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I don't see in the OP's plan how the baby will be cared for after husband's paternity leave.
It does sound as if OP is pregnant to keep her husband and really isn't interested in being a parent (whethe it involves diapers or not). Also, it's been my observation that men who want kids still do not want to be primary caregivers *at all*, not when they see what it involves and that it's gonna be a few years until the kid can catch a football.
I think the OP and her husband might be on a real collision course.
Thats just the difference between men and woman, men are best suited once the kid hits some sort of age of accountability and women are the coddlers when the kid is a baby. Men do not coddle by nature or change diapers. Men dont give women hell because they dont want to throw a foot ball or take the kid to boy scouts so I dont know why women get upset when men are not into coddling babies.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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No way would I reveal the pregnancy. I have three kids and I didn't even tell my current employer (with whom I'd been working for years) until I was in my second trimester. Eight weeks is way too early to even bring it up. The whole point in even telling your employer is so they can train someone/find someone to cover your position. A few months is plenty of time.
Also, is this your first baby? If so, you have absolutely no idea how you'll feel once the baby comes. I absolutely wouldn't mention that I don't need all of the leave available legally (per FMLA) or per the company mat leave policy. IMO, bringing up the baby and the leave is premature at this point.
I'd accept the position, first and then I'd wait until either I was showing or 16-20 weeks (depending on which happens first and once the greatest risk of miscarriage is over) and then tell my boss my anticipated due date as well as how long I planned to be out (IMO, it's much better to say 6 weeks and return in 4, then say 4 and ask for 2 more weeks).
Incidentally, I've worked at several places where pregnant women were hired and they didn't mention it until they were in their second trimester. I also interviewed when I was visibly pregnant and did NOT get an offers. I got a lot of "call us when you've had the baby" comments, though. I also got hired almost immediately once I was ready to return work so my pregnancy was obviously an issue.
Thats just the difference between men and woman, men are best suited once the kid hits some sort of age of accountability and women are the coddlers when the kid is a baby. Men do not coddle by nature or change diapers. Men dont give women hell because they dont want to throw a foot ball or take the kid to boy scouts so I dont know why women get upset when men are not into coddling babies.
Tabbcatt, I don't think my response was particularly rude, but hey, we all have our opinions. Others certainly mentioned similar and seemingly harsher statements.
No, it's not my business that your incomes allow a nanny. I have just known a lot of couples where one doesn't overly want a child and the other might a lot more, and it often collides.
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