Quote:
Originally Posted by 313Weather
I have to make a few adjustments...
EMPLOYEE WANTED DURING THE RECESSION:
Full time
Must have *at least 3-5 years of experience * in related field
*Must be proficient in every computer software known to man & alien
Must have excellent credit score
Must have 4 year degree *in related field from a regionally accredited brick & mortar school
*Must be certified in everything that exists
Must provide salary history & salary required
Must not have any gaps in employment
Must pass background check
Must not have stupid friends drinking beer on your facebook page
Some travel required
*1099 position
*Temporary 6-Month Position
Compensation: as little as humanly possible
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Orange county edition:
job requirements
Must have at least 3 years experience, put preferably 10
in the exact field sought for
Must have exceptional credit score
Must own and operate a car, and have a clean driver license
Must have a degree in
the exact field sought for from a California college
Must be able to do everything, including make waffles, for the boss
Must be certified in everything
Salary History and Salary requirements are required
Must not have ever been fired, laid off, or quit.
Must not be unemployed
Must pass extensive background check
Must have never filed for bankruptcy or have a foreclosure
Must not have gay, bisexual, Mormon, openly evangelical, openly political, openly punk, or beer drinking friends on facebook
Must not protest anything, or have any political persuasion on facebook
Must have better manners than most socialites or grandmas
Some travel required at own expense
temporary hire
No benefits, don't even ask
Must reside in Orange county, people from LA county will not be considered
Must have never lived in Utah or Texas
Mormons, gays, bisexuals, old people need not apply
I have found out that I have been excluded and not hired because my phone has an 801 area code and because I've lived in Utah I MUST be a Mormon. And that SSN? Well, I must have been a hooker also, because only hookers are from Vegas. /sarc
The pickiness is getting to crazy levels. My most recent examples include being told by a telemarketing place that I have no telemarketing experience because I was a paralegal at a law firm that had a call center and I worked in the call center ("you guys did not sell anything"). I applied to several law firms, only to be told that I had telemarketing experience because I worked in the call center as a paralegal, and not paralegal experience, event though I was trained in basic paralegal stuff.
I'm about ready to rip my hair out.
And because I moved from Utah, I have had hiring managers point blank ask me if I am LDS, and then go on a spiel about how Mormons are backward when I state that I am not.
I lock my facebook page down not because of this one crazy guy I know who facebook stalks me and (both of us like each other) but because some employer will look at it and go, "she's got all these Mormon friends, and is related to all these people in Texas, and look at that, she even has two gay men as friends! And look at all her single mother friends! And those three in Chicago!" None of my friends depict themselves drunk on their facebook profiles, but I can see myself not getting hired because those friends are undocumented, or live in Texas, or are gay, or Mormon.
Oh, and I totally forgot to add, that the experience must be gained from on the job training, not from a class. The states of Utah and California are having a field day with that requirement since so many of the unemployed go to classes to get job skills and the managers won't consider them because the training was not on the job.