is bitter and angry about that fact, remind her she would not hesitate to pick a good looking male with a sexy body over and aging fat man. If that still doesn't work, well, she has no desire to do something about it and just like an alcoholic who doesn't want to quit, I would advise you to get away from her as it will wear you down in the long run.
DAMN!!! 360 LBS? I've heard of that weight, but not along with 5 foot 4 inches tall!
OK, these days hierors are a lot more picky about looks than they used to be. They don't just look @ how well she can do the job, but @ how she'll present herself to people. In both areas your friend is weak. She's obviously depressed & way overweight.
She needs to get out & excersize. I think you should really help her with that. Like other people said, she needs to lose the weight. Then she'll feel better about herself. That'll make it easier to present herself in front of an interviewer & it'll look like she's both happy & physically fit enough to do the job.
Good food? No, wrong. Food stamps will buy her good food. Tell her to go apply. Tell her to let her caseworker know she can't find a job because of her weight and she needs to get healthy and her income is not allowing her to purchase fresh fruits and veggies. Water is cheaper than coke, light bread is the same price. She just needs to put the pedal to the metal! I lost 80 lbs after I had my baby (yes, I gained 80 lbs while I was pregnant) so I know it can be done.
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Pretty sad that NO ONE will hire her for a job that she did before. She probably could get something like K Mart or Wal Mart, but other than that, I think she's going to be hurting because of her weight. Not saying it's right, it's just reality.
The health insurance issue, for the employer, could be one reason why, she's not getting a job, however, I thought, in most employee health policies that are under a blanket group policy, you can't raise rates if you hire some one like that....
I've heard of companies not hiring smokers and getting away with it...for the insurance rates reason, other than that though, I'm not too sure.
Pretty sad that NO ONE will hire her for a job that she did before. She probably could get something like K Mart or Wal Mart, but other than that, I think she's going to be hurting because of her weight. Not saying it's right, it's just reality.
The health insurance issue, for the employer, could be one reason why, she's not getting a job, however, I thought, in most employee health policies that are under a blanket group policy, you can't raise rates if you hire some one like that....
I've heard of companies not hiring smokers and getting away with it...for the insurance rates reason, other than that though, I'm not too sure.
The insurance company, not the employer, sets the rate based on calculated risk across the entire staff. Too many high risk people will create a surcharge.
I think the context matters. I'm overweight, but also very tall, and AFAIK it has never prevented me from being hired. (I'm se;f employed now, but was always hired easily in the past.) I'm not as heavy as your friend though, and I'm a lot taller. I would think the extra 100 pounds really are hurting her chances--even if it's because she's not projecting confidence, or because she may not be able to pull off as professional an appearance for interviews. (I would imagine at 5 ft 4 and 360 that interview clothes are more difficult to find.)
That said, I do remember plenty of extremely overweight folks, men and women, riding the subway in business attire. I think that it is important to address her health, but she may also benefit from some coaching or help in coming across as confident and capable.
I think your friend is going to have a lot of trouble, especially in a job market as tough as this one with hundreds applying for any decent job. Apart from the issue of looks (which aren't supposed to matter but who's kidding), at that weight she is going to have a whole host of health problems which could mean a lot of time off and extra costs on a companies health insurance.
Is there anything you can do to help her get back on track? At the rate she is going, she will end up on disability and her working days will be over and that would be a terrible shame and waste. She's really going to have to choose to make it her job to get herself back, cheap gym membership, regular outdoor exercise, healthy food.
It will be VERY hard for her to make that step but I do know someone who got to the same place, obese, locked in the house, essentially unemployable. She realized she was on the precipice and managed to pull herself back.
The best post of this thread. This is so true. So true.
Sorry, I'm not inclined to read all 17 pages of this thread. So my question is...what industry is your friend in? This could be the deciding factor. If she is a telephone operator her appearance probably won't be that big of a consideration. On the other hand...
K
I have a friend like this. She is 5'3 and weighted about 320 lbs. She had trouble getting a job just about everywhere she applied to and she knew it was because of her weight. She finally applied for a job at fast food and they even said that they did not think she would be able to effectively move around the restaurant. The next day, she brought in her two year old daughter and told them that she needed a job to provide for her. They gave her the job, but they are not exactly nice to her (constant name calling from co-workers and managers).
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