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Old 05-31-2013, 03:51 PM
 
219 posts, read 409,885 times
Reputation: 540

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Radical347 View Post
So she said something like "I moved here because I like it" and then your employer found out she had a boyfriend who also moved...and they looked unfavorably upon her for that?

...really?

As if the two are mutually exclusive. I'm not doubting you, but I'm just in disbelief at the sheer amount of scrutinization your company just showed over details that are so ridiculously unrelated to work.
Being up front with your potential employer as to why you came to apply for the position is not unrelated. Feeding them some bs line will be easy to detect once follow up questions are asked. "Because I like it" is a bs response that no employer is going to settle for. If an employer gets even the slightest impression that you are not being up front with them, you are no longer being considered.
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Old 05-31-2013, 08:16 PM
 
Location: galaxy far far away
3,110 posts, read 5,105,124 times
Reputation: 7265
Quote:
Originally Posted by limbo24 View Post
Just lie or reframe like everyone in this thread advised. That's the way to success!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
You should do what other posters have suggested and LIE to start out your new job and new life. That is the absolute most intelligent thing to do and don't be surprised when they find out it was a lie and fire you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeexplorer View Post
Look, the main reason is you should NOT discuss things irrelevant to your ability to do the job. The keyword here is "irrelevant". It is a JOB interview not a date.

Don't bring up things that aren't relevant - that is one of the crucial rule of interview.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sware2cod View Post
It could be a tempy situation. Which might make the company think that you are moving for the time being until the family situation changes (if caring for a sick relative, maybe they get better or move into a nursing home, then you don't need to be in MA any more. )

If you moved for your spouse, that would be a perfect reply. But since you are not married, you cannot say that you moved for your spouse. If you say you moved for your boyfriend, it doesn't sound quite right.

Besides, your really didn't move for your boyfriend. You AND your boyfriend researched areas and MA was a place you both picked.
what they really are trying to figure out....Are you likely to move away soon. That's all they want to know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by changeisdue View Post
You are making this too difficult. You are in a relationship and moved here because he found work. Nothing wrong with that. Give them some bs vague response and they will see through it and not take you seriously. You have been moving around, so why you moved there is absolutely relevant in the eyes of the employer, regardless of what others here feel, which is why it has been asked in prior interviews. Situation like this happened not too long ago with my employer. The applicant gave them a bs response only to find out later it was to be with a boyfriend. They did not care that she wanted to live near him, but cared a lot that she lied about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ukiyo-e View Post
Her relationship shouldn't enter into the job interview; it has nothing to do with her qualifications. "Family reasons" is truthful but vague enough. No need to go into details about how permanent or temporary her relationship is. It's none of the employer's business; in fact, they aren't even allowed to ask if an applicant is married, so why volunteer relationship status information?
Bolding the most salient points.
As a person with three decades of HR experience and thousands of interviews for clients under my belt I'll weigh in here.

First of all, it is NOT LYING to not offer irrelevant material. There are some things that are illegal for the interviewer to ask both in person and on written essays. That doesn't mean they don't ask, and it doesn't mean you should get your knickers in a twist if they do ask. Consider this: What if, as a female, you are moving because you and your female love interest were moving together? Would you feel so driven to include that information? Because there are discrimination laws on the books in MA (and most states) about that, they can't ask that question. Therefore you don't need to disclose your Significant Other information if you don't want to.

Start here: Most interviewers don't know what the heck they are doing. They have a list of questions someone wrote up, and they have normal human curiosity. They sometimes are reading the questions and not even thinking about them, OR they are just nosy.

The PURPOSE of a question like that is the one I bolded in red above. sware2cod is correct. This is actually a question with a hidden meaning - ergo: "how long are you sticking around because we will have to spend time and money training you and if you don't stick around I have to go through this miserable exercise AGAIN."

If your husband/ boyfriend were military, you MIGHT want to answer this question like this, "My fiance is in the military and is going to be stationed here. We'll be here for at least 2 years." Why would you do that? Because that is important information - there's a government imposed time limit. Now I, as the interviewer, get to make a choice knowing that you may be gone in two years. Then again, I have found military dependents to be incredibly dependable and at least I know I will have you for two years if I train you and treat you right.

Othern' that, You can use many of the different answers you heard on here. If you must bring BF in, you make it that he gave you the opportunity, not that he is the "REASON" for your move. So you might say, "I've always loved this part of the country and when my significant other got a job offer here I jumped at the chance to move here as well." Significant other leaves enough vagueness that a smart interviewer won't go any further lest they get into trouble. Saying you jumped at the chance, which it sounds like you did, would tell me that even if you and your SO broke up, you might still stick around.

A smart interviewer isn't going to dwell on the answer to this question. I focus on skills, ability to get along with others, reasons they left other jobs, what do they expect from our company and from their immediate supervisors, how well do they adapt to change and stress, how good are they at problem solving and taking initiative. IMHO If your success at getting hired hinges on "why did you move to MA?" ...you may not want that job anyway.

Good luck in your job search. I will tell you one quick secret -- interviewers are looking for people with their "lights on." I would take one conscious worker for 6 months over 6 half-asleep people who don't know how to work hard for 5 years.
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Old 05-31-2013, 08:23 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, NC, formerly NoVA and Phila
9,564 posts, read 14,719,752 times
Reputation: 10310
She's not lying by saying she likes it there. She DOES like it there - because her boyfriend is there.
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Old 05-31-2013, 09:35 PM
 
1,658 posts, read 3,374,079 times
Reputation: 1705
Quote:
Originally Posted by changeisdue View Post
Being up front with your potential employer as to why you came to apply for the position is not unrelated. Feeding them some bs line will be easy to detect once follow up questions are asked. "Because I like it" is a bs response that no employer is going to settle for. If an employer gets even the slightest impression that you are not being up front with them, you are no longer being considered.
Unless her boyfriend directly referred her to the position, then no, it is unrelated. IMO it's creepy that a company would no longer consider a candidate simply because she omitted telling them about her relationship status.

Company: Why did you move here?
Applicant: Because I like it here.
Company: You lie! You moved here for your boyfriend! We're not going to hire you.

Sounds like the company did her a favor.
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Old 06-01-2013, 04:27 AM
 
219 posts, read 409,885 times
Reputation: 540
Quote:
Originally Posted by Radical347 View Post
Unless her boyfriend directly referred her to the position, then no, it is unrelated. IMO it's creepy that a company would no longer consider a candidate simply because she omitted telling them about her relationship status.

Company: Why did you move here?
Applicant: Because I like it here.
Company: You lie! You moved here for your boyfriend! We're not going to hire you.

Sounds like the company did her a favor.
Why a person who has no ties to the area they are applying for a job in is relevant to the interview, from an interviewer's perspective (I could explain why but it would be as pointless as your opinion on the matter). "Because I like it" comes off as deceptive. They won't call you out on it during the interview, they just won't be calling you for a second one.

I love posts where people suggest what employers can/can't ask, should/shouldn't ask, and my favorite, would be illegal to ask. In most cases, they will ask what they want, and the only thing irrelevant is the applicant's opinion about it. They put a tremendous amount of resources into filling a position and will do what they can, not what others think they can, to make sure they find someone who will be the best fit, and will be committed to the company. Give them even the slightest impression that you are not being straight with them, and you are out of the running. If you sleep better at night telling yourself the company did you a favor because you didn't agree with the question, then sweet dreams.

My advice for the OP regarding this question is be honest. Employers will not judge you nearly as much on the truth as they will if it seems like you are hiding something. I would also make a point to direct questions like "how to answer an interview question" to those who conduct the interviews, and not those who only have experience being interviewed. With that said, I must disclose that I do not personally conduct interviews, so take my thoughts with a grain of salt also. Be very cautious about getting interviewing tips from those who seem to have problems getting past the interview process themselves. Might sound odd a first, but the person with a lot of experience interviewing for jobs, is the last person I would seek advice from. Good luck!
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Old 06-02-2013, 12:43 AM
 
2,845 posts, read 5,726,606 times
Reputation: 3735
People view a bf/gf differently than a spouse. Bf/gfs break up all the time, a spouse people think you are more likely to stick together.

I see no issue with saying something like "to be closer to family" if you and your bf get married, he'll be family. No one is going to fire you if later on they find out you have no family there! You could always say your bf is your family
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Old 06-02-2013, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Arizona
7,307 posts, read 7,249,005 times
Reputation: 23823
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeexplorer View Post
"I moved here for personal reason" or "I move here for family reasons" would not incite more questions.
They certainly would. They wouldn't ask her the questions but would be asking themselves how much time off they would need for personal or family reasons?
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Old 06-02-2013, 11:16 AM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
13,522 posts, read 20,594,152 times
Reputation: 20212
Q: Why are you in MA?

A: Well, funny you asked because it's a question I've been pondering for most of my adult life. When I was a child I've always wanted to be a fireman because I loved that TV show "Emergency" and there's just something about red trucks and sirens and the uniforms that drew me to them. When I was in middle school, however, there was an incident that gave me pause. I can remember vividly now that it was a cloudless afternoon on a Wednesday, no wait, a Tuesday because I remember we had pizza slices for lunch and we never have pizza slices on Wednedays ....


keep it going until the interviewer stops you.
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Old 06-02-2013, 11:39 AM
 
2,845 posts, read 5,726,606 times
Reputation: 3735
LMAO that'd probably be the quickest way to tank an interview!
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Old 06-16-2013, 12:17 AM
 
39 posts, read 76,578 times
Reputation: 39
Example answer: Ever since visiting MA back in _____ (just make it up), I've dreamt of moving here. There are such wonderful opportunities in my field, and the area has so much to offer in terms of culture.
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