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Old 04-27-2011, 08:52 AM
 
Location: Durham, NC
1,049 posts, read 3,786,061 times
Reputation: 732

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I can't put it in any more of a light-hearted fashion Hoping for some advice!

My husband and I recently got the good news, right in the midst of interviewing for new jobs. I know it's a horrible time to be looking for a new job, but I have reason to believe my current position won't last (government contract that is up in 2 months, mass exodus of upper management), plus I'm super unhappy with the company and my position so I was looking for a change anyway.

So anyway, I'm at the fourth interview of a really promising job and I'm not sure what's good protocol. Nobody could ever possibly tell by looking at me (only 8 weeks along). Of course I don't want to jeopardize my chances of getting a new job, but I also feel like I'd by lying by omission if I didn't mention it. I really don't want to cause hard feelings if I get hired and end up having to tell them a month or two in. That said, there's no good WAY to bring it up in an interview, and I don't even know if I need to or should. And I mean, it's only 8 weeks... I don't want to jinx myself, but it's really freaking early.

Edit if it matters: I have no plans to stay home longer than I have to, in order to... get it done. I'm a working girl and definitely not looking at taking two months off, maybe a week or two. My husband will probably take a month or two of paternity leave instead.

Thoughts? What's the right thing to do?
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Old 04-27-2011, 08:59 AM
 
1,446 posts, read 3,546,616 times
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Might as well mention it, they might like it.

Depending on who you apply to, some hiring processes(public/govt sector) take up to 6 months to a year just to schedule an interview. So, the baby might end up being a non issue with interviewers after a while.

And companies value moms as multi taskers.
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Old 04-27-2011, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Simmering in DFW
6,952 posts, read 22,645,188 times
Reputation: 7296
Don't tell them. If you get the job and make it past the first trimester, once you have made it thru your successful new employee probation, you will then need to have a well-planned dialogue with your immediate supervisor. When you are ready to have that discussion, ask again here for pointers. You are in your legal right 100% to NOT disclose this information and you may not make it past the first trimester as pregnancies are fragile during this time. Your risk by changing jobs is that your new employer does not have to grant you a leave because under the FMLA they only have to grant those for people employed a year --- so if they are really angry you may not have a job to return to after the baby is born.
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Old 04-27-2011, 09:04 AM
 
Location: Durham, NC
1,049 posts, read 3,786,061 times
Reputation: 732
Java: I'm actually doing the fourth interview on Monday and they're opening operations in my city next week, so I'm anticipating an offer (if they like me) within a week. Good advice though, how would you even start to bring it up, if I decided to do that?

Squirl: That's what I'm worried about most, pissing them off I'm more than happy to just use vacation time instead of FMLA, as I realize it's a bad time to be switching jobs and it may not be available to me. Or just going unpaid, that's fine too. Unfortunately I don't think I have the luxury of staying where I'm at, as my team may end up dissolving. I do think you're right about it being too early to say anything.
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Old 04-27-2011, 09:58 AM
 
Location: NJ
17,574 posts, read 46,060,080 times
Reputation: 16273
I wouldn't say anything.

That being said I would be thinking about how you are going to take leave. Will you be eligible for FMLA with switching jobs? Will the vacation they offer be enough time? What does your state offer?
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Old 04-27-2011, 10:03 AM
 
Location: Durham, NC
1,049 posts, read 3,786,061 times
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I don't know if I'll be eligible, but their vacation plan is awesome and should be more than adequate.

State law is 12 weeks... which is waaaaayyyyyyyyy more than I want.
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Old 04-27-2011, 10:04 AM
 
1,096 posts, read 4,520,253 times
Reputation: 1097
Quote:
Originally Posted by tabbcat View Post
I can't put it in any more of a light-hearted fashion Hoping for some advice!

My husband and I recently got the good news, right in the midst of interviewing for new jobs. I know it's a horrible time to be looking for a new job, but I have reason to believe my current position won't last (government contract that is up in 2 months, mass exodus of upper management), plus I'm super unhappy with the company and my position so I was looking for a change anyway.

So anyway, I'm at the fourth interview of a really promising job and I'm not sure what's good protocol. Nobody could ever possibly tell by looking at me (only 8 weeks along). Of course I don't want to jeopardize my chances of getting a new job, but I also feel like I'd by lying by omission if I didn't mention it. I really don't want to cause hard feelings if I get hired and end up having to tell them a month or two in. That said, there's no good WAY to bring it up in an interview, and I don't even know if I need to or should. And I mean, it's only 8 weeks... I don't want to jinx myself, but it's really freaking early.

Edit if it matters: I have no plans to stay home longer than I have to, in order to... get it done. I'm a working girl and definitely not looking at taking two months off, maybe a week or two. My husband will probably take a month or two of paternity leave instead.

Thoughts? What's the right thing to do?
Tough position, mentioning it basicaly means your not a person many people would want to hire but at the same time its the right thing to do to mention it.

When someone is close to hiring you they will often ask if you have any vacations planned or things you have planned that will require time off. That may be a good time to bring it up.

Not sure what types of jobs your going for or how long you'll be out after pregnancy but just seems like right about the time they have you trained and your getting into the swing of things youll be out for 6 weeks and forget everythign you learned.
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Old 04-27-2011, 10:07 AM
 
1,096 posts, read 4,520,253 times
Reputation: 1097
Quote:
Originally Posted by Squirl View Post
Don't tell them. If you get the job and make it past the first trimester, once you have made it thru your successful new employee probation, you will then need to have a well-planned dialogue with your immediate supervisor. When you are ready to have that discussion, ask again here for pointers. You are in your legal right 100% to NOT disclose this information and you may not make it past the first trimester as pregnancies are fragile during this time. Your risk by changing jobs is that your new employer does not have to grant you a leave because under the FMLA they only have to grant those for people employed a year --- so if they are really angry you may not have a job to return to after the baby is born.
I dont know any company or manager that would be too thrilled with hiring someone who knows they are pregnant, keeping it a secret and then revealing oh btw, I know I just started but I'll be out for 6-8 weeks.

It's not fair to the company, your manager or your fellow employees. I know at my previous job I was swamped, was so trhilled to finally have a new hire to share the workload, I wouldn't like you as a coworker if you started I had to train you and then you leave right away.

Not sure if OP is in an at will state or not but if you do this to them you will not be their favorite person and they can find a reason besides pregnancy to fire you, you'll know it was the pregnancy but good luck proving it.

Be upfront with people. Maybe they will start you out in a limited role until after your back from the pregnancy or work around your schedule
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Old 04-27-2011, 10:22 AM
 
Location: Durham, NC
1,049 posts, read 3,786,061 times
Reputation: 732
Yeah, I think I'll go ahead and mention it if availability/vacation time comes up. Seems like the right thing to do and like a good time to do it. I don't even really think that it should affect me much (the position is 90% remote and 10% client-facing) so I don't anticipate that if they knew it would make much of a difference.

Of course, if I'm wrong, and they wouldn't hire me knowing it, they certainly wouldn't want to keep me around when they found out! So I suppose being up-front will help me weed out folks I don't want to work for anyhow. I'm a little worried still that it's a bit too early to say anything though.

And maybe I'm being naieve, but being out for 6-8 weeks seems insanely long. I was thinking a week or two. As I mentioned, my husband plans to take paternity leave. I just want to get my body back in one piece and go back to work.

Thanks for the feedback and ideas!
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Old 04-27-2011, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Simmering in DFW
6,952 posts, read 22,645,188 times
Reputation: 7296
Quote:
Originally Posted by tabbcat View Post
Yeah, I think I'll go ahead and mention it if availability/vacation time comes up. Seems like the right thing to do and like a good time to do it. I don't even really think that it should affect me much (the position is 90% remote and 10% client-facing) so I don't anticipate that if they knew it would make much of a difference.

Of course, if I'm wrong, and they wouldn't hire me knowing it, they certainly wouldn't want to keep me around when they found out! So I suppose being up-front will help me weed out folks I don't want to work for anyhow. I'm a little worried still that it's a bit too early to say anything though.

And maybe I'm being naieve, but being out for 6-8 weeks seems insanely long. I was thinking a week or two. As I mentioned, my husband plans to take paternity leave. I just want to get my body back in one piece and go back to work.

Thanks for the feedback and ideas!
Count on being out a min. of 3 weeks. When you tell them (after your successful end of probation) you can tell them the plan is 3 weeks but that you can once again do work remotely after 2 weeks. I have personally witnessed many people do what I suggested and b/c they were turning into such good employees there were no repercussions. Frankly, I have never seen an admitted prego get hired for anything but a temp job. I have 30+ yrs of HR experience..... Of course, your call. BTW, I've had subordinates come to me with this very issue, telling me they were in their 1st trimester during interview and really did not want to chance losing job (and pregnancy) before knowing for sure if they got offer or if the pregnancy would sustain. Other thing you can do is -- when you accept the offer -- at that time tell them the condition is you can take 3 weeks LOA for this reason that you are very early in a pregnancy and its before the end of the first trimester so you at this point are unsure if it will be a viable pregnancy. Get the offer first.....
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