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Well this just happened to the OP last night, so they have a right to dwell on it for awhile. A lot of their time, effort, and energy went into this.
They should "move on" when they're ready to move on.
While I agree that they need to keep looking and as the Brits say "press on", if they want to stew over this or vent that is perfectly alright.
It's always easy to tell someone else how to act in a situation like this when you're not the one in that situation.
I agree. There's nothing wrong (in fact everything right) with letting all the negative emotions flow freely (and share them with a trusted friend), so you can sooner let them go and move on.
On #2 I'm shocked. You mean they actually expect that you will sit around on 0 income waiting for them when they just rejected you ?
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No. Never sit around waiting. You never know, in 1-2 years this company might have an opening and maybe the OP is in a different job but is thinking of changing jobs at that point.
Or maybe in 1 month they have another opening and maybe in 1 month the OP didn't find a new position yet.
I know of someone that was rejected by a company and appied for another opening a year later and was hired. They did not get hired the first time because they were lacking some required skills that they picked up in that year.
I once was a 2nd pick at a company. They hired someone else. 4 months later they hired me when the first pick didn't work out. I didn't sit around waiting. Never would do that and never would suggest that to anyone.
seain dublin, Stewing on it is time better spent going after the next opportunity. While its human nature to stew, it is still an unproductive use of time, at a period when time must be used wisely.
The good news is the OP got to the round of finalists, and having been there/done that, and also from hiring experience, most often the same few percent of candidates keep getting to the final round, and that group , eventually, all get hired somewhere.
In short, I like the OP's future chances far more because the OP reached the 3rd round.
The secret is to let it all out for a little bit, and then move on. Nobody can be expected to "just get over" a painful rejection immediately without venting and feeling angry, disappointed, and let down. There aren't all that many "men and women of steel" out there. Now I'd agree that stewing over it for any longer than necessary would be unproductive and unhelpful.
No. Never sit around waiting. You never know, in 1-2 years this company might have an opening and maybe the OP is in a different job but is thinking of changing jobs at that point.
Or maybe in 1 month they have another opening and maybe in 1 month the OP didn't find a new position yet.
I know of someone that was rejected by a company and appied for another opening a year later and was hired. They did not get hired the first time because they were lacking some required skills that they picked up in that year.
I once was a 2nd pick at a company. They hired someone else. 4 months later they hired me when the first pick didn't work out. I didn't sit around waiting. Never would do that and never would suggest that to anyone.
Well, no, obviously you're not going to just sit around waiting. But your point number 2 implied that you need to encourage the company to believe that you'll just sit around & wait because the only company you're interested in working for is theirs, and that asking them if they have any other leads at their fingertips would be a death knell for your chances to ever work for that company in the future.
As joe from dayton proved, there are at least some hiring managers /HR that would welcome the question "do you know of any other potential leads for me". It's just plain common sense that an employer who rejected you would still be a potential chance to network, just to ask them if they know of anyone (doesn't have to be a competitor, maybe a supplier, maybe a customer) that might be hiring for your skills. It seems silly that you need to coddle any ridiculous fantasy of the company that the only company you have any interest in working for is them.
I can understand why asking someone who just rejected you for leads might be embarrassing and scary, but I don't see it as bad manners at all, so long as you aren't annoying about it. "It's not personal (like a date), it's business (like selling shoes)".
The secret is to let it all out for a little bit, and then move on. Nobody can be expected to "just get over" a painful rejection immediately without venting and feeling angry, disappointed, and let down. There aren't all that many "men and women of steel" out there. Now I'd agree that stewing over it for any longer than necessary would be unproductive and unhelpful.
Exactly, this didn't happen 6 months ago, or even 1 month ago, it just happened 2 days ago. The OP went through 3 interviews and then gets an automated response telling them they didn't get the job.
It's always easy to tell someone else to "get over it", when you're not the one in a certain situation. Yes, the OP must keep looking but if he wants to vent or sulk for a little bit that is his right.
And the problem with such an impersonal turndown is you can't even send an e-mail back to the sender trying to keep communication open.
It doesn't always work but sometimes if a turndown e-mail is sent from the hiring manager there is the opportunity to keep in contact. In the event that another position opens up.
You lose the chance to respond back to a real person and say thank you for the interview and would be OK to contact you directly in the event that another position opens up.
Well, no, obviously you're not going to just sit around waiting. But your point number 2 implied that you need to encourage the company to believe that you'll just sit around & wait because the only company you're interested in working for is theirs, and that asking them if they have any other leads at their fingertips would be a death knell for your chances to ever work for that company in the future.
As joe from dayton proved, there are at least some hiring managers /HR that would welcome the question "do you know of any other potential leads for me". It's just plain common sense that an employer who rejected you would still be a potential chance to network, just to ask them if they know of anyone (doesn't have to be a competitor, maybe a supplier, maybe a customer) that might be hiring for your skills. It seems silly that you need to coddle any ridiculous fantasy of the company that the only company you have any interest in working for is them.
I can understand why asking someone who just rejected you for leads might be embarrassing and scary, but I don't see it as bad manners at all, so long as you aren't annoying about it. "It's not personal (like a date), it's business (like selling shoes)".
Let's agree to disagree. I have multiple reasons why this doesn't make sense and none of them are because it might seem embarrassing or scary or personal. I would never do it and would never suggest than anyone else do it. If you want to give the sales example, you really want to keep the relationship "open" even when told "no". You follow up and hope that eventually that "no" turns to "yes", maybe quickly, maybe long term.
I can only recall one time where an employer called to turn me down. Most times, it was a letter or email rejection but many other times I never heard a word back. Even after being told I was a "top candidate".
Yep, I was in the top 3 out of 100 applicants and did a sample presentation and several interviews and the lady told me "We don't have time to inform the ones we don't select."
I applied for some security guard job at the beginning of the year.
I went to the office and had an interview.
The interviewer told me that I will be called in for an orientation after the company conducts a background check. I even had a drug test then...The drug test was only given to candidates who were seriously considered for employment. I walked out feeling somewhat excited about getting the job.
More than one month passed...Nobody contacted me about the job.
I did call a few times. One time, the HR lady told me that the background check takes time and therefore I should just wait. I called a few weeks later.
I left a message on her answering machine. She did not call me back.
I am assuming that I am not getting this job. There is no reason for me not to pass the background...It would have been nice for that company just to send me a rejection email...
Let's agree to disagree. I have multiple reasons why this doesn't make sense and none of them are because it might seem embarrassing or scary or personal. I would never do it and would never suggest than anyone else do it. If you want to give the sales example, you really want to keep the relationship "open" even when told "no". You follow up and hope that eventually that "no" turns to "yes", maybe quickly, maybe long term.
Fine. I'll agree to disagree. I'd love to hear your "multiple reasons" why it doesn't make sense, but in my opinion there are plenty of reason why it does make sense too. I don't see why asking if they know anyone else who might be interested "closes" the sales relationship.
Yep, I was in the top 3 out of 100 applicants and did a sample presentation and several interviews and the lady told me "We don't have time to inform the ones we don't select."
Two people is too many to inform????
This is another example of how our society is breaking down. Years ago they actually sent out typed letters. Amazing how they had time to send out actual letters.
How much time and effort does it take to send 2 e-mails? Less than 2 minutes which is exactly what I would have told her.
It is lazy and unprofessional.
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Email will be fine for me.
Less than 2 minutes which is exactly what I would have told her.
